Yawning/stretching instead of doing what is asked

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, folks! Sorry for the long hiatus; we've had all kinds of family stuff keeping us busy that has nothing to do with autism.

Have a question: DS has always had this behavior, but it has recently become significantly worse. When asked to do anything, he yawns and stretches for a significant length of time (often until my patience runs out, sadly.) I'm talking between five and fifteen minutes of stretching per request.

Our mornings go something like this: his alarm goes off, he turns it on snooze and stretches (totally reasonable.) This repeats 3 or 4 times. Often he doesn't meet the deadline to get dressed and be downstairs (if successful, he earns screen time.) Then, when he finally gets downstairs, instead of exercising which is the next step in his routine, (something we're trying, normally with success this year - stretching exercises, oddly enough, which don't seem to address his stretching needs though he likes them) he plops himself on the couch to yawn and stretch. Then, when we finally get him to breakfast, more of the same during and after breakfast.

It feels as though this isn't obstinacy, nor is it genuine tiredness (he is a bit tired, he says that's why he's doing it - but typically he's wide awake at least by breakfast time.) I also notice that in general, he has begun to S.L.O.W. down in multiple ways - he's constantly complaining on his walk to school (we sometimes walk together so I can walk the dog) that I'm walking too fast. The only time he's fast is when he runs to play video games - meaning, this slowness/stretching is only in effect when it's an outsider's expectation of him, not when it's something he wants to do himself.

Any ideas what this is about and how to help him? I think this has something to do with executive functioning/initiating skills, but I don't know how to help him with it. Certainly me micromanaging his time isn't helping and it's something I'd like to stop doing. Help?

I think I've read something similar to this before.

I can't be 100% certain on this - but I'd have to say that it's to give him time to properly let his mind process the information/mentally prepare for oncoming events, so that it decreases the chance of meltdowns and the like later on. The actual example I found was on laughing during social situations in order to give them time to think up a response, as it's better than just putting out blabbering while you think up the words. The reason he goes faster when it involves games etc, is likely because it's something he's familiar with that he already uses to de-stress from the day in the first place - and as a result, doesn't quite require the same preparation.

If it's only started recently, increased stress levels may have begun to build up, resulting in a larger need for this buildup to continue. If he's a newly entering 6 or 9th grader, then the cause is simple.

That said, I don't really know of any 'solutions' at this point - as the 'issue' is an attempt to avoid meltdowns, there isn't much of a way to stop it w/o increasing the chances of meltdowns that the method is trying to prevent in the first place.

I'd say either wait until he gets more coping situations in order, or until the stress complications resolve themselves. Whether these coping strategies will be better or worse, I don't know.

You want him to stop the stretching and yawning, especially in the morning after the alarm has gone off? Throw a bucket of ice water on him! He'll get the message real fast! (And yes, mom and dad did that to me and my brothers while we were growing up, if we didn't get out of bed after the first call at 4:00 AM in the morning.

Zodai, I agree that it's something like that (although he actually seems to be under less stress lately rather than more - he's in 7th grade, no transitions, grades are good, no complaints about social issues at school other than the usual)

What worries me is that this is one of those sort of "pre-emptive" things, where he's taking a lot of time to prevent something that isn't likely to happen, and since it doesn't happen, the behavior increases instead of decreasing (because, unconsciously, it's "working.".) He's not in danger of a meltdown lately from any of the signs I've learned to look for.

Welcome back, Momsparky. You have been missed.

I am going to agree with Zodai, that it is somehow related to processing. We do not have this issue in massive amounts, but my son's 1st grade teacher complained about him yawning and stretching before answering questions when asked to in class. I have also observed it in instances where he is needing more time, for a lack of a better way of putting it.

The 1st grade teacher interpreted it as avoidance, but I view it almost as a form of apraxia. I am probably not wording it well, but not being able to do certain things on command, that would be easy to do if it came from his own volition/mind.

I have not bothered to address it, b/c it has never been a big enough problem, so I do not know if it can be worked on in the same way that an apraxia might be, (which I would not know how to do) or if it is better left to resolve on it's own.