Started Middle School and Feel Like we are Back in 1st Grade

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My son was super excited about middle school. He actually loves it for the most part. He loves band and he just joined the after school math/science competition team with his twin brother.

The teachers are killing me though. I am constantly getting emails from them complaining about him. Mostly about his ongoing desk and chair touching issues. If someone touches his chair or desk, he feels angry and can only make it better by touching their desk/chair back. He even does it if the teacher lays his work on his desk. He had it mostly conquered in 5th grade by being allowed to take breaks. It has now returned with a vengeance. He says everyone is constantly walking by and touching his desk (I never knew middle schools kids walked around the room so much. We never did when I was in school.) Obviously, this is probably due to the stress of middle school, and perhaps some hormones thrown in. We have given him every strategy we can think of to help him change his focus. Take a Lego to fiddle with. Doodle in class. He keeps telling me it is helping, but it obviously isn't. He then went to tapping people on the arm, so he could honestly tell us he wasn't tapping desks back. We told him we would rather have him touch desks than people. He told me an elaborate lie yesterday to cover up getting overly annoyed at someone for touching his desk. He said the kids was doing it over and over on purpose, so he explained nicely that it bothered him and asked him not to do it(a strategy we told him to try.), but that the kid wouldn't quit, so he got angry and when we stormed by he accidentally touched his teacher's bottom. I didn't get an email or call from the teacher yesterday, so I thought it must have been true. Well, I got one tonight with a whole different story. Turns out, she touched the back of his chair,he was tired of it, so he touched her bottom to get back at her. While I understand why he told the big lie, I am so angry and disappointed in him right now.

Then today he had another problem. In 7th period, he again said a kid kept walking by his his desk grazing it with his hands. He had enough and got in his face, shook his hands and head in the air and made an exasperated sound at him. The kid said he licked him, so he was sent to the Vice Principals office. He swears to me he didn't lick the kid. I want to believe him and think he might have accidentally spit on the kid when he was making this monster face and sound at him up close, but I can't be sure since he lied to me so convincingly just yesterday, even though he has never licked anyone in his life.

I guess I am going to take him to a therapist to see what to do about this OCD chair/desk stuff. Has anyone dealt with OCD/stress/anxiety without using medication?

I also have to deal with the school's special ed incompetence. They aren't giving him any of the organizational support he has in his IEP. He is supposed to have a pass to take breaks in the learning lab, but he doesn't. An aide travels in classes to watch all special ed kids in middle school here. However, since he is the only special ed kid that takes Pre-AP classes, he doesn't have anyone come into those classes. So he has had two zeros in one class for in-class assignments he did, but shoved in his binder instead of turning in because he is so worried about being tardy to the next class. Their policy is one day late, automatic 80, after that a 0. The teaches are complaining about how unorganized he is, but none of the assistance we asked for is being given. I think since they have more severally disabled kids there, he is being ignored because he can get good grades and pull out good scores on the state tests. Even with a few zeros, forgetting things, and rushing through work too often, he pulled 6 As and 2 Bs. The special ed department seems to be ignoring him, but the general ed teachers keep emailing me and complaining.

He has been called gay and ret*d. He got into an argument with a larger kid in gym. The kid pushed him, so he pushed him back. The kid then pushed him to the floor and was on him, holding him down until some other kids were going to go find the gym teachers. So the kid "made nice" with him so he wouldn't get into trouble. So much for all the anti-bullying rhetoric and the stupid class about it they make them take for 20 minutes every month.

He doesn't want to be homeschooled. He cried a ton tonight when we told him we were ready to bring him home for middle school. He loves the lab experiments, band, and the freedom. He wants to join the robotics class when he can in 7th grade. However, he doesn't seem to be handling middle school very well. I can't go back to getting nothing but complaints from the school like we did in 1st grade. I really don't know how else to help him other than bring him home. He is smart and can learn easily on is own, but he wants to go to school. He is very social, he just stinks at following the social rules. I feel like I have no decent options.

