Help About Extreme Picky Eater Son

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Hello everybody;

I am new in this forum and I am sorry in advance for any kind of language mistakes I make here since I am not a native English speaker but there is no community like this in my country and I need help and many questions to ask and I would appreciate if some of you could help me with these questions

I have a 2.5 years-old son who has been diagnosed with High functioning autism about 4 months ago. Actually doctors were indecisive about giving a diagnosis because he shows some symptoms of autism EXTREMELY while has many behaviours very much non-autistic. They decided to call it PDD-NOS but I am not even sure if this was a rigth diagnosis. We went to 5 different doctors and they all agree there is something wrong but they can not say anything concrete to me.

He speaks around 100 words -maybe more - and a couple of two-word sentences but I can not say he is very good at forming the phrases. He is a bit confused because he learned everything he knows in 3 months. When we noticed something were wrong - 3-4 months ago - he used to say only mom and dad and he did not understand a single word or comment we were making. He always had eye contact although not very good but he was not responding his name.. And he was and still is an extremely picky eater.

After the early intervention programme started and after 3 months, now the doctors say that he seems like having a high iq and he is very good at understanding comments, he is a very social kid and loves to be with his peers although he is not very good at keeping the conversation continue since he has limited speaking abilities and he also is an hyperactive boy and moves very quickly which sometimes freaks the other children out even though my kid want to cuddle their faces sometimes, they are afraid that they will be hit by him

Actually there are many more things I can count here..He is not a curious boy. He never asks "what is this?" If we teach something he learns very quickly and uses the same word in a related/ appropriate situation - but sometimes repeats it unnecessarily, he has some echolalia as well. He never says yes and no if he does not have to.. Actually he prefers to answer with a whole word even if he has to. When I say shall I turn the TV off - he watches very rarely - he says I don want.. or Dont.. instead of no...Or do you want chocolate? and he says chocolate, chocolate..

But in short, , despite all these things we are doing just fine where we are except the sensory issues he is having which affects our social life. Actually it is all about his pickiness of the food. He does not like the touching sense of some textures as well but he is not very bad at it. He can bear it even though he does not like. Maybe a little bit of hearing as well but maybe not... that little..our biggest problem is his eating habits.

He has a very narraw menu. Until now, he NEVER ate a spoon of vegetable or a bite of carrot, cuccumber or anything like this.. There are exactly 6 foods he is having, each and every day without exception. And NOTHING ELSE.. but I can switch the order of these foods. He is not rigid about routines.. Not at all! He sleeps everywhere we go. He does not have any temper tantrums etc..

But no matter what we do, we are not succesful about making him try a new food even a crispy or some other thing that most children love, like fried potatoes etc. He still does not know the taste of french fries or any other kind of potato fried or boiled or anything...just like he does not know the taste of millions of other beautiful things to eat in the world.

I am sure there are parents here who had the similar issues with Aspie or high func. autistic children who become adults now..

I want to learn if this is going to last forever or it will be better when he is older? It it will, how older he must be to expand the menu?

He loves chocolate very much and I can make him to do many things including tidying his room up offering him a chocolate as a reward except tasting just a small bit of a new food. He understands very well. But he strictly refuses..

I am not sure if it sensory disorder and if it is, unfortunately in my country, there is no spesific specialist expert about this disorder.

Any suggestions and experiences of parents or adults on the spectrum will be much appreciated.

Thank you very much

I am a picky eater. I was well into my adulthood before I started eating vegetables. The reason was the texture. Also, some of the things didn't taste right to me.

Some questions you might ask yourself are:

"What is the texture of the foods that he enjoys?"

"What are the tastes of the foods he enjoys (salty, savory, sour, sweet, bitter)?"

"What do his favorite foods look like (color, shape, etc.)?"

Try expanding his menu by feeding him food that is similar in texture or taste to the foods he already enjoys.

Another very important question you need to consider is, "Does he have food allergies?" I am allergic to many, many foods. These foods are staples of the American diet. They make me feel sick if I eat them. My allergies are also a reason why I am a picky eater.

There is a feeding therapy called Sequential Oral Sensory (SOS) by specially trained occupational therapists. Basically it is a very gradual method of getting the child used to smelling, touching, tasting (and spitting out), then chewing and finally swallowing new food. There are two books you can get that describe it in detail:
Food Chaining
Just Take a Bite

Some ABA therapists also work on food issues.

I have to admit, SOS didn't work for my son. A big part of the problem was that he was already 6, and the therapist was treating him like a preschooler, and he could see right through the "tricks" to get him to play with the food. He's not as severe, maybe eats 25-30 foods. He will try new things ccasionally, so I'm hoping that eventually something like a cooking class will work for him.

thank you very much for your answer but I am afraid I already did all these things but there is no similarities about the colours or textures of the foods he likes. He is not allergic to any kind of foods either. That is why I am not even sure it is a sensory disorder or not.

