Anybody with autistic mother and sociopathic father?

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Just wondering what this does to the children (yes my own situation).
I have asperger and the father of my children (now divorced) has strong cluster B traits (Cluster B = psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists and/or borderliners).

Are there any adults with this combination of parents? and what did it do to you?


I am wondering and I am also worried about what this can do to the children.

HelleS

That is an awfully specific profile. My husband has a father with probably aspergers, ADD, control issues and who knows what else. His mother is probably ADD, narcissistic/borderline. He is probable ADD/AS and has self esteem issues. His sister is a train wreck of entitlement and impulse control issues. None of this is predictive as it will depend somewhat on genes and how your kids are raised. Have you consulted with a professional about your concerns?

I am not officially diagnosed ASD, but believe I would be if I had been born more recently, so I guess an unofficial self-diagnosis for me. My ex, the bio-father of my two oldest kids was Dx before our divorce as "Antisocial Personality Disorder with Schizotypal Tendencies".

I recognize the worry associated with raising kids with that bio-background. My oldest is HFA, the middle child is ADHD/ODD--him I worry about the most as far as the biological influence of their bio-dad.

The social influence does not exist. Our divorce was finalized 2 weeks after the middle child was born (oldest was 16 months, and we'd been separated for several months before the divorce). He disappeared immediately after the divorce, and after a certain number of years with no contact, and again that diagnosis played in my favor, I asked for and it was granted that his parental rights were terminated. I remarried when they were 5 and 6, and they've been adopted by the only dad they've ever known (who is definitely not on that sociopath scale).

The youngest's bio-dad is my husband, and I'm fairly certain the youngest is ASD. We're working on the diagnosis process with him right now. Anyway, not really sure that my ex's biology is all that influential on them, since the youngest is turning out similar. Maybe my ASD genes are just particularly strong. I don't know.

Yes it is an awfully specific question, I know.

I am not very worried but some, as they still see their father (he insists, actually he would like to see them even more - which he tried just after the divorce and it was not good for the small ones.).

I see ASD traits in the oldest and I am in the process of getting the school to accept that he needs an evaluation (sigh), he is very much him self and have some good boundaries. The middle one has meltdowns and sensitivity issues but also spend the most time with his father, sometimes I worry about him as it is difficult for me to see if his issues are AS (or near) or if he is influenced by his father. The twins are 3½ and it is difficult to say what will happen with them, one has hearing sensitivity and probably meltdowns, they are both very bright and gentle children.

As far as I have been able to find out both AS and cluster B have a component of genetics, cluster B can be social influenced. It seems that my traits are strong in the children (a happy and proud mother ) especially in the oldest. So I hope that my genetic influence and the fact that they see another kind of social interaction in my home is enough to keep them away from the path of the narcissist. In all the literature I have read it seems that AS and cluster B is sort of in the opposite end of the spectrum - which is good (even some people seems to confuse the two!).

I am just a little surprised that the genetics of AS seems to be so much stronger. It was good to read that MiahClone seems to have the same experience.

I have been wondering if we are much more prone to run into the cluster B personalities (I know it is common to have trouble recognizing them) because we have difficulties interpreting other people and may often stick around for longer? I know I had a problem with personal borders, which I am working on now.

Based on what I have read on here, neurodiversity does appear in families in the sense that when one thing seems to be genetic there are other types of neurodiversity present in the same family. I don't know about specific studies, but I am sure those that do will chime in in due time.

Well, my dad was AS. Best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know what my mom's diagnosis would have been, though I am pretty sure she would have had one. What do you call it when someone is painfully insecure, needs a constant diet of praise and needs someone to tell them it's OK to do/be/think something before they can be all right with it??

I think that would be dependent personality disorder. Whatever it was, she never stopped trying to deal with it, and she did all right. Not great, maybe-- she was a sucker for every silver-tongued POS man that came along and would have been a heck of a lot better off if she'd stayed married to the Aspie. But that was something she just couldn't do, and I can only complain so much. They had their own lives to make; whatever they did to themselves, they were really wonderful to me.

Don't flip out too much about genetics, or get all emotionally involved in it (easier said than done, I know, even for us cold logical types). It's not what you have, it's how you deal with it.

Thanks for your answers.
I am trying to deal with it in a fairly "cool" way, and it seems that my genes are very strong.

I am trying to give the kids room to be themselves and it is really nice how much things have calmed down after he moved out of our home. No more competitions, a much less stressful life, a much more calm atmosphere - a bit more messy (I really do not have the time to clean a lot) but so much more understanding of our differences. It is difficult to explain but everything is just much more peaceful and now I can start working on our issues and talk with the two oldest boys about dealing with things like meltdowns and special interests etc.

It sounds like you have things well under control. Just keep trying not too worry, too much.

My son. You can ask him in a few years,but he seems to be doing ok for a young aspie...

Hi EMTkid

Sounds good. I am hopeful that my genes are stronger I do not really see any sign in them and it is good to know that there are other people out there doing their best for their children.

I pray every day my jeans are stronger than his, and I try to teach him right from wrong and respect for others. He's such a good kid. But, according to my ex-mother-in-law, so was my ex...