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Keniichi
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25 Feb 2013, 9:04 pm

Ok I have noticed that my parents(and majority of parents) energy drops earlier and earlier every year. How do I deal with this? I understand they are tired, but in my opinion that doesnt give them a right to be down right mean about it.


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cathylynn
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25 Feb 2013, 9:17 pm

can you tell a bit more about what is going on?



Keniichi
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25 Feb 2013, 9:29 pm

cathylynn wrote:
can you tell a bit more about what is going on?

For instance they say we HAVE to go shopping at 4 AM, and cook dinner at 3 PM. Most people my age dont get up at 4 AM or eat at 3 PM, but yet alot of the elderly do. If I dont eat dinner with my family, I dont get to eat at all.
Example: I told my mom I was going to bake a cake later around 2:30 and would like her opinion on something. She said ok, as did the elders. So after some shopping and schoolwork I decide to make the cake at 2:30 and just ask her/the elderly at church, and I got snapped at. "Were tired, you should have done this f***ing earlier, young lady! When we were your age, we baked the REAL way, and did stuff earlier, when we KNEW the elderly werent tired" All I did was ask 2 simple questions. (Ie would you consider this a dark or light pan, and would you all like a slice of cake earlier). They wound up taking most of the cake(it was a success), and they wondered why and how I could cook so well considering I havent been "properly" taught(according to them).
This always happens to me(and alot of people my age in real life) with the elderly.


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cathylynn
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25 Feb 2013, 11:57 pm

sounds like they don't have much empathy and expect everyone else to do things their way. try not to take their comments to heart. going shopping that early sounds like a way to avoid people. sure they're not on the spectrum?



ASDsmom
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26 Feb 2013, 12:32 am

What's open at 4am??



trollcatman
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26 Feb 2013, 1:13 am

ASDsmom wrote:
What's open at 4am??


Who in their right mind gets upt at 4am? That is the middle of the night. I've seen them do it though, people walking the dog when I was going home from the pub.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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26 Feb 2013, 5:22 am

Are you parents particularly old? Older people can have weird sleep patterns, e.g. getting up really early and going to bed early. But, that shouldn't be your problem.


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ASDMommyASDKid
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26 Feb 2013, 1:03 pm

4 AM shopping is crazy. My mom used to like to go out early to shop but not that early. One reason was because she was a terrible driver and had trouble parking even in parking places where you do not have to parallel park or anything. She liked going when the parking lot was virtually empty so she could park forward all the way and not have to back out when she left. She would not even have gone as early as 4 AM because she never would have wanted to drive at night. (She is thankfully off the roads these days)

For the rest, old people can be very very rigid and can also feel entitled because some of them feel like everyone younger than them "owes" them something due to their age. Maybe they had to mind their elders in that way and so feel it is their turn. I don't know.



zette
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26 Feb 2013, 3:04 pm

The reference to "elders" makes me wonder if the OP's parents immigrated to the US from another country, or if perhaps the OP and his or her family live in a country where 4 am shopping is more commonly available? Is there a lot of deference to elders expected in your culture?

Part of the "elders" response sounds like typical belly-aching about how things were so much better in their youth. As to how to deal with it, if it is predictable, you have to plan ahead and work around their usual schedule for requests and favors you ask of them, without being a prisoner to unreasonable demands like shopping at 4am.



Keniichi
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28 Feb 2013, 12:08 am

My parents and their generation are old. (60's and 70's). My great grandpa is worse! :(


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ASDMommyASDKid
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28 Feb 2013, 2:47 am

60's and 70's ... yeah... You can expect that their energy level will keep declining. Also, if they get memory issues or anything like that, in the future, it will be even harder because they will insist they have told you things they have not and will not remember things you have said/done before.

Aging is hard.