Really confused now - HELP!

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My son has been doing great. He is in a small special integrated program for Kindergarten that mixes ASD kids with Gen Ed kids. He had to be administered the ADOS to confirm that he qualified as an ASD diagnosis/category to enter the program. He has been thriving and really enjoying going to school--or at least no fighting about it when it's time to go!

That being said, the ABA therapist who has worked with both my boys, who has worked with ASD kids some approx 30 years, believes that my son is not ASD. Her view is that he simply has "behavioral problems and sensory problems" and his behavioral problems stem from the fact that he's an emotional sponge (and the insinuation being he picks up on my anxiety or stress) and has severe sensory issues that stem from allergies and skin sensitivies. I asked how then could he have tested positive for an ASD on the ADOS and she responded that "some kids have off days."

I'm in a sense, reeling. What do you make of this? What in the world do I do about this?!

Get a Second Opinion

Mikkassyna, what you describe is why I have a very low of doctors; I have rarely received what I have paid for. In fact, it's a shame doctors don't have the same work ethic and display the same conscientiousness as my minimum-wage employees, who make about one percent as much as your average doctor.

I will say though that, contrary to what some will say here, in some cases autism is an immune system issue. I know since I am one of them. I suffer from extreme, debilitating allergies. When they are at their worst, so is my autism, and vice versa.

I've already sworn to myself that if I get seriously ill, I am heading down to Mexico for my medical treatment. It couldn't possibly be worse than the care up here, and at a tiny fraction of the cost. It's a real shame, but that's the world we live in.

Get a second opinion.

Luckily I didn't pay for the ADOS test. The Dept of Education had their psychologist administer the test. I asked the ABA therapist (not a doctor, but who knows my kids VERY well!) why would a psychologist from the DoE determine that my son has ASD if he doesn't? She (who also works for the DoE) said "because he would do very well in the program and that would make them look good." This makes absolutely no sense to me, and I feel like the rug has been swept away from beneath my feet. I asked her, "Well then what about his lining up objects, spinning wheels..." and she replied, "Sensory issues."

She also thinks that it is why she also believes my diagnosis of Asperger's is incorrect, based upon those observations, knowing that I suffer terrible eczema and other allergies.

So, I'm still trying to figure out whether I should trust the psychologist/ADOS (yes ASD) results or the ABA therapist's opinion (no ASD).

I hate answers that are no answers. I need a real answer! I am experiencing terrible anxiety right now and want to SCREAM!! !

This is not a diagnosis I have heard of.
Perhaps it's in the BSM-V? (Bovine Scatalogical Manual)

In any case, it must be a relief to know that the problem is not that you are a refrigerator mother, but rather that you are a pressure cooker mother. It's so important that we get our home-appliances right when we are analyzing things this way.

Don't believe a word this person says and cross check everything with an experienced diagnostician.

My youngest has asthma, allergies, and near constant eczema rash. He has sensory issues that seriously interfere with his ability to enjoy the world. His autistic symptoms are at their worst when he is being pushed out of his sensory comfort zone and his medical issues are acting up. His worst meltdown ever was during a serious asthma attack at a campground--that was a lot of fun (sarcasm) trying to get his rescue inhaler into him during the meltdown.

I believe that those things will influence and make autistic behaviors worse. I mean does anyone cope particularly well when they have a miserable, itchy rash, stuffed up head, can't breath, and are surrounded by what they are experiencing as fireworks going off all around them on ground level while they have no way to escape or even try to block it out? I don't think so. So, of course, the symptoms are worse when his medical and sensory issues are triggered.

The thing is A LOT of kids have asthma, allergies, and eczema. Do they suddenly act autistic when their treatment plan isn't working? A LOT of otherwise NT kids have sensory issues without a single other symptom of autism. There are even kids who have asthma and sensory issues while having no other autistic symptoms. Those things might exacerbate the symptoms, but they aren't going to create them.

My cynical first impression of the situation is that your son is being difficult (not disparaging your son here), the therapist is doing what she normally does when kids are being difficult, and it isn't working. Being a typical NT, she is refusing to admit that perhaps the problem is with her (maybe something about her triggers this difficult behavior, maybe she needs a new strategy for coping with it, whatever), and blaming the victim. (**he simply has "behavioral problems and sensory problems" and his behavioral problems stem from the fact that he's an emotional sponge (and the insinuation being he picks up on my anxiety or stress) and has severe sensory issues that stem from allergies and skin sensitivies.**) In this case, I am saying that whatever behavior he is giving her, he is the victim of her blame, because she is paid and trained to cope with the behavior and redirect it to something positive and she is failing. Is that the fault of a five or six year old child? Who is the supposedly professional adult?

I've been around too many nasty "professionals" and just can't help reading her comments in a snide tone that just irritates me to no end.

