Would dd age 8 get a diagnosis and is it worth it?

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Hi everyone I am a new member living in the UK. I am a bit worried about my dd and think she may have an ASD but I am not sure if she would get a diagnosis and if it is worth trying to get one. The reason I think she may have ASD is that my adult sister and both her kids all got diagnosed several years ago and so I learned quite a lot about it then. I realised that myself and many members of my family (including my dh) have a lot of aspie traits, but we have all been able to cope fairly well and have never tried to get diagnosed. My sister sometimes says that things dd does remind her of her kids when they were younger.

I am a now feeling more worried about dd as she gets older, and thinking about the future. She does quite well at school, although she often says she doesn't like it and doesn't want to go. She is very quiet and shy there but well behaved. She likes to be with other children and have social contact. She often gets bored during the holidays if she is on her own, but she does sometimes seem to have problems with socialising and friends. She does have several good friends, however she often struggles with these friendships and recently she has said her friends said she was wierd or that they ran off and would not play with her or played tricks on her. In class she is doing reasonably well but she is struggling with maths and spelling. When I spoke to her teacher recently she told me that on a reading age test the kids recently took she got a very poor score as she had only completed about half the test although the part she did she did well on. It is also very hard for me to get her to do homework and study at home. However I think she is a clever girl in many ways and she is talented at art and quite musical.

Other problems she has which I believe may be possibly related to ASD is that she has tummy problems, including constipation and problems with her using the toilet. I have been seeing the dr about this for years but recently it seems to have flared up again and she is often having toilet accidents in the evening at home. I also have trouble getting her off to sleep and she is often up till 11pm recently so she is not really getting enough sleep but I am having a lot of trouble getting her into a good sleep routine.

Although she is quiet and well behaved with most people or more likely to go into a "sulk" if she is upset, I do end up having a lot of rows with her when we are by ourselves and she gets upset a lot. She is very perfectionistic and a bit unrealistic about what she can do and will get into a state if something she is doing goes wrong. At home she wants to be with me or her dad most of the time and does not even like going up to the toilet by herself. She gets very anxious about things and worries a lot. She is scared of the dark also. She is sensitive to loud noises and used to be scared of things like hand driers in public toilets and the blender and in cinemas, but she is getting a lot more confident about these things now but I still think she doesn't like loud noises much.

Other things that make me think she may have ASD but not really a problem in themselves is that she loves making birthday lists going through the catalogue and writing out a list of what she likes, she will do this over and over and she likes to collect make up and stationary and recently she has started displaying them in very neat displays and telling you what she has got, this is something she started doing since watching peoples make up and stationary collections on youtube she didn't really used to do this before although she has always liked collecting things.

As I say dd gets along fairly well at school and in class and she does seem to have friends and be quite happy most of the time, so I wonder if it would be possible to get her diagnosed even if I am pretty sure she is somewhere on the spectrum. Would it be worth talking to her school first to get more information on how she is behaving there. I have been reading about how hard it is to get a diagnosis and this puts me off a bit. My sister and family got a private diagnosis but I don't think I will be able to afford this at present.

A diagnosis is only worthwhile if you get something out of it. The sections that I've pulled out of your post indicate things that might possibly be related to ASD - and the one I would be most concerned about in an 8 year old is the social difficulty. I would start talking to her teachers about this, and see if it seems "normal" to them, or if she does seem to be struggling.

ASD is primarily a social communication disorder. If she could benefit from pragmatic speech classes and social skills classes at school, I'd ask for those - if they require a diagnosis to offer them, then you should go get a diagnosis. If they can offer them without, I'd focus on the possible co-morbid learning disabilities. These are not unusual with AS, for instance processing problems - you should ask the school about those as well - make sure they do a full assessment that covers LD. (Another issue is that she may not be understanding/processing instructions properly.)

I am guessing the stomach troubles are due to anxiety over social issues, (DS has that) although there are other possible explanations.

Thanks for your quick reply. I think I may go and talk to her teacher and see what she thinks about dds behaviour in class and with her friends at school. Then that will give me some more idea how dd is coping at school and also whether the school seems helpful.

Good luck!

