Torn on the question of meds - need help

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Hello everyone, my son 16, is on the spectrum. He is very good natured and wants to do everything right but is really suffering from anxiety and OCDish symptoms. He is depressed too because of the social isolation he is in -parents and teachers are the only ones in his life. He worries all the time how life will be for him. He is not very articulate and has processing issues too which make it very hard for him to connect to people and make friends. To help with anxiety and depression, his drs. have been asking us for a while to put him on meds. My husband is very for it, and I just cannot bring myself up to it. Atleast I know the reasons for his anxiety and sadness, but I don't want him to suffer from the side effects of medicines especially since there is no guarantee they will work.

He recently started seeing a new therapist who also strongly recommends medicines and feels therapy alone wont help. I feel I cannot avoid it any longer and must make an appointment with the psychiatrist. Is there anything I should know before we start ? How long is too long if we don't see benefits after starting something ? My husband is just convinced that the medicines help -its a matter of finding the right mix which the psychiatrist will do. I don't want my son to be a guinea pig but part of me wants to try it too as that may help him. How can I convince myself that it may actually help him ? Can there be any side effects which are show up later in life ? I mean if a side effect is visible, we can stop the medicine, but can they harm the body without us knowing in time to stop ? I am very nervous! Please help me come to terms with what I think is now inevitable. Thank you so very much for your advice ! !! Best to you

Don't do it. I have been on meds for 10 years and I'm addicted now. The doctor has given me meds that made me suicidal, homicidal, delusional, etc. My meds gave me a reproductive disorder, aggravated bipolar symptoms, and I will go into epilepsy if I don't take them. It's a BAD idea.

What does your son think about trying meds? At 16, he's old enough to be part of the decision.

The advice I always see on the ADHD forums is to start low and go slow -- never change more than one thing at a time, and allow enough time between dosage increases to really assess the effectiveness and any side effects. (With ADHD meds this is 2-4 weeks, it might be longer with anxiety meds since they take longer to build up in the body.)

I have been on meds for 7 years or so now for ADHD. I wish I had been on them as a teenager. They have made an incredible difference in my ability to concentrate and focus. I'm not completely non-functional without them, but it's close. I'm on a very low dose, but it's been life-changing.

I'd be a bad statistician if I said there wasn't at least a small chance that side effects might show up later; the same can be said of taking a multivitamin, or of drinking tap water, or _______________. I think your husband and the psychiatrist are right: it may take some time, it may take some fiddling around with dosages or med combinations, but if it gives your son some control of his life, it's worth it.

I've been on Risperdal for about a year. To tell you the truth, I don't know if it's helping. I still feel depressed and down. I never feel okay or happy. By the same token, I don't feel like going to lie down on the train tracks or jump off a bridge. I don't know. Maybe it is helping and I'm just unaware of it.

Another thought for you -- it might be good to try meds while your son is a teenager and still under your roof, so that you can keep a watchful eye for side effects and judge whether they are effective, rather than waiting until he is an adult and doesn't have someone who knows him so well to monitor things.

Know WHAT, specifically, you want the medication FOR.

Especially with ASD, be very educated.

Things they're likely to throw at it:

Antidepressants: I did about eighteen months on Prozac. It helped with the physical symptoms of depression quite a lot, but not really the emotional ones-- I could be miserable and filled with hate, but I got out of bed in the morning, washed my pill down with a couple cups of coffee, and I could clean house and scream at kids all day like a go-go machine (even 39 weeks pregnant). It did make it nominally possible for me to keep my mouth shut and smile about how miserable I was feeling (I was living with my hubby's parents and there was literally NO ONE that it was safe for me to talk to)...

...but it didn't do anything about how miserable I felt, or about the fact that I eventually let my father-in-law terrorize, bully, and browbeat me into beating and belittling my son.

That's the nature of antidepressants-- they fix the physiological symptoms, and they might take the edge off of anxiety. But they do not fix your emotions or your thoughts. That's YOUR job.

Antianxiety meds: I have never tried things like benzodiazepines-- I have always been too afraid of getting hooked. I DO know that my grandfather had Asperger's and depression and PTSD and some horrible anxiety disorder, and then he had a massive heart attack and a triple bypass (1981) and then he had a nervous breakdown (1982) and then they put him on Xanax. He was a MUCH happier man after that, even if he did sleep a lot.

Antipsychotics: Unless he is violent or delusional, I really can't recommend going down this road. I've taken Risperdal (it pushed me from depressed to suicidal and I'm still cleaning up what my therapist swears is PTSD), I've seen a friend take Seroquel (she was able to allow her ex-husband to repeatedly anally rape her so that he might permit her to spend a few minutes with her son, and she didn't see anything wrong with that, at least not on Seroquel), and I've seen my cousin go from depressed to delusional on Abilify and Zyprexa. I'm sure they have a time and a place (like, in the presence of hallucinations or when heavy sedation is called for), but it's limited. Actually a lot of drug companies (I know Johnson and Johnson has been sued over Risperdal on two different occasions, once for promoting it as a dementia drug despite knowing that it could kill old people, and once for promoting it as a miracle treatment for ASD despite the fact that IT'S NOT-- what they actually got busted for was neglecting to tell doctors to tell parents that it could make little boys grow boobies, but that's by no means the worst of it). I actually see an ad bar floating on the screen right now marketing Seroquel as an antidepressant-- I want to see AstraZeneca sued for false advertising (same thing every time I see Abilify marketed that way). Those drugs are NOT antidepressants, and they are NOT for the prevention of anxiety. The side effects ARE dangerous, and the intended effects really aren't much better.

Look-- If HE'S asking for meds, it's worth a try. Just understand what they will and will not do. And-- be leery of anyone who's promoting a miracle in a bottle that will fix everything.

I had a really hard time putting my son on meds for his ADHD. In fact, I refused to do it at first because I staunchly believed that kids are over medicated these days. I refused to be a part of it. I was worried about side effects, etc.

Then we got to the point where things became desperate. He was in a bad way. I suddenly realized that my strong beliefs against medicating were a barrier to my son getting the help he needed. When I learned that unmedicated ADHDer's are at an increased risk for high school drop out, substance abuse, and a myriad of other things, I realized there were side effects of NOT medicating my son that I had previously ignored, one of which was that he was miserable. I took a deep breath, and I allowed my son to try them.

The difference was remarkable.

My own strict adherence to my beliefs caused my son at least 6 months of completely unnecessary turmoil. I still believe that children are over-medicated these days, but I have come to also understand that sometimes kids need meds. I had exhausted other alternatives and my kid was suffering. I did the right thing, even though it never sat well with me.

I don't think medicating our kids should ever be an easy decision. I believe it should be something undertaken only after other alternatives have failed and only after research. The decision should be a very educated one. But I also don't think that we should allow our own fears to become barriers to our kids getting the help they need.

If I could go back and talk to the "pre-medication me," I would tell me to open my mind sooner and to honestly look at things through rational eyes, not eyes who's view was clouded by preconceptions and strong feelings.

I really feel for you, because I remember how tough this decision was for me. And if I am truthful, I have known people who have tried meds to no avail. You can't know ahead of time what the outcome will be. That's why you need to remove all emotion and attack the issue from a purely rational one. Know the pros and cons. Weigh the risks and benefits. And then do what logic dictates.

Best of luck to you.

my son is on meds and there is a major difference in him. Things have only gotten better for him and all of us. He is still the same child, I can just see that he is more in control and more focused.

good luck!

I would be skeptical of the medical establishment. There is a saying that. "