Yep. Kids suck.

Post Reply New Topic

Went to a school fundraiser.

My son tells me he sees someone he knows. This is a kid I have heard him mention before as one of his "friends." I tell him that he should say hi. The kid is right in front of us, so my son says "Hi <insert name>!" The kid doesn't respond (though I know he can hear him, it would be impossible not to), so my son taps his shoulder and says "Hi <insert name>!" when he turns around.

The little jerk didn't say a word. Looked right at my son and ignored him.

I am so sickened by all this crap. Really. Makes it hard not to lose faith in the human race sometimes. Do you cry? Do you scream? What?

...so unfair...

I've had this happen to my son as well. It's gut-wrenching and hard not to want to stick up for him. Sorry!

I know, but my son would have been mortified if I would have said anything. I guess the good news is that he has the social wherewithal to know that Mom sticking up for you is not cool when you are in middle school.

Then you have my daughter, who had more than one kid come up and say hi to her and she just backs away, stares sheepishly and puts on a very fake smile.

It's all very painful and I hate going to these things anyway. They are loud. And crowded. And because we are new in town, I know nobody. And when I see people I think I recognize, I usually have no idea why I recognize them. Do they live in the neighborhood? Work at Lowe's? Grocery shop where I do? Have a kid in the same class as one of mine? A man walked up and started talking to me like he knew me and I tried to play along. I know he busted me. I know he knew that I had no idea who he was. Luckily, he "helped" me by saying "too bad the girls don't ride the same bus this year." Then it hit me. He is my neighbor. We used to wait for the morning bus together. For months. I hate that I didn't recognize him. If I would have seen him on our street, I totally would have. But the context threw me.

<sigh> I feel a bit of a self-pity party coming on.

Maybe that other kid has issues of his own.
I can’t count the times people have misinterpreted me.
Neglect (or social incompetence) is not the same as abuse.
I would save the anger for someone who actively, deliberately does something hurtful.

That guy was nice to “help” you with the clue about the girls’ bus.
It’s nice to have a reminder that not everyone is petty or cruel.
I’m mildly face blind and I gave up feeling guilty about that kind of thing years ago.
I’m doing my best and I’m not going to get worked up about things I can’t change.

Awww xo

Well, you're right in the sense that your son does have enough social awareness to NOT want mom to step in and "save" him. What we don't know is why the other child stared blankly at him. Maybe he's an akward child himself? Maybe something happened just prior to your son saying hi? I tend to "jump into conclusions" with issues involving my son and it's a conscious EFFORT to be more optimistic. I'm not sure if I've ever been successful at it - mind you - but I'm aware of it.

As for forgetting that guy, we all do it. Use humour next time and you'll make a new friend

InThisTogether, you sound just like me! I'm pathetic at recognizing people...I know they are familiar but who they are exactly always escapes me. My son is not in middle school yet, thankfully, but at the elementary level (first grade!) they are already sophisticated enough to spread rumors, most recently that because he only goes to after school care a couple of days a week, that must mean he did something bad and they banned him from coming those days when he is not there. I also hate it when he tries to engage other children and they just look at him like he's from Mars. Not that they all do...a lot of them think he's terribly fun and he has friends and interacts well with them. But there seem to be certain personality types even from childhood that just don't appreciate quirky, and from my life experience they never grow out of it. As adults these types just learn to mask it a bit better with pleasantries, but still keep you at arm's length when they sense you are different.

See, I cant control myself in situations like this. I guess my son is only 7 so I can get away with it still , But I SOOOO would have said tot he boy, "OH so you are, so and so, HI!! !! !" then I would turn to my son and say, "Oh, he will say hi now, go ahead and say hello to him again!" And lord help the little bugger if he still didnt respond.

I guess with a middle schooler you kind of have to play it cool, I sure hope I learn to control myself when it comes to butting in on behalf of of my son!

That’s tough, instinctively you want to defend your child but your intelligence knows that could make it worst. Your son seems very intelligent and resilient, and as children get older we as parents sometimes need to step back and let our kids resolve difficulties on their own.

Middle School was awful. But High School has been great. I hear we're really lucky in that, but also ... kids grow up. My son doesn't have a lot of friends, but he has very true friends, and by his activities he is part of a bigger circle. I hope it will be that way for your son.

"Hey, my son told you hi, say hi back, that is so rude to not respond."

I know the feeling of the kid. I experienced it many time. I often cried during those times but I was glad my mom was always there. I think you should just be always with your kid. It reminds us that even though the world's against us, our mom will always be there for us.

If only you were right. This kid was zooming around on his heeleys, flirting with girls, and acting exactly the way I remember the "popular" middle school boys acting.

He dissed my son. No doubt about it. At any rate, from watching him interact with the other kids, there is no possibility that he has social issues of his own. He was clearly the leader in his social group.

Sigh...it's really tough. My son's friend (who DS thinks walks on water) has decided to spend time with a group of boys who make my son's life a little difficult. Now, they all run away from him or chase him away - and it's gut wrenching when they do and my son's yells out "If you keep being mean, I am not going to play with you" I just tell him that he doesn't need to spend time with mean kids.
One of the kids is a real bully and tries to hurt him, which is when I intervene - I say, "Jack, don't even think about it" but the mama bear in me wants to say "Touch him again, and I'll cut you, you little f***"

Yep, all this and puberty, too! /sarcasm.

I've experienced the same thing, with my daughter. She doesn't seem to mind, but I do. I know the kids I'm talking about are likely NT, as I've seen them with other kids. It's just my daughter who gets the blank stare treatment. It tends to be the girls who do this, as most of the boys seem to love her, for now anyway. Honestly, I think those kids are lacking in social skills, to a far greater extent than my daughter is. She's a friendly, sweet natured little girl, who would never be intentionally mean to anyone. I think it's ironic that she's the one with a diagnosis.

A few months ago, we were in a restaurant. My daughter said that the girl sitting at the table beside us was an older girl from her school, who spoke to her a lot. I'd heard about the girl and the relationship sounded really sweet and I thought of the girl as quite being motherly. In the restaurant, she definitely saw my daughter, but turned her head away (quite unconvincingly) so my daughter couldn't get her attention, without calling to her. She decided not to do that, but was confused about the girl's reaction. It was as if she was embarrassed and didn't want her family to know about her being friends with my daughter. I had thought the girl was mature, but I was really wrong. I can understand if a child who doesn't like her does this, but not a so-called 'friend'.

I've often had the same thought "and it's my kid who has social issues?"