Advise for Sibling with AS Sibling

Post Reply New Topic

What can I do to help a sibling over the age of 50 who has AS traits? He does not work. Has no car. No Job. Lives with parents. He does not have SSI.

He has an EE Degree and is very smart.

- If he does not ask for help let him be?
- I am sure someone will ask why I think he needs help.

I think he needs to plan for his future. Either a job or SSI.

Wow. Over 50 and that dependent on his parents? Probably too late now.

Let me first say that I am not a lawyer, a physician, or a mental health professional. This is only the experiences I have had with SSA after 40 years of work experience (from a dishwasher to a computer software and hardware support technician, an analyst for contractors to the US Department of Defense, and a librarian and a musician).

Has he been seen by a so-called "mental health professional?"

Has he ever had a job in the past 30 to 35 years? If he has, he may or may not be eligible for SSDI, provided he is diagnosed with some other "so-called" co-morbid mental condition, as Asperger's and/or Autism alone is not considered to be a disability by SSA.

Are your parents "in their full faculties" to assist him or you in obtaining help for himself?

Will he even ask anyone for help, or is he as stubborn as most of the Pennsylvania German (read old-order Amish or old-order Mennonite) population that live in south central and south eastern PA?

Your best bet would be to talk to an attorney that specializes in both Developmental disability and Social Security Law in your local area.

In addition, once he has a diagnosis, and if and only if he is willing to work, he can apply through your state's office of vocational rehabilitation for assistance with job training, employment coaching, etc.

If he refuses to cooperate, I would still speak to an attorney to see chat other options are available.

No matter what your course of action might be, be aware that with SSDI, he may or may not be denied after the initial application. It may take up to a year to have his appeal heard by SSA if he or his representative decide to appeal. Be prepared for a longer wait, now that Sequestration has taken hold at the Federal level.

You've said it yourself; he's an adult, and he's living with his parents.
It's not your role as his sibling to do anything for him other than love him as your brother.
If your parents had an issue with this it's up to them to raise it with him.
Just make sure -without being patronising - that you are there and available to help if he needs it, but will not try to plan his life for him.
If he wants any more than his parents can do for him, it's really up to a professional to assist, but you can certainly be a support person if and when he needs it.

I guess a bigger issue is your parents: have you talked to them about it? Sounds to me like you are worried that their assumption is that you will take over your brother's care, and you have legitimate concerns about that.

It may well be possible that your parents have provided for him in other ways, but just haven't seen the need to share with you about it.

If he is dependent on others, you should think of, that his parents will mostly die a big amount of time before his brother, and then as a brother he will be the one, his brother is dependetn on. So I think as long as the AS-brother has no other plan for the future "after" his parents, beside "Aw...my brother will then take care of me..." its normal that his brother has his thoughts about this. Now. Because he needs to know now, if he must save for two peoples rent. He needs to know now, if he needs a flat or house with a room extra... He needs to know now, if he will need to pay two health insurances... When his parents die and his brother suddenly stands knocking on its door, its too late to make plans for it. ^^

So yeah, after being the one who will be responsible for an depending relative, after his parents died, I think its correct to ask how the person thinks about the time after the parents died.