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Metal_Man
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09 Feb 2007, 8:02 pm

Can any aspie parents with NT children give me some pointers on relating to my son? My son is 11 and I am finding it harder and harder to do things with and relate to him. I have my interests and they don't match my son's interests. It is very difficult for me to relate to anything that I am not interested in. I hated doing kid things when I was a kid but my son loves to do all of the things I hated doing. I don't care if adults get pissed off because I have no interest in them but this is my son and it is really bothering me. I have put a lot of effort into being more involved with him but lately it just doesn't seem to be working.


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voss749
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10 Feb 2007, 2:06 pm

In order to answer your question I need to know...

What are YOUR interests?

What are HIS interests?



Metal_Man
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10 Feb 2007, 8:59 pm

My interests are hunting, fishing, biking, history and work. His interests are video games, board games, movies, Legos. He is not into sports much but does like to play them for fun. When I do things it is an all or nothing situation. I like to spend all day doing one thing like fishing or biking. He prefers to do many things for shorter periods of time. Having to shift gears throughout the day is very difficult for me. Playing games of any kind just bores me to tears. I try to show interest in them but I cannot keep up a facade of interest for more than a few minutes.


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Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.


voss749
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11 Feb 2007, 12:38 am

Movies...

You like history he likes movies...

Gladiator
The Patriot
The time machine (19th century setting)
Apollo 13

Something historical with lots of action.
War movies seem to be popular with boys.

Im sure there are other examples.

Make some popcorn, order some pizzas.



Metal_Man
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11 Feb 2007, 12:45 pm

Thanks for tha advice but I'm afraid that won't quite work. I find historical based movies annoying because Hollywood always gets the history wrong and that really irritates my Aspie brain. He likes comedies and kid type movies. I can watch those once or twice a year but not much more than that. I will try to find some movies that we might both be able to enjoy. If you have any more ideas I would love to know what they are.


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Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.


mikibacsi1124
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11 Feb 2007, 6:36 pm

These seem more like "adult vs. kid" differences rather than "AS vs. NT". Someone your age can't really expect to share a lot of interests with someone that age. You're better off trying to connect with him on an emotional level. It's good to try and get familiar with what he's interested in, and if you do find some common ground, great. But it won't do much good to dwell on the differences.

As a side note: unlike you, I was very much interested in "kid things" as a kid, and even now at age 22, my interests are decidedly less "adult" than those of most of my peers. I guess you could say that a common trait with aspies is that interests tend to stick throughout their lives.



scampies1
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16 Feb 2007, 12:17 pm

You have to learn how to give of yourself without it always being on your terms. Remember, you are the parent. Dedicate 1 hour per day doing somthing with your son that he is interested in. As he matures he will start to appreciate the interests you have. When he grows up he will cherish the time you devoted to him Trust me.



Metal_Man
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17 Feb 2007, 12:28 pm

Thanks everyone for the advice. I explained to my son what AS is (I am newly diagnosed) and why it is not easy for me to do things like other dads. He seemed to understand and has been making an effort to suggest things that I might like. I have been making an effort to do the things he likes as well. It is not easy but it is a start.


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Can't get it right, no matter what I do, guess I'll just be me and keep F!@#$%G up for you!
It goes on and on and on, it's Heaven and Hell! Ronnie James Dio - He was simply the greatest R.I.P.