Decisions! Decisons!

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My child refuses to make a decision, she will bend over backwards to give everyone else an opportunity to decide things, even in cases when it has nothing to do with anyone else.

She can't decide what to eat or when to eat it. She can't decide blue or red. She can't decide if she would like to swim or dance. She can't decide if she would like to watch this program or that etc

I always thought that it had something to do with fear of disappointing others, but the more I see, the more I realise she is incapable of making simple decisions about much of anything and to be honest, I do not get it.

I operate on the belief that she can do what she wants to do, and make every effort to get her to make her own decisions (even if it is painful for her) and do a cheerleading like " I know you can do it" chant, but I am at a loss otherwise.

Anyone else having these struggles? How are you coping

when I was young I could never make up my mind, on anything! Retail clerks usually got impatient with me. Luckily I grew out of it.

This is an odd one because I am both extreams.In some things I know exactly what I want...those pare of pants or that rock....no problem deciding...other things I simply can not "imagine' or project myself in to a decission.Do I want that...what would it taste like feel like?Do I want to do that....I cant see myself doing it so I dont know.If I try and do the process intellectually it is even worse....I can think of fifty bad things that might happen and a few good things(but live experience has fewer files of positives for me..Most people making decisions either have a set pattern that they follow(aspies can be black and white thinking)or they can be spontaneous....because nothing to bad will come of their decission.If you have bad experiences with making choices,it sticks in your mind more then the times that things went good or nutral....thats how memories are stored.....bad experiences are burned into the brain and other experiences are lightly etched.

This is still a problem for me that drives others nuts(but I dont know why,dont they like making decisions?)Sometimes I cant think of what I want but can think of what I dont want...."would you like pizza to night?"...."No,to greasy"..."How about Mexican"..."I cant ,I have a job interview tomorrow and cant risk being gassy"...eventually my boyfriend picks something we can both agree on.(He is a very patient saint and easy going in temperament).

I dont know how strong your daughters interests are but mine were pretty narrow when younger.If mom asked if I wanted to take the clarinet or flute....I would likely be thinking...I would rather look in the woods for fossils and arrowheads or read(those werent the options but the only things that followed the words...."would you like.......?)I should have had a bumper sticker on my tricycle that said...."I would rather be reading".Aren't we aspies fun to raise?If she is not a teen yet,you are in for a real treat...