Another gun and school question

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Hi,

Didn't want to hijack the other thread.

My son is nine and in 4th grade at a private school. Last week on the school bus he told another kid he was going to shoot them with a gun. The school gave him a consequence for the week, totally appropriately, but also kicked him off the bus for the rest of the semester. That means I or his dad has to drive him 30-45 mins each way. We chose this school because they have a lot of a spies and are very familiar with different learning styles.

I think being kicked off the bus for such a long time is overkill and not likely to teach him anything. He is not a threat and we had his psychologist write a letter to the school supporting this. He also has verbal impulsivity and does not think through consequences. I am convinced it will happen again.

We have a meeting on Thursday with the head master to discuss this. Any ideas for how we can get them to let him back on the bus?

Thanks,

I think a lot of this will depend on what is in the shrink's letter. If your home is gun-free that would be a good case to make as well. If you know he does not associate with anyone who has a gun in his/her home that might help also. (Not a comment on gun owners--so please do not flame me--I am just stating that the more evidence the OP can provide that her son is not inclined to follow through with threats and does not have the capacity to, would help her case)

You would think a school that had kids with these kinds of verbal impulse issues would be able to parse threats from non-threats.

The response is irrational.

If a child made such a threat, had access to guns, and was a danger, how would keeping off the bus help?
I don't see how access to a bus had anything to do with Columbine or Sandy Hook...

It makes no sense.

Adamantium, Of course it is stupid. They are looking at it from the perspective of "If you misbehave on the bus, you lose the privilege of riding the bus," which will piss-off the parents and make them punish the kid more.

That said, you have to play their stupid game.

He said he was going to shoot them with a gun. That stuff is taken seriously but why wasn't he kicked out of school either? Shootings don't happen on buses only, they can happen in school too.

He just needs to be taught he cannot make threats like that or else he might end up in jail or something and show him real articles about it and read it to him or have him read it and also tell him about it every time you hear it on the news. It worked with me and it took me a month to learn.

I don't understand how punishing the kid more will help. How do these people end up in education? The whole school mechanism is created by elected officials and paid for with public money--what is wrong with people that they allow these irrational approaches to teaching to prevail?

OK, dumb question--I know: they are human. Question withdrawn.

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to homeschool.

It keeps the kid from doing it. Being banned from the school bus might not be a punishment for the child so if they are punished at home too, it makes them behave on the bus and learn their lesson. But if a kid is already devastated they can't ride the bus, then that is already a good enough punishment IMO and they don't need another one at home. It depends on the child.

Last edited by League_Girl on 11 Oct 2013, 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, punishment has decreasing marginal returns at a certain point. That of course assumes punishment works at all. Punishment can only work if the kid has control over whatever that thing is. Kids with a lot of impulse control issues have to first acquire the skill before punishment means a whole lot. Punishment might make the child try more, but it depends on the child. Some kids react the opposite way.

IMHO kicking the kid off the bus only punished the parents not the kid at all. How stupid.

Perhaps if you tell them he LOVES being driven to school by you, they will change their minds and put him back on the bus.

Also, if this is a private school and you paid tuition with the understanding that transportation would be provided, isn't that a breach of contract?

Evidence for this?

And if the kid has OCD or Tourette's?

It's just a stupid, clumsy approach, like hitting a computer with a bat because the network is slow.