ROFL! Thanks for the laughs--I love the BSV-V! I say you should write a whole spoof on that!
Yes, a pressure cooker, that's for sure. I have to ask my husband to stick a thermometer in me and check on my temperature reading. I need to get an accurate assessment on what to do with any meat that goes inside. LOL!
Oops, maybe that was too naughty of me to say here

Mykassyna, my diagnosis consisted of asking a psychiatrist I saw briefly about five years ago how she would diagnose me. She got as irritated as if I had asked her how often she bathed, blurted out Asperger Syndrome, and went on with what she was saying--as if this diagnosis was not important.

Well, since I haven't--and won't--have all of the elaborate testing done, I've had a few wags on here tell me it's not for sure if I have AS. Actually, I don't care. What is important is that I can relate to the things people say on this site, as well as the literature about AS, and have gotten infinitely more from that than all the doctors combined in terms of self-improvement. What I'm getting at is that if ASD symptoms describe your child, and your child responds well to the advice you learn at places like this, does it really matter how some overpaid primadonna diagnoses your child? It seems to me that the important thing is whether your child improves.

Good luck to you, and I hope you don't let it upset you too much.

What is a wag?

The only thing I could find in the dictionary is
"11.
a person given to droll, roguish, or mischievous humor; wit. "

Doesn't sound to me like a humorous thing to say to you.

I'm not sure why or who here would feel qualified to opine about your diagnosis if one was given by a professional. I guess given people criticize professionals who don't give ASD diagnoses, it just makes sense that the opposite would be true too. I think I'm beginning to feel dizzy from all this.

I guess what it comes down to, is if my child has behavioral problems due to my parenting/display of stress and not because of an ASD, then I deserve to beat myself up right now even more than I already do.

No, the people on here who diagnose others aren't wits or humorous in my opinion. But they sure seem to think they are. Connotatively, wag is normally used as a pejorative or sarcastically.

Again, I would worry less about nomenclature in favor of a utilitarian/pragmatic approch that concentrates on what works for both you and your child. As Shakespeare said, a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. Names aren't as important as essences. And what is essential is that which helps.

Nor would I beat myself up. All any parent can do is their best, and being as concerned as you are strongly suggests that you are doing your best. My theory is that this idea that no parent can properly rear their children is the modern, liberal version of the old Christian doctrine of original sin. It originates in Sigmund Freud's belief that it was impossible for parents to raise their children without imparting at least some neuroses--the ultimate in parental guilt since at least Christian parents understood they weren't responsible for their children's state of original sin, and that it could be expunged through baptism. I think at base imperfect parents aren't going to have perfect children, and we need to be okay with that.

When in doubt or dealing with a borderline case, I think the question to ask is simple:

What theory results in the best protocols for dealing with your child?

If he is thriving under an ASD diagnosis and program, then KEEP IT. Her opinion is just that, an opinion. You knew in your heart that he needed something "more" than he was getting, and the diagnosis is what you found. Has it helped, or does it seem to make little difference? I really would not care "why" someone was willing to call it wrong for my child if calling it "wrong" was putting my child on a positive path. Results matter more than labels. So, how are you feeling about the results?

My issue with her suggestions is that they may mean little more help. If the help hasn't worked, then fine, see what roads they take you down. But if the help is working, then why change course? Wouldn't you work to control the skin issues and the allergies regardless of whether or not you have an ASD diagnosis? Wouldn't you try to help your child with his emotional needs regardless? So, what gets added if you follow her theories?

My son is, I believe, a borderline case. Always has been, always will be. But I am CONVINCED he is ASD, talk to him for any length of time and you will see clear evidence of ASD ways of thinking, but more importantly having him treated as such has allowed him to THRIVE. I really don't think we'd be where we are if he hadn't had the supports and protocols designed for ASD. I have so much gratitude to our school system for being willing to issue him the IEP and call it. I have told them that regularly, in the hopes that they will never, ever, hesitate to bring in questionable cases if that is what a family wants.

Labels are, ultimately, a means to an end. Nothing more.

Is the ABA therapist someone you are contracting with privately? Are you happy with her work other than this commentary? It is an option to tell her that you are presently happy with your child's current diagnosis and that you would prefer she just treat him as an ASD case, regardless of her misgiving, until notified otherwise (You know but with nicer language) If she refuses to do so, then get someone else. If whatever she does seems colored by her non-qualified diagnosis, then get someone else.

There are many flavors of autism and even with her 30 years of experience she may just not have seen your child's particular flavor before. As Dw_a_mom says, if what is being done works, who cares if she has issues with the diagnosis itself. It does not matter.

In addition sensory issues are a big part of an AU diagnosis and I really doubt she can distinguish a sensory disintegration disorder from AU, and even if she could, again, who cares if the ABA and other treatments are working. If they aren't working you can revisit it.

I have never used ABA for my son, so I don't know specifically how what she is saying would influence her therapy. If she is treating anxiety, does it matter if she disagrees as to what the root of it is?

Kathy Hoopmann's Inside Asperger's Looking Out leads with sensory issues.

Similar to what others have said - she is an ABA specialists. She sees kids who are helped with ABA. My son is borderline Aspie, and would never need ABA. On any good day, she might think my son is NT.

My thought is that most of her experience is with children who are on the more severe side of the spectrum, and she is unconsciously comparing him to them.