DS want friends. What can I do?

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DS8 is in a special ed school for kids with AS. Last year there were 7 students in the entire school, only 3 are returning and 2 new kids are joining. The problem us that he says he is lonely at school and there is no one to play with during recess (held at a local park) The staff tells me that DS is the most chatty and outgoing of all the kids. The others tend to be either in their own heads or fixated on their own topics. I went to a beach day and observed he wasn't interacting with the other kids at all. We tried a couple of play dates with the kid most like DS, but it went badly and DS said he just doesn't feel that friendship feeling.

We tried riding bikes with neighbor kids on two occasions, but DS didn't really interact at all, and resists trying again. He doesn't know how to make friends or join in if we go to a park. He tends to be very hot or cold on people, and doesn't get the idea that it takes time to get to know someone and have a friendship grow.

He wants someone to play minecraft with, and I think at the park/recess he would like to play things like tag and pirates. How can I help him?

my almost 8yo would love to play minecraft with him!! !

Are there any other special ed school's /classes for kids with asperger in your area? Perhaps this one isn't socially or intellectually challenging enough for your son? Aspie school sounds great in theory, but because autism is a spectrum it might not work in practise

Just keep trying. Maybe get involved in extra cur activities to be exposed to more kids. We've found some NT kids who are great with my son, but it took a long time from when I was in your shoes.

We have Autism/Asperger social groups but we are in a large city. Maybe you could find one or even start one. Kids from universities who have some training and want to work in these fields will often volunteer to help. My daughter has done things like swimming, painted pottery parties, and trips to zoos. She did not initially like participating because I dropped her off but she got more comfortable the more she did these activities.

What about scouting or even local sports teams like little league baseball or pop warner football? Maybe clubs for things he's interested in? Video games on Xbox live maybe?

If you are religious at all, maybe things through your church could be an option. You don't even have to be especially religious, just have religion or denomination that you don't really strenuously disagree with and can tolerate and don't mind your kid learning about and start going there and then sign up for stuff. Find a church or temple that has lots of activities for kids.

Also, the YMCA used to have things as well for kids.

I'd try lots of little things like that and see if he hits it off with somebody. Not a lot at once, but try one for a while then if it doesn't work try something else.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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His school situation may change within the next year. Currently we're paying for the AS school out of pocket (15k/yr). They've done great getting him to remain calm and behave well, but seem weak on the academics (for instance only doing reading 3 days a week). We're meeting with one of the top advocates in the region to try and get the school district to pay for his education, and he said there's only a 50/50 chance of keeping him there. More likely he will be moved to a special day class in a regular school, and the advocate will work to make sure it is high-functioning and general ed curriculum. Or we will decide to pull him out and homeschool. I suck at arranging play dates and making them successful, so even with homeschool, finding friends is still going to be an issue.

I'm thinking cub scouts and Sunday school may be our best bet for seeing the same group of kids over and over. (I grew up going to a mainstream protestant church but haven't attended regularly for about 20 years.) The problem with classes at the YMCA is that they are over after 8 weeks and you don't see the kids outside of the class or ever after it is over.

Does he have any intense interests? Are there any clubs in his area on that topic?

He has pretty typical interests for a boy his age -- star wars, minecraft, Legos, wii video games -- but talks more intensely and single-mindedly than his peers. There aren't really clubs at age 8, mostly classes and sports. He can'/won't follow the coach's instructions well enough to be on a sports team.

There's a company that does after-school Lego classes. I'm considering either signing DS up for one or hosting one in my home and recruiting home-schoolers.