8 yo aspie can't let kids leave

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victorytea
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12 Jul 2013, 4:28 pm

When they play- even for 4-5 hrs, he has a fit when they leave. This happens even if the parents call the playmate to dinner. He ends up chasing kids away. I don't know how to help him and realize he wants friends so badly that when they leave- he feels rejected. Paul



momsparky
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12 Jul 2013, 4:45 pm

This may not just be because of kids leaving, but also because of the transition. Longer playdates may actually make this harder - even now, my son has a hard time transitioning out of anything that lasts longer than 3 hours (and he's 12)

You might try having a visual timer of some sort, first of all, and also pulling him out of the room before they leave and letting the other kids leave on their own a few times - you can make excuses like "he's kind of tired" to smooth it over with them. I don't think it will stop the meltdown, but it might at least make it more private.

A social story about playdates and how they end might also be helpful - sort of a first, then, then with obvious markers about the end of the playdate, like "after snack, the playdate is over and your friends will go home. You can say goodbye and then watch a video"



victorytea
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12 Jul 2013, 5:32 pm

Great advice- THANK YOU- Paul



ASDsmom
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12 Jul 2013, 6:32 pm

I agree.. my son has always had transitional issues and he's 12. Another thing that came to mind is the time factor. Try creating play dates that starts and ends at the same time every time.. and then work from there. I also found if I created the rules.. ie: your friend can ONLY stay over from 4-5pm, he was much more accepting because he knew the kids left because of me vs because "they didn't want to play with him anymore".

Just an idea.



DW_a_mom
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13 Jul 2013, 1:37 pm

I think the suggestions above are all good.

I do want to point out that lots of kids, not just ASD ones, have versions of this problem.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).