I made a big mistake before I knew he was on the spectrum. I waited almost 48 hours to force him to eat anything other than the foods he preffered. Of course it did not work as it is expected to work in picky eater regular children and we had the worst 2 days of our lives because he was starving but still refuising to eat a bit and he got very very fussy and finally we gave up and gave him what he wanted and by that time he was so tired of crying and hunger that he did not want to eat the food he liked either and I was scared to death thinking the possibility he might stop eating it as well.

I am from Turkey and people are very very ignorant about autism here and they think it is the same thing with Down syndrome or something like that.. so everytime we go out together and he refuses to eat even the most popular, children's favourite food, people are having hard time understanding why a perfectly healthy looking and SMART!! kid, would not eat although he understands what we are saying..It is even more tiring for me trying to explain the situation.. They think I am a mother fan of blenders.. that s why my kid does not know how to chew...

But he definitely does...

How is your situation right now? I mean although you are still picky, is there anything you can eat if you go out with your friends? Or do you ever go out with your friends to eat something? I am so sorry if I asked you something inappropiate and I dont mean to offend anybody.. It is just that everything is so new to me and I am afraid I can not get it..and dont believe any doctor, a perfect and famous specialist could understand either..I should have had some form of autism to understand this... So to have a better idea and different perspective to help my child and make him live happier, I need to ask these questions to the people on the spectrum..

Thank you. Do you think if I can find these books maybe buying them through Amazon etc.. the books will teach me the therapy or are these books only tells about the possible methods or therapies to take? Because as I mentioned above, in my country unfortunately there is no such therapist available.. My economical situation gives me possibility to take him to another country but in thta point, we will have language problem. My son understands only Turkish and I dont want to confuse him any more with other languages although I want him to learn English and Spanish in the future

That sounds similar to what we did with our picky eaters. Each time something's served, they must take one bite of it. We supplemented with pediasure, but over time they both did expand their diets.

Yes, you can get the books through Amazon. The therapist DS saw has some online webinars, and would probably be willing to consult long distance.

http://endpickyeating.com/Home_Page.html

There's some stuff you need to know about food issues in general.

First of all, he's a kid. Kids actually have a much stronger sense of taste than adults. It's why so many of them can't tolerate vegetables - things like broccoli as a kid, but can when they are an adult.

You can also expect to have to introduce a food to a kid 15 times before they can actually get used to the taste and texture. It's a survival mechanism.

For autistic children, you need to take into account that their sense of taste and texture is going to be even more heightened than a regular kids, even though a regular kids is already much more heightened than an adults. So you're really dealing with much more in sensory issues than you think you are.

To add to that, autistic children often need much, much longer exposure to a food than a regular kid. 15 times will be nowhere near enough - depending on the kid it can take 30, 50 or even more times before that will stop.

For autistic kids, their environment and the people in it make a big difference too. There were many times I completely refused to try food as a kid when given to me by my parents at home or even when they took me out - but when they left me at their friends house who I knew well with her children - I tried sushi for the first time and liked it. If my parents had if been there, if we haven't been at someone else's house, if everyone else wasn't eating and if there was any other food available - I never would have done it. She introduced me to sushi, seaweed and seafood all in one day. I liked all of them although it did take me a while to decide. As soon as I went home I refused to eat it again though.

I actually did that the other day with a lady's son who is autistic. He eats exactly 12 things and we had none if them in the house. I ended up giving him a banana milkshake to try (usually he only drinks chocolate milk) - there was no issue, the most important thing was finding a cup / bottle that he liked to drink it in. He also ate fried pork and fried cassava that day and liked both of those too. And then grilled pineapple. I secretly videoed it to show his mother. Of course when she made banana milkshake at home he refused it again. You see the problem.

It really depends on what is important to your child. Sometimes it will be the taste, the texture, how the food is presented, the cup / plate / bowl it's served in, the people there, where they are eating, etc.

But do know that as they grow up it does get better. There are many foods I liked the taste of as a kid but couldn't stand the texture - many of those I can eat now (muscles, mushrooms, mango). So as they grow, both their sense of taste and sense of texture will dull a bit, enough to allow them to broaden their palate, although their senses will probably always be stronger than yours.

We have had issues with this. When our son was very small he would eat so many things (except rice cereal, he ditched that as soon as he got other solids) then he got real picky around two or so. He would not eat meat, anything soft (I think that was why he hated the rice cereal, too), anything with sauce, anything that was white or beige, and then anything new. He is 8, now and it is much better. It gradually improved and then got much better about two years ago. We would give him a safe food for dinner and then a new food, we would just encourage him to touch, and then work up to tasting. We tried to stay in his preferred flavor profiles (sweet and carby) at first and then branch out.

