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ODD and ADHD: Parenting Strategies for Working with Defiant Children (Ages 6-12)

http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/29/10041.html

Awesome, thank you!

Thank you!

I really like ADDitude Magazine, a lot of their advice about adult ADHD seems to be helpful for me. (As an autistic with significant executive dysfunction.)

We are think of adopting this, at least in part. My son is not good at answering (or asking) "why" questions so I am not quite sure how well this will work. For anyone who is using this program: Are there particular communication milestones that have to be there, for this to work. I don't mind using it and seeing where it goes and plant seeds for the future, but I was just wondering what kind of success I should realistically expect.

Also, I will still have the issues of the school not wanting to abide by anything that looks "soft," so I will have to work that into my steps some way like "I am concerned because I do not want you to get into trouble at school."

We didn't follow this particular program, but this is basically how we discipline DS, and it works well. Our concession to the questioning issue is to write everything down. When we had a really, really big problem I created Twitter accounts for everyone in the family, and we tweeted through the process. I kid you not.

It helped me as a parent to be restricted to 140 characters.

We use some elements that are like this except without relying on his input too much, and making assumptions about what is wrong due to the communication issues. It would not be a tremendous departure to attempt to get more info from my son, but I do not want to frustrate him as he can get overwhelmed by too many of these type of questions. The "drilling" part is going to have to be short, and I think if I don't get all the info I am supposed to drill for, I will have to make a judgement about when to leave it be and then maybe try again some other time.

I think, also, that instead of questioning, we do a lot of trial-and-error with the same outcomes in mind: to be working from his perspective and not ours.