I would call an IEP meeting ASAP and hold their feet to the fire ASAP. I wish I had more concrete help for you. (My son is younger and I have taken him out to homeschool) I would not be surprised if certain kids are touching his desk intentionally to get a rise out of your son; but you are not going to be able to prove that to them. If he had an aide, even part time, then they would at least stop targeting him while someone is there looking. Of course the problem with an aide at that age, is that they will make fun of him for that, too, when she is not there.

In addition for submitting a request for an IEP meeting I would write a note to any of his gen ed teachers who have complained and/or have given him bad grades due to IEP problems and let them know in writing that his IEP is not being followed by the special ed department and that you are in the process of calling for an IEP meeting to give them the help they need. Ask for their patience in the meantime --and then outline what is not being followed and how that effects your son in their respective classes. Bringing up the school's noncompliance may scare them into treading lightly while this is ironed out.

Just because he is not the squeakiest wheel they have does not mean they don't have to help him. If he is not squeaky enough to get their attention, it will just fall on you, unfortunately.

With the OCD type behavior, have you thought about the possibility of PANDAS?

If a doctor agrees, it might mean a course of prophylactic antibiotics. And given the seriousness of OCD, the risks of antibiotics might well be worth taking.

My son is in middle school and as much as I hate to say it, kids ARE most definitely touching your son's desk on purpose. This is the sly kind of bullying kids do to my son. They do something that looks innocent enough on the outside, but their goal is to get my son frustrated so that he will start crying.

Why doesn't the teacher just put his desk somewhere so that kids don't have to keep walking by it? Or tell everyone they need to walk a different way? WTH? Stuff like this just really ticks me off. You don't need an advanced degree in geniousness to figure these things out. Just solve the freaking problem already! Sheesh!

My son is only in gen ed. I can tell you that I have found his teachers to be most appreciative of meetings where I sit with them, listen to their problems with him, and let them know what we do at home for similar issues. Most of them--in my experience--are actually quite willing to help once they know what to do. The same is true for my daughter's teachers. Her ASD is nearly imperceptible for the most part. Except to me. I see the issues loud and clear. Usually when I point her "sneaky" issues out to her teacher, explain why they happen, and explain what to do, they are able to spot it and intervene appropriately.

But I agree with ASDMommyASDkid. Make it known his IEP is not being followed. Loudly. They have no choice but to follow it. It is your son's right.

I am fairly sure he doesn't have PANDAS. This manifested in 2nd grade where he had to touch others desks back. It got better by 4th grade and almost gone in 5th due to him taking the occasional break to relieve stress. It has gotten huge this year and I am 100% positive it is due to anxiety and stress.

I have been planning on calling an IEP meeting. I was trying to wait until after parent/teacher conferences this coming Monday. I have also spoke and gave some ideas to each of his teacher at Meet the Teacher night the first of Sept. Plus, we have had several emails going back and forth. His Pre-AP ILA teacher gave him her own break card to go get a drink or go to the bathroom since he hadn't gotten one from his case manage yet. That seems to have helped him in her class.

Here is what I feel is happening. In our district, we have specialized elementary schools. For instance, if your kid has more severe autism, they may go to a school not in your zone where they have all the personnel available to meet their needs. Same for Down's, etc. In middle school all the kids come back to their zoned middle school. I was told in our IEP meeting this would help my son as now there would be aides in the classes to help all the kids that fall under the special ed umbrella, so there would someone in class that could help him organize or notice if he needed a break when he didn't and give him a break card to go to the Learning Lab. He also would be given a case manager that would help all the teachers and act as the liaison for him. He said he thought he knew who I was talking about when I mentioned a case manger because he and met someone who had talked to him a few times, but he couldn't remember her name. I finally got an introduction letter from her on Sept. 16th. It was dated Aug. 19th. I know my son didn't lose it as we got through his stuff and I help him reorganize every night. Plus, I have been through his locker twice looking for a lost agenda book. I think he is being pushed aside for more serious kids. She emailed me once about Paul's issues and wanted to talk. My email in return wasn't very accusatory, but not pleasant either and I mentioned I was ready to call an IEP meeting. She hasn't returned my email, called or set up a meeting with me since that email two weeks ago.