Let me give you some key words and their definitions that might be helpful in that conversation:

Pragmatic speech: http://www.asha.org/public/speech/devel ... matics.htm

Developmental milestones for 8 year olds: http://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/ue5720

Hi there,

I wanted to let you know that for my DD a diagnosis was worth it. She was diagnosed at 14. I have always known she was on the spectrum but didn't feel the need for a diagnosis until she faced some very scary behavior. Her diagnosis helped her understand what was going on as well as allowed me to inform her school. She is going to have access to therapies that will help her through the rough teen years. I am in the process of getting my other 2 daughters evaluated as well.

Well, since she's only 8, it's possible she will start having more difficulty functioning later on. There are still several transitions coming up that can be a common time for a previously successful kid to start having issues:

At grade 3, school starts shifting from 'learning to read' to 'reading to learn', so mild reading comprehension difficulties can cause a kid to start falling behind.

In many regions either junior high school or high school involves a child independently managing a schedule to get to different classes in different parts of the school, and some kids struggle with this transition a lot.

Socially, 8-12 year olds, especially girls, often show more intense bullying and exclusion, which can cause issues for a kid who is somewhat unpopular or socially awkward.

Most adolescents begin feeling attracted to the other gender, and a few to the same gender. This requires them to learn a whole new set of social skills about how to express these feelings and recognize when others are feeling the same way about them. A kid who is a bit slower to learn social skills can struggle here.

In early adulthood, many kids go through a rapid learning curve regarding independent living and employment skills. A kid who is lagging behind in self-care and independence can seem fine as a teenager but flounder when living on their own.

You can deal with a lot of those without a diagnosis - many of us have. But in some cases a diagnosis can really help in preparing for the future and teaching the child what they'll need to know soon.

I advocate for having an assessment done. It gives you peace of mind and a plan for the future. Other things than AS might be at play here too.

I am saying this as my teachers were worried about me as a youngster and my aunt who is a teacher was worried about me as a teen. But my folks chose not to have me tested. When I was tested, it was during a time of fewer worries and I did not get diagnosed until my second test, last year. Getting assessed, even on the original test, gave me greater options for therapy and counseling to learn social and emotional skills. But people have not known as much as they know about AS until recently.

It can only help, even if only to give you peace of mind.

Your daughter sounds like a classic case of a passive subtype of Asperger's. Yes, it is definitely worth getting her assessed. With the NHS being what it is, be really sure that you get referred to a specialist in females with AS because females are still having a lot of problems getting their ASCs recognised as the diagnostic criteria were based on males and females do present a little differently.

She has many elements that sound exactly like my 11yo (even the getting catalogues out and writing birthday lists!).

Please do not understimate what a diagnosis can mean. Even if she seems to be managing now, you never know what she might need in the future and with a diagnosis she will have the legal protection of a recognised disability and be able to access help much easier. Do what is best for her future.

Also, once she hits puberty, you can be sure that all sorts of added problems will come into being. At the moment, she is primary age, once she has to go to secondary school she will find things a lot harder and this is when a lot of Aspies get serious problems. The socialising is much more intense as children hang around in groups being sarcastic etc. rather than running around the playground playing make-believe games. So whilst her socialising issues may not be so obvious now, that doesn't mean they will not become so. Having AS doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want to socialise, just that you have difficulties with it. And everyone on the spectrum has their own intensity of the traits, they aren't all at the same level, it's an individual thing.

It also sounds like there might be some academic support she needs and she will legally be able to get this with a diagnosis.

Does your daughter like things that are younger than others her age like? This will become more apparent as she gets older. She is also likely to have a lot of worries around puberty and periods.

She has an extremely strong genetic risk (http://www.autism.org.uk/24984) for it which they must take seriously. It even says in the NHS NICE Guidelines that having a sibling with an ASC should be considered an increased risk and you have many family members on the spectrum. I believe they call this a "multiplex family".

Don't be misled into thinking that really obvious socialising problems are the only red flag or that if she doesn't display severe issues in this area that she can't get a diagnosis.

Ask to be referred to the NAS Lorna Wing Centre (http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/d ... utism.aspx) as they specialise in females on the spectrum and how they present differently to males (http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/a ... ctrum.aspx).

Here are descriptions of the 4 subtypes of AS (a child/person can change between types and be combinations of types but from what you have said your daughter sounds the passive subtype):

Thank you everyone for all your helpful replies.