Help with my daughter!

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Hello,
I am new on here and am looking for some advise. My daughter was diagnosed with AS and ADD in September of 05...so almost a year and a half ago. She is now in 2nd grade and soon turning 8 years old! From the time she was born she was always a very shy child, she would not talk to anyone. She used to go almost catitonic with certian men. She would freeze and look at one spot on the ground and not say anything or even breath some times. We always thought that was a bit wierd but we put it off as we lived in a very small community and she didnt get alot of socialzation as i was a stay at home mom and she didnt go to daycare. We really noticed there was something wrong when we moved across state away from her grandparents, who were pretty much her second parents. She started acting out very badly and throwning massive fits all the time. She would kick holes in her bedroom walls. She wasnt adjusting to the new school at all...i was on the phone with her 1st grade teacher pretty much everyday..she would tell me how she got her desk removed from the group and put in the corner so she would somewhat pay attention and stay on task, or how she would say things to the kids that were totally inapporiate just to get almost aceptance. So i brought her to our family doctor thinking maybe she had ADHD or something on that line, but the doctor immediatly suspected AS, as her son has it and she was able tonotice the signs right away. She sent us to a phycoligist who is specialized in AS and he put us through tons of testing and such and came out with the AS diagonsis. We continued going to him until our insurance ran out. We were able to get her approved for SSI which has help tremondously with the medical. So i went back to her school and talked to them and they started their testing to see if she was elligable for an IEP, which she wasnt because she was very smart and didnt need any extra help in anything. So luckly my mother in law is a teacher and has been through these meetings and told me about a 504 plan, which the school didnt bother to tell me about at all, so we got her set up on the plan which i believe is better than a IEP because by law the teachers all the way up through college have to follow this plan. And i think it will help her in the long run becaue it is designed to accomadate her and give her a level playing field to work with. Anyway, since all of this has fallen into place she has calmed down and finally gotten used to being away from grandma and grandpa and was starting to make new friends, and the teacher said that over the year she had changed night and day. I think that the move was so hard on her that she was acting out so bad...but now she is more used to it and is back on a schedual where she can relax a bit more. A few months ago we had to move again, to North Idaho, which was only about 75 miles from our old home. So once we knew we were moving we told her and she had about 4 months to get used to the idea and start saying her goodbyes at school. she was really excited about where we were moving. it was in the country on 5 acres and she didnt have to share her room any more with her little brother..since it was a bigger house. So when they day came to leave her old school, i went with her and brought a journal so she could get all her friends address and stuff..and she was so excited to move,,,she went around the whole school and said good bye to all the teachers and the principle. So now we are moved and we have been living here since the 1st of December and i have never see her SO happy. She can go out side when ever..and her dad had the winter off of work so she had daddy to play with all winter. Since we found out she had AS we have tried to impliment little things to help her...but honestly i think she has a very mild case of AS. She doesnt really have the obsessions. she mainly just is not good in public, she doesnt know how to act around people. she comes off as very immature. but she has a ton of friends in school and the teacher says she gets along with everyone and everyone loves her. she is a comedian in school..always trying to make someone laugh... ever since we found out she has AS we have tried to keep life as normal as possible. we dont want her feeling like she is different. So as of right now we are not doing any therapy, meds, anything. we treat her and disipline her just as we do her 5 year old brother. but i dont know what to do anymore...she just is so much to handle sometimes. Mainly when we have problems is when she is home for the weekend from school..it throws off her schedual and she acts absouletly horrible some times. she is very mean to her brother and picks on him all the time. and you have to tell her something about 30 times before she does it. if you tell her something she doesnt like then she will stomp around the house, slam her bedroom door and take it out on her brother. so i really dread the weekends now...i dont know what to do with her...i try to keep her intertained with crafts and playing out side and reading (which she loves) but as soon as that ends..she gets very mean towards everyone..and just acts out.
I have found myself almost favoring my son...more than her...because she is so difficute to deal with some times...and she takes it all out on her brother..so feel i have to protect him from her...mentally and physicaly...so now...i dont know ...i guess i am looking for some advice from anywhere on what i should do. I have read a ton of book on AS and i know alot about it...i guess i just dont know how to implimant it...so its easier right now to do nothing..and to just treat her like everyone else...but it obvisouly isnt working...but i dont know where to go from here...so any help whould be great! thanks...and sorry for such a LONG post! haha

sometimes the amount of information you get from books can be quite overwhelming....you just don't know where to begin...try to prioritize. for my son (who's 15 btw), i could pick and pick and pick all day the myriad of things that he needs to work on. i'd get lost in the list. instead we just focus on one or two things for now. right now our priorities for our son are getting him to bathe more often & trying to get him to reduce the amount of inappropriate comments he makes at school.
it is so overwhelming at first. hang in there

It is very overwhelmimg I find it hard to take my son to stores it always ends up in embarrasment. He is very sweet but can turn the other way like the flick of a switch. He has a full time student assistant in school to keep him on track other wise he would not cooperate most of the time. When i say no i am his punching bag it is hard, but he feels so much remorse it is like he cant help it when he has the agression. Some days he is good other days it very difficult, i also dread the weekends. We dont go anywhere as a family it is too stressful. Si i work and thats it then i come home and stay home, sometimes i wish we could all go on a vacation but that is not possible. He hates birthday parties, he doe not attend any it is too loud for him. He basically goes to school thats it. Then he comes home and plays quietly by himself or throughs a lot of temper tantums when he cant get his own way. Some days i am so stressed i sit and cry i dont know what else to do, He is seeing a behavior specialist but it has'nt helped much, he has a mind of his own and you cant change it, he is very head strong. I hope some of this info helps you i know it is tough. but we have to deal with it the best way we can. Feel free to pm me anytime i would like to share stories it helps so much to talk with someone who is going through the same as me.
Take Care