As long as he is getting proper nutrition (We used vitamins, too, in case) I would not worry too much. As far as what other people think, most parents here have had to stop worrying too much about this, too, whether it is about foods, or meltdowns or something else. Your kid will look "odd" sometimes out in public, and you just have to not care too much, and recognize improvement based on your own child, not based on where others think he ought to be.

Thank you. I e mailed her an she mailed me back. She will contact by Skype next week and I will also purchase her webinars.

I also found a therapist in my country who is not available at the moment because he went to the USA to give some lectures but she will be here next week. I am trying to schedule an appointment with her for the S.O.S therapy.. The cost is really high - it is around 300 dollars for each therapy but I guess I need to try it to see if it really works ..

thank you again. [quote="zette"]Yes, you can get the books through Amazon. The therapist DS saw has some online webinars, and would probably be willing to consult long distance.

The thing is; if he eats something from his very limited menu, for example a Mc.Donalds cheeseburger, he will eat it no matter where we are. We go to crowded and noisy shopping malls' food courts with hundreds of people and he is completely okay with it. He actually enjoys crowd. Or he likes pasta without any kind of sauce. No matter where we are and in what kind of plate it is served, he will eat it if hungry..

I am okay with offerring him the same food for 50+ times but he even refuses to play with it. He is too old to play with the foods I guess. He is more interested in playing real games..

Another thing is; the person who offers the food does not matter for him as well 3 months ago he was no speaking much and did not respond to his name so we had a trainer coming to our house an hour a day to teach him those stuff and he was almost in love with her. He did everything she asked him to EXCEPT trying a bite of a real food.

By the way, I still dont eat broccoli or any other vegetable mostly. But for me it is not about any sensory issue I am having. It is just that I dont like the taste.. If I am really hungry and have no other option to eat, I eat veegtables

Thank you. If my kid were eating before and then had gotten picky later, I would have a hope for the future and could thank God that he knows the tastes at least..
But he never did.. Actually a part of it is my fault. I was panicked all the time.. I did not give him many chances to try foods when he was younger, because I was scared to death that he would choke on these foods. That is why he still does not know how to use his tongue and he likes bread but when eating it, he pushes the bread with his finger to chew it in his cheek. But my mother is just like me and maybe even worse..So I was raised the same way or maybe worse that I am raising my child and I am more normal than him.. I am picky too but it does not affect my social life. I am not that bad.. I think, it is his mild-autistic brain doing this to him and I made the things worse by supporting without wanting to cause these things..

Angelicakaka,

No, no. You are not without hope. The early tasting is not so consequential, I do not think. I only told you this, to show tell you our situation. It is not a necessary stage. My son will still not try some of his very favorite foods from the early days. I

t is much better to keep him from choking, early on. That is not a fault. We did not have those issues, but some kids, do. If he is not using his tongue and swallowing correctly that is an occupational therapy issue, which can be worked on. Shoving food into the cheeks is not so uncommon. We have a special dentist for children with sensory issues, and he has told me his son had done this, when little.

None of this is your fault.

Thank you very much..

I actually did not want to sound as if I was blaming myself because I am not. or at least I am not the only THING to blame but I still cant help wondering what if I let him to try when he was younger, would he still be so picky at this stage or maybe a bit better..

The worse thing is I am still who I was used to be.. He will start joining a play group soon and the teachers are sure that they will be able to make him try new foods which I doubt - actually I am pretty sure he is NEVER going to try new things this way, without taking a kinda solo therapy.. - but still deep inside me, I have a hope that he will see other children eating and will try or at least touch his tongue to taste but this hope brings me another anxiety, thinking that he will be eating something in a place where I am not present and what if he chokes since he is old enough to eat anything but still does not know how to eat and chew..

Basicly, I am not in a better condition than him. Actually he is a very happy boy. He smiles all the time, plays games with the family members, sleeps well when I am around. He is also hyperactive but not a fussy child.. He does not have any meltdowns.. Of course he cries sometimes when he does not get what he wanted but just like regular kids..

It is me who is sick and getting sicker ans sicker every passing day seeing the minor difference between my child and the other kids. If I could just accept it, the life would be much easier..

You know what; if my child had a more severe form of autism, it would be sad, very much more sad but it would be easier for me to accept because I am just not getting it..

He is a social kid, he is verbal although a bit confused these days when it comes to "I,you", we - but believe me it is harder than English in our language but he is relatively good at it despite not being very fluent..He has good eye contact, he is intelligent.

He has his autism in the details.. If I take him to a new doctor now who does not know about his former condition, in 45 minutes, it is not possible for the doctor to notice anything about PDD but I know it is there and it is hard to predict how the future will be for us with a kid like this..

"This isnt a restaurant, we are having xxx for supper, take it or leave it."

he will leave it for sure