Disability Pension

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My daughter"s PDD support person(school) has suggested we apply for Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP). 15% get it on the first try, the rest have to appeal. I'm really anxious about this. She is 17 now. When she went from public school to high school, she had a very hard time. I live in the city, she lives in a small town with her Dad. She comes to see me all the time when she's not in school. She loves being here but she doesn't want to leave the small town. I'm sorry I'm getting off track. When she was in grade 9 the school called me and said she is having a melt down and the police have been called and the paramedics, they would be taking her to the hospital. They couldn't reach her Dad and they didn't think her grandmother could handle it. So they called me as a last resort because I live about a half an hour away and don't drive. I could hear her screaming in the background for the police to get away from her. She sounded like someone was trying to kill her. (I will never forget that) I told them I was taking a taxi and would be there as soon as possible. I got to the school and walked into the room. She was sitting curled up on the floor, crying, with the teachers, police and paramedics standing around her. As soon as she saw me she ran to me and hugged me. I took her home.
She is doing better in school now but she has a lot of PDD support in school. When she is done school all that support is gone. She doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't want to leave the small town. Her Dad has talked about moving to the city when she is done school. She is very upset about it because she doesn't want to leave the small town.
If she gets ODSP they will have agencies to help her get a job. What will happen if we doesn't get ODSP and has a major meltdown at a job where they have no clue how to handle it. Once she had a meltdown and was running down the hall a vice principle ran out to stop her, my daughter plowed right over her. In a meeting the PDD support told the teachers never try to restrain her unless she is try to hurt herself or someone else. What if this happened at a job she could be charged with assault.
She is so smart and loving. I know she is destined for greatness if she is just given the chance and a little help.
I'm sorry this is so long. I'm bipolar and my dr told me if I don't calm down I'm going to make myself sick. I can't help my daughter if I'm in the hospital. She doesn't see me when I'm upset. I thought if I was able to talk to someone then it would help. Once again I'm sorry it's so long and probably doesn't make any sense.

You're torturing yourself with What Ifs.

When I was a kid, I started to worry that Mom would die. I kept worrying and she die - 45 years later. That was a *lot* of What Iffing for nothing!

You have some serious issues to deal with but you've got to stay with Now. The rest is only phantoms. I understand that it must be scary as anything, but you're hurting yourself and your daughter by leaping ahead into the unknown.

I'm sorry I shouldn't have posted this. I was having a really bad day. I really worry a lot. The PDD support in her school have said they will help. You are right about all my what if's. Whatever happens we will get through it, we always do.

Please don't apologize for posting! I'm glad the school is going to help out. Let us know how it goes.

First, don't EVER feel ashamed of asking for help from us! We are a community of more or less parents, children and grandparents of Asperger people, if we don't have it ourselves, not to mention.

Apply to that social support program. And try to understand her situation. When I was 17 my whole world was three things, my first and only true love, computers, and bikes.

"Grab" her and accept her for what she is, because right now she's probably a mess of feelings and trying to sort herself out. This is the time when you're most needed, not to pinpoint rights or wrongs but just be there to answer questions that will emerge. Questions about EVERYTHING.

And take your time with her. Cry with her. Laugh with her. It's more worth than a thousand words.