I have continually asked him about people helping in classes (an aide). He has said there is someone in his Science, Social Studies, and Tech Apps class, but that he didn't think they were there to help him, but other kids because almost never talk to him. I know of one boy that requested a schedule change out of the same Science class to another because his Mom said there were too many Special Ed kids in that class. I know that sounds bad, but I don't think she meant it in a bad way because she is a teacher and her son has dyslexia, so I know she understands. I think they have tried to combine resources and group these kids together in the same classes to make it easier on staffing and they have overwhelmed these classes. He says there are no aides in his Pre-AP Math and ILA classes, Band, or PE. I think that is because he may be the only IEP kid taking those classes, so no aides are even popping in.

I know desks are being touched on purpose. I also know someone can barely graze his desk and he gets annoyed. If he is mentally busy, he won't even notice it though. I also found out yesterday his desk in Science is right by were everyone keeps their Science journals, so everyone walks right by him all the time. He said he asked to be moved and she said no. His IEP states to put him in the spot with the least amount of traffic. Gotta fight about that.

He doesn't need a full time aide. He needs help organizing, a break card, and for the desk placement he is suppose to have. The teachers sure won't even so much as give a suggestion to the poor boy. Apparently he was trying to spread out everything he took to class all out in every class. His math teacher even complained to me about it. I had to tell him to take out his folder and spiral out for that period from the large Trapper Keeper I got him and then put everything else under his desk. He looked at me like I had told him the secret to life. I don't believe that would have ever occurred to him in a million years. How hard would it have been for a teacher to see him trying to keep everything out on one small desk and make some suggestions?

It isn't just my son that has problems. I have talked to friends who have typical kids. One has a son who had his head slammed with another kids in PE. The kid who did it got suspended, but good grief are the gym teachers even there? The my son has a friend who is very small for his age and is babied a lot at home. This kid is a bigger target than my son. His Mom says he doesn't want to go to school anymore and says he wants to kill himself. At least my son flat out says the other kids don't bother him because he doesn't care what they think and he means it.

I hate middle school.

OK this is going to sound really weird and I apologise if I am being unintentionally insensitive, but have you tried explaining the whole desk situation to him as if he is an adult? Just level with him. Tell him that people will touch his desk because they can and because sometimes it's accidental and sometimes it's on purpose and if he wants any peace at school he should find something else to care about and then tell nobody what that is and make it something that nobody can touch either.
FYI, as an adult, I still get bullied, by friends no less, when I exhibit this kind of behaviour and you are right in that's stress induced so it makes it even worse when people who are supposed to support you actually keep making it worse, but that's how it is.

I'm very sorry about all the aggro you get from other people in your son's school, it sounds more stressful than corporate environment.

The desk touching by other kids is almost certainly deliberate. They enjoy the reaction, they enjoy getting him in trouble, and if they know he's "different," they enjoy messing with the 'tard. I knew girls to do this in HIGH SCHOOL with kids with profound Downs. It was the Downs kid that always got in trouble for it because our HR teacher was a stupid society twat. Twenty years later I still hope those three b*****s that shared my last name and that stupid teacher burn in Hell.

Hold their feet to the fire over the IEP. Scream lawsuit under the ADA. Polite is out the window at this point IMO. But bear in mind that I'm an Aspie.

I'd second the comment about leveling with him. This would have worked with me at his age, or anyway I would have been able to understand it. It did not in my case stop behaviors like thumbsucking but it did for the most part stop me from rising to the taunts. Also just flat-out tell him that because he is the different one, he will be the one to pay the price for retaliation while the bullies walk away smelling like roses. It's cruel but it's true.

They ARE ignoring him because he performs well academically. They are probably also ignoring him because they disagree with the IEP and/or really don't know what to do or how to do it. That is not to imply that they'd get better if they were taught-- they might, they might not. It depends on whether they want to learn-- which as you know plenty of NTs and plenty of educators don't.

I guess there's always the possibility of finding a more accomodating school. Or explaining to him again and again and again that homeschoolers could still have opportunities like robotics through other outlets. Though frankly if he is EVER to function in the world, he has to overcome it sometime and it might as well be now.

They say SSRIs really do help the OCD stuff. They say they work as well as atypical antipsychotics or better without the horriffic side effects of the atyps. They say they have tested this in children twelve and up, specifically children with ASD, specifically the stripe formerly known as Aspergers. It sure worked for me-- it didn't take much and it didn't have to go on for long. I was on 20 mg of fluoxetine once a day for about 18 months; it wouldn't have been that long if I had not had to hold out for a LOT of chaotic stuff in my life to settle down (like a huge amount, like enough to land an NT in therapy and on antidepressants, like in two years I lost my dad, my stepmom, a pregnancy, was harrassed by a superbully (how I lost my stepmom), was abused by my in-laws and by therapists, had a suicide attempt, started getting better, found out I was pregnant again, spent ten months living with said in-laws kind of helping them and kind of paying them back for taking the kids when I landed on the in-patient ward with the suicide attempt).

A word about the black-box warning on SSRIs. This is what I think; it has been corroborated by a handful of psychiatrists I have talked to (including the one who saved my life on the ward). People expect antidepressants to FIX depression. Magic-- get it up to therapeutic levels and it all goes away. They DON'T WORK THAT WAY. They suppress the physiological symptoms like fatigue and they help suppress the anxiety; this gives you a SMALL boost that for a lot of people is the crutch they need to beat the depression with therapy and hard work. Between the disappointment of the depression not being fixed and the boost in energy that comes with the serotonin rise, some people who were very close to suicide anyway and either holding onto this unrealistic last hope or simply not possessed of enough will to have the will to die tip over. They won't make someone who's not leaning hard that way anyway suicidal out of thin air.

The caveat to this is bipolar disorder. If you're dealing with that, you're out of the realm of any of my knowledge.

He has been leveled with for years. We have grown up talks with him all the time. We don't baby him much. I even invited him to his IEP meeting this past April, but he didn't have any interest in attending.

He cries and says he has no idea why it bothers him so much. He says his brain just feels angry when it happens. He had a similar issue with a Pillow Pet he had. His brother had one and slept on it and the fur got matted down. He didn't want that to happen to his, so he would sleep next to it, had to fluff it so many times and get bugged if anyone touched it. Not every night, but every so often, we would mess with him, and while trying to be lighthearted, we would mess it up when we kissed him goodnight. He would laugh/growl at the same time, but he had to fluff it back. This summer, he suddenly let it go and doesn't care anymore. He sleeps on it. It falls on the floor. We can touch it and he doesn't blink an eye. He even said "It doesn't bother me because I don't care anymore. If I just didn't care about my desk or chair I wouldn't feel angry." We were like well yes, that is what we have been trying to accomplish for several years.

This is a multi-dimensional problem. Middle School is a lot of pressure organizational wise for him. The schoolwork is fairly easy for him, but he can't juggle it all. I am going to get on the school about not following what we have in his IEP to help with with organization.

I also know his hormones are just starting to kick in. He has bouts of being very emotional that started the beginning of August, before school even started. He will cry and scream at the same time. He even locked himself in the bathroom and then sit int here a text me about how we didn't understand him. He seems to be overly emotional for a week or two and then we have a really good week, then we go back to emotions running wild. He isn't a a kid to cry a lot, so this is unusual. I thought it was girls that cried a lot during puberty.

Lastly, the stress is causing this OCD tick of his to blow out of proportion. I am going to get recommendations for a therapist that specializes in OCD and Cognitive Behavior Therapy and see if we can find some solutions. Thanks for the info about the SSRIs. I would think about meds only after we tried everything else.

I am fairly certain he isn't bi-polar and he isn't even depressed about school. If the school didn't have issues with him, he really would be fine. He gets bugged in the moment, and moves on. The teachers are finding him annoying. We have talked about the kids saying hurtful things. He says he doesn't care about what other people say at all and I really do believe him. When I was trying to organize him for class. I asked him if it ever occurred to him to look around and see how the other kids were handling all their belongings in each class and get some ideas.. He said "I never look at other people Mom. I don't care what they are doing." And that sums my son up in a nutshell. He is like a horse with blinders on. He is focused on whatever his goal is and rarely thinks about what everyone else is doing.

well yes I get it completely, this is why I was suggesting he identifies something else, preferably small and portable and hidden to take the place of desk. Desk is his safe zone at the moment this is why it bothers him when people touch it.

we Aspies have to learn what to do by rules. I never liked copying what other kids do, they mostly liked copying me because I was different, but sometimes I would find a friend and see that how they did something made things easier and I would then want that for myself, so then it made sense to copy it.

What are the organisational problems when it comes to school? Is it just not being able to pack your stuff in the bag? He should be able to learn that as a new rule for how to be when you are in school. If he is unwilling to learn the rules then he cannot expect to stay in school. But yeah, overwhelm is not easily managed for sure, so I hope you find a way to deal with that.

Middle school is a tough transition; you aren't going to get around it. You just do what you need to do. Dig in, invest in your child, spend the extra time. I read through your posts and I think you are slowly sorting it out, and don't feel there really is more I can offer. These things have to be solved differently for each unique child. Just fight for it. For it all. What he needs it. I'm sending you positive energy and determination as I type, assuming that sort of thing works

Thank you to everyone. I really do appreciate the support. We have given him small objects to fiddle with to try to redirect him. They don't seem to work.

He isn't getting the appropriate access to take a break in the Learning Lab. That is his case managers fault. It took her a month to make a break card, and then I found it shoved in his locker last week when I went to clean it out with him, so I am not sure it is being used at all. I sent her a short email that I will admit was a bit terse and wasn't exactly warm, but did request to meet with her. I never heard anything in response. That was 4 weeks ago.

I am not very impressed with the Special Ed staff at our middle school. According to his Speech Therapist he has already mastered in the first 6 weeks all the goals his previous ST set for him in May. He hasn't mastered them. I don't think she knows what she is doing. He had 6 goals total, 3 goals that required journaling this year to reflect on interactions he had with peers and teachers. I went to pick him up for a doctor's appointment last week. She was in the office and met me. She proudly showed me his notebook she has him use for journaling in speech. It was in a table format. OK, not what I envisioned, but since his handwriting isn't great, maybe is was easier. All he had filled was on the front and back of the first page. That was all that was in the whole notebook! One page, with lots of skipped lines and blank space. He is to have at least 10 journal entries for each goal. I think she took that to mean only 10 actual lines on the paper because there is no way he met those goals on what I saw. And she was so proud of it. She said she just was hired. She is very young. I don't think she has any experience.

He had an incident in Science on Thursday with a boy walking by and touching his desk. According to my son repeatedly. This is his second to last period. He finally lost it and got in the boys face, shook his hands in the air and yelled at him. I think he got real close and must have spit on him accidentally when he did it, but the boy said he licked him. My son has never licked anyone in his life. He swears he didn't lick him, but admits to yelling and getting in his face when he did it. He was sent to the Vice Principals office. He brought me home a sticky note he had from the VP that told him his HW was to talk to me about what happened and decide on a consequence for him. My son said the VP said he would call me the next day, so I waited for that call. Yesterday, I got a call at home only at 10:22 am. He gave no details and just said to call him. I had walked out side for one moment, missed the call, and immediately called him back, but got his voicemail. I left a message. He never called me back the rest of the day. I called him again two more times yesterday and never reached him. My son came home and said they pulled him from first period and made him sit in another room for awhile. He sounded confused about it and must have thought it was a break or to talk at first and then realized they weren't letting him go back to his next period either. He said they later told him it was ISS for licking the kid in Science. I am the one who explained to him that it was In School Suspension. He said he did his work and was allowed to return to class by 4th period. He wasn't even given a letter about it to bring home. How in the world is he disciplined and I am not notified in any manner? I had things to talk to them about before we decided on a consequence. When I talked to my son about it I found out the Science teacher has him right next to the Science Journals, so everyone is always going by him to pick them up and put them away. He asked to move and she said no. His IEP states he is to sit in the area with the least amount of traffic! This is even one of the classes that has an aide in there to help because there are other spec ed students in there. Obvisouly they aren't there to help him in any fashion. The real idiocy in their ISS. He did all his work for the entire day during the ISS, so he had nothing to do in his classes when he returned to them, so his teachers allowed him to read during their classes. He would rather be reading in their classes that doing their work! They really taught him a lesson! Then they sent me an automatic phone message and email stating he was absent during the periods they had him in ISS!

Three is no school Monday. It is Parent/Teacher Conference Day for our whole district. I have my appointment set up for that, and I also have my letter requesting a new IEP meeting. Time to get the District involved. After all, since he has met all his speech goals for the entire year in the first 6 weeks in only one page of journaling, we need to make some new goals! Ha!

We were transitioned to a presumably "new" speech teacher (She was very young,and rigid) in the middle of last year and what a disaster it was! He would have been better off not being pulled for speech at all , seriously. She would actually trigger meltdowns. The sad thing was the older teacher he had before was the best ST he had, ever. No one bothered to even tell me, and they did it while his main teacher was out ill. School districts have no common sense. They would question me like it was the Spanish Freaking Inquisition about what I was doing at home, but they were causing all sorts of tumult themselves and not even telling me so I could prep him.

It is possible they gave your son undocumented ISS, where they did not do a write up, but gave him the punishment anyway. They pulled my son a lot last year for behavior and never wrote them up as suspensions (I think b.c there is a limit to how many pulls like that they can do for a special ed kid without triggering an entire process) Then in the final IEP meeting at the end of last year (before I yanked him out) they put all sorts of junk in the FBA I requested about suspension being an effective deterrent. What the what! So I asked them when was he considered suspended and they said they were counting all the times he got pulled and/or sent home for behavior in the FBA but it didn't "count" in his records. (By the way it was not an effective deterrent and also an incentive like in your son's case---which when I questioned that, they told me it was their observations....You could even tell the teacher did not believe them either. It was like the Twilight Zone) It was like they just cold made stuff up.

Anyway, the point of these ramblings is make sure that you find out what is really going on, and how things count. There is a limit to how often and for how long they can pull (I forgot now what it is) without following a specific procedure. It should be in your handbook, with your rights in it, that they are supposed to give you on the regular.

Oh and I do have documented proof that the ST thinks he has met the goals with that one page. She went ahead and copied me his 1st 6 weeks progress report for Speech when I was int he front office last week. She has that he did 10/10 entries in each of the goals where he was suppose to journal at least 10 entries. He has only met with her three times so far. She never saw him the first time until Sept 9th. He only sees her for 30 minutes during PE on Mondays, she was absent one Monday he said, and the 6 week grading period was over Oct. 4th. She is apparently superwoman to get that much out of him in 3 sessions.

I so feel for you, because my DD just started middle school this year as well (after 2 years of homeschooling with me. She asked to go back to a brick and mortar school, we prepped all summer with therapy, and I knew she was serious about the request). We are fortunate that we have a terrific program for kids on the spectrum at our middle school - one of the electives is actually a study skills class that teaches organization and helps kids with executive function challenges. They actually get graded on remembering things for their other six classes!

To your issue, I think it's imperative that you have that IEP meeting ASAP, like ASDMommyASDKid mentioned. I have found that the more insistent I am, the more the SPED team realizes that they are not going to be able to wait until they have time; they will need to *find* time. I'm polite, but firm.

Points that I can think of (not in a particular order; apologies for that):

1. SLP teacher needs to allow your son to journal by typing. Writing requires a lot of extra energy for most kids. I'm not really clear what the journal is supposed to demonstrate about your son. Is it an introspection exercise? I would seriously needle her on the 6 goals and what they are supposed to accomplish for your son.

2. I believe, because your son is more than academically capable, the para-educators are ignoring him in class to provide for those students who are very lost. Your son, because he is bright, is being punished, frankly. My DD had the same issue. When behavior issues arose in her self-contained classroom, the other students got the one on one help and my daughter, who didn't have behavior issues, got worksheets to do! They need to give him and you a specific schedule for when a para-educator will be available to him. They also need to let you know if that para is being shared by other students, so you know how much time they have to dedicate to his needs. If he is very capable in a class (such as Science or his Pre-AP class, where he does well), the paraeducator should be responsible for "checking in" with him at the end of class to make sure he has everything turned in, his class notes organized, and homework written down. If they do not have a para for him for a particular class, inquire as to whether or not a parent volunteer can come in and help, or another member of the SPED team. What so many teachers fail to understand is that bright kids can be very disorganized. But with a little coaching, most of these kids "get it" and can be independent in a relatively short period of time. They need routine, routine, routine…!

3. The situation with the class seating/touching the chair is ridiculous (not your son's issue, which is very real)! The teachers should all be on board with giving him an assigned seat for each class that is not interfering with access to a pencil sharpener, chalkboard, class exit, etc. Unfortunately, he is spending his valuable class time dealing with something that a teacher can very *easily* handle. Given his high grades, despite the on-going chair situation, I would imagine he would even do better if that wasn't an issue. And to bolster your argument to teachers, let them know that it's possible that these situations can escalate, interrupting valuable class time for *all* their students. Tell these teachers the complaints will stop if they comply.

4. We have a cognitive behavior therapist who helps us with lots of anxiety issues and is essentially "on call" by email. She has helped my daughter tremendously and given her a voice, where before my DD didn't feel like she had one. Therapists vary however, so looking into a good one may take some time. The reference stickies at the top of the Parent Discussion board may help.

5. I wish all middle schools had the program that my daughter participates in. She has a "check-in" every morning before class, where by they go over all her classes, classwork, and homework - making sure she has things prepped for each class. The "check out" at the end of the day functions in a similar manner - students reiterate work that needs to be completed (homework and unfinished classwork), writing it in a planner for home. The teacher in the study skills class is my liaison for classwork, in addition to the teacher's websites. Students have the same "core" teacher (for writing/language arts/social studies - or 3 out of 7 classes) all three middle school years. The continuity is very important. Moreover, the study skills teacher is familiar with the gen ed teachers' "nuances"; some teachers are more "anxiety-friendly" than others. Getting that heads up is a huge benefit as a parent; I can prep my child to deal with those challenges. Perhaps it's possible to construct something along similar lines for your son? Even if you have to press some teachers or other parents to participate with you?

6. We use this binder and have my DD put *everything* in it. It's heavy, but at least she doesn't have to run into her locker between every period. It helps keep her organized and everything is in one place! http://www.mead.com/meadstore/mwv/produ ... odId=29592

My son uses this binder http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywor ... flqiehbb_e

The benefit is that it actually has a strap, which is good because he has a hard time carrying the large binders.

But he also does not go back to his locker. He finds that very stressful.