Son expelled from summer camp.

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So, my son (5) was expelled from summer camp this week. He has Selective Mutism and doesn't talk there, and would have meltdowns if he couldn't have his needs met, or due to the excessive noise/chaos/external stimuli, and if they'd "punish" him by taking away his special interest (Legos). He was accepted to a new camp next week (Lego themed), but I'm afraid the same type of thing will happen since the special interest stuff only happens in the AM and they do physical activity in the afternoon.

He really didn't have problems during the schoolyear, and the problems that have arisen since (again) since summer camp have carried over into the home environment as well. I am a single parent and can't just quit working, but I also can't neglect his care and need to get him help. What do people even do to solve these problems? How do you juggle work and parenting a child with special needs? I've used all my paid time off going to pick him up when someone else couldn't 'handle' him.

Yeah we had these problems with me growing up in schools and whatnot. I was not Asperger's, but a more profound sort of autistic. Have you considered a camp that is geared toward autistic kids, or speaking to them beforehand before finding a new place?

Advocating is very very important and it is imperative that you write everything down. Remember that you already know what the issue is, what triggers it, and that they are there to help you, the customer, rather than to do other stuff. If it carries over into the home environment then that means that stuff like noise and chaos are carrying into the home environment.

Also this is not a discipline issue so the word 'expelled' is very loaded. The issue is that they did not know what the issues were - or if they did they did not provide adaptations that would help him succeed. Remember that your kid cannot help the way his body reacts to the situation and it's not 'psychological', any more than a lactose intolerant person can suddenly consume dairy.

When my daughter was younger, I was able to get her school services extended over the summer. Her 1:1 aide from school went with her to summer camp. The justification we used is that she would experience significant regression over the summer without continuation of her services.

I totally get you on the single parent thing. I am a single parent to two right now, both with special needs. I never have a drop of time in my PTO bank and I never get to take a day off for me. It is always somehow related to the kids and caring for the kids. There have been times that I have worried I would lose my job due to all of the unanticipated absences.

It stinks.

When both of my kids were younger, especially my son, I sent them places with what basically amounts to an instruction manual. If he starts to do this....it probably means that...the most effective way to handle this is to..., etc. Could you do something like this?

I also like to use legal phrases and words when speaking to programs like this, such as "reasonable accommodations" and "having access to the same programs as her non-disabled peers." They would never dream of discriminating against a blind child who needed help moving from room to room even though they don't do that for every other child. You need to make sure they understand your child has a disability and requires special help, just like a blind or wheelchair-bound child does.

Good luck.

Yep. If you are in the U.S., you can call the ADA (American Disability Act) hotline. They will tell you what your legal rights are. Just google it and call. My older son has a life threatening peanut allergy, and we have had issues with both camps and preschool trying to shut him out. After school programs too. They did not want to take responsibility for his condition and gave me the option of 'hoping for the best' or not sending my son. It is illegal (in the U.S.) to deny a child admission, or expel a child based on a disability and the program is legally required to offer reasonable accommodations. Reasonable in my son's case included the camp/ afterschool staff be trained for symptoms of his allergy, be trained to use the medication, offer him a peanut free lunch table. In your child's case, it would be a behavior plan. You can have your child's doctor write up a reasonable plan.

In our area many ABA and speech therapy places offer summer camps. They do tend to be more expensive, though. Some places like YMCA and JCC offer trained assistants for kids with disabilities. My last thought is to hire a babysitter instead of going to camp.

Summer camp seems geared toward super normal, able bodied middle class kids and nothing else. That's the impression I get. And the counselors seem like they wouldn't tolerate anything else.

There were many years I had to carefully hire one-on-one, in home care. In other words, a nanny. Which can end up costing more than you net after taxes ... tough choices, but we did what we had to do.

In time, things did change and we figured out what my son needed in a summer camp, and were able to find ones that met those needs. And now he is old enough to work and get paid for working at summer camps .... he also volunteers sometimes at a daycare, and apparently there is a young autie who has really taken to him Must of recognized the kindred spirit My son has mixed feelings about it (other auties can annoy him), but he takes his job seriously

Who is running the summer camp? If it is your municipality or state government, they usually offer supports for children with special needs - and they should NOT "expel" a child (especially whose mother is WORKING!) for their failure to meet the child's needs. I hope you weren't paying for the camp, and if you were that you got a full refund, as the responsibility was with the camp to provide for your child's needs. I know our town has both special needs camps for high-need kids, and offers aides for kids who can access the other camps.

A lot of times you can find resources at your local autism society, your local department of human services, etc. You can hire an advocate to act on your behalf since you are a working parent. You're going to have to spend time on both the internet and at home hunting down some help, but they should be helping you.

I am sure you can use the law to force accommodations, but I don't know... My son has played soccer each year and attended soccer day camp each year since age 6 (so 6 years.) This year he has started getting rude with the other kids and distracted when the coaches talk to him. The coaches got irritated a few times last week during day camp and he got teased by the other kids a bit and just generally avoided toward the end of the week due to his oddness in social interactions. I'm considering that he doesn't actually have to do soccer if it's going to be hard.

We are going to try some sort of individual sport, and in fact since he's turning 12 soon he'll be able to join my fitness club and he might like that, although waiting in line for machines and not crashing in to other patrons or being too loud will be hard for him, so I don't know. Two years ago when he was still trying to do basketball I hired a kid to coach him and that one on one was great. So maybe in the future I can hire a sort of traditional gym class coach or something, somebody to get him moving and get him some exercise without there being other kids around and without there being a team sport involved.

I've already done the same sort of things for other "camp" activities, such as art class. He often has art class once per week. It works better than day camp since it's shorter, has fewer kids at a time, and more one on one attention.

It IS harder driving him to a shorter class instead of just having a day camp where I can drop him off for a few hours at a time. I like the idea of finding a camp for kids on the spectrum for your son. Good luck!