AS children's obssesive routines

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Can anyone share some information with me about their AS child Having Obssesive Routines and throwing temper tantrums because something has changed.

when son was little, he'd panic if you moved a car out of his line of cars~i thought i was being great, playing cars with him...he though i was horrible because i had moved a car. he also hated it if his breakfasts weren't the same, if we went to the store on a different day, if we drove to the store a different way...too many memories to recount

Its amazing how these children are so much alike, Aaron has to have bath time the exact time every night, and won't bathe if it is still light outside. His breakfasts are always the same as well, and so are his lunches that i pack for him for school. He also hates it when i move his toys or anything of his out of place, he has his own little place for everything. He also collects odd things and takes an attachment to them, things such as bottle caps, rocks,sticks ,a piece of plastic,hooks usually anything that has no real significance but he finds it fascinating. He also would freak if we took the wrong way to go to a store. He will only wear socks that have the rim on the inside sewn with golden thread. He doesnt want to part with his favorite clothes even thoght he has outgrown them, he still trys to wear them. It is hard when we get him dressed for school , can you imagine how the kids would tease him if he went to school with his pants over his ankles. I could go on but i dont have much time right now.

This is an interesting topic to me. My oldest son, now 20, and an undiagnosed Aspie, was very much like the aforementioned children have been described. For a couple of years in middle school, he wore black EVERY DAY! He also would go through periods where one year he would only eat ham sandwiches for lunch for a whole year. The next year he would only eat pizza for his lunch for a whole year. When he was younger, he hated the tags in the necks of his shirts. He still has little quirks, but he's really turned out to be a great kid, with lots of friends. I think the key is he now knows how to pick friends who enjoy his quirks.

My youngest son, 10, who's diagnosed PDD-NOS, has had MUCH FEWER quirks. I don't know if it's just the way the way he is, but we really very purposely made sure that we mixed up his world so that there WAS NO ROUTINE. Granted, he didn't get very upset if we changed things around, so I wasn't dealing with meltdowns. But we never drove the same route anywhere -- always tried to go a different way, eat at different restaurants, have different dinners at home, have bath time at 6:00 pm, then the next day have bath time at 8:00 pm. He got used to to the constant changes, which made going to elementary school much easier. This son is more affected with AS than my older son, but he adjust to change fairly well. His problems seem to center around trying to socialize (he's pretty good, but not he's still not comfortable with socializing) and the fact that he's very innocent for his age.

Kris

Hi again, it is so nice to talk to someone who is dealing with the same as me. I live in a small town of about 1500 people in nfld. and i dont know of another child who is diagnosed with aspergers so it is quite difficult to go it alone. Although i do have some help from the behavoral specialist in this area which is great but it doesnt help with everything. It is so funny my son hates the tags on his shirt as well, and he is also so innocent for his age sometimes he acts just like a little toddler in my arms and stuff, i love him dearly just the way he is but some people perceive him as being unruly and defiant and just plain bad i know different, so i find myself explaining my situation over and over again. When you spoke about trying to keep things not on routine, did your little boy have tantrums and get very angry, mine does and i know it is wrong but some times it is so much easier just to give in because there are times when he would tantrum and be very physical with me for along peiod of time and that is hard.
Also i was curious is your child medicated mine is. You dont have to answer that question if you feel it is too personal i will understand.
I hope to talk with you again. Take Care

Diana

Our son was so into his routines at one point it very nearly ruled the household. Two years ago, to go to a different restaurant for dinner it took 6 weeks of planning - driving by the restaurant, marking the date on the calendar, looking at the website, parking in the parking lot, going in to pick up a menu, etc. Dinner turned out fine.

Two years later, we can tell him saturday afternoon we're going to dinner at the new place in town, and his only concern is if they don't have anything he likes to eat will we force him to order anyway (no).

For us, it was a process of unwinding him. We never pushed him to the point of meltdown. I only wish we'd had a dx years before.

2 years after dx and DS is doing extremely well, only one or two accomodations in school, he's wearing jeans and lace sneakers (that was a long road) and is actually pretty popular with some kids - including a girl - something new here recently.

daisydiana,

My son did NOT have big meltdowns, I have to admit. I don't know how great I would be at mixing up the routine all of the time if he had had big meltdowns. But, I also could see how he clung to some routines, and I knew that our life is a constant changing environment (we've moved a lot), and so I knew even before he was diagnosed that we needed to mix things up a lot so that he didn't get too used to one way of doing things.

And yes, he has been taking one or another form of Ritalin since he was eight. It has been a very positive experience.

aspiesmom1, I think you have probably done things much like we have, and I'm glad to hear that your son is doing so well (even popular with a GIRL!). My son is VERY young for his age, very innocent, and it seems as if the other kids are WAY OLDER acting than he is, but even with that differentiation, he's doing fairly well at school, socially. He's doing great academically.

Kris

Dear Kris,

My son is on 2 types of ritalin, it scared me at first but it has proven to be very effective in Aaron being more gentle and relaxed and focused especially on schoolwork without his medication he would be climbing the walls so to speak and he would be so hyper that he would tire himself as well as me to a point of feeling very exausted.
He seems to act so much more immature than kids his own age and that becomes a problem at times.His obsessions do change at times he goes on to new ones and drops some old ones but it seems there is always a certain obsession with a game or a toy or the same book every night for like a month.He is very good at computer and video games some of his games are rated 13 years and he is 8 and has been playing it since he was 6.

To Aspiesmom1,
It does my heart good to hear that your child even has a girl it leads me to believe that there is some hope for mine in the future, because i often think about his future and where he will be , it is so scary because right now my life revolves around him, and he doesn't go out of my sight other than school.

Take care Diana

Believe me, it is TERRIFYING that he is interested in a girl and her in him!! Hubby had to have the long talk with him the other night, and I feel like he's slipping away in other ways now - he has this other life I have to ask about!

He's always been independent - at 4 he was home with the chicken pox with a sitter while hubby and I went to an appt we couldn't miss. We came home to find the police at our home. DS had given sitter the slip because she wouldn't feed him, took out his bike and rode out to the quikie mart on the corner of the highway and asked the lady behind the counter for breakfast! Of course she called the police about this pox covered little boy wandering the highway on his own!

Since then he's always ridden his bike through the neighborhood (within a restricted zone!!) with no problem.

He will still regress from time to time if something happens unexpectedly and he'll lose his coping skills. He was screamed at by a guy in a store recently when he found the guy's cell phone on a shelf and was trying to make it ring to get the owner's attention. That was a long night.

One of Ryans obsessions is lebels on clothing. He really goes mental about labels and when you cut them of he says he can still feel them.
Every morning we re enact the same ritual, he comes downstairs at 7am and i say what do you want for breakfast son?? and he puts his head on one side and goes ermmm what have we got mum?
So I answer same as every morning we have cornflakes, weetabix, rice crispies, ready brek or toast.
So he thinks for a second and says ermm can i have biscuits this morning and i say no you need a proper breakfast so he says okay i will have toast.
This same ritual is played out every morning and has done for the last 6 months.
The collars on school polo shirts are another quirk, i always say come here son and let me tidy your collar up, the minute your hands touch his neck area he literally squirms and yells.
He also does the same when he has his hair cut.
His other recnt ocd is the tv at bedtime, he will put it on channel 7 or 8 were there is nothing tuned in and fall asleep to black and white dots and buzzing.

Your other post mentioned that your son is being bullied alot right now - they have shown in a study that bullying increases OCD so it may very well be the same for obsessiveness and need for sameness in AS even if he does not have an official diagnosis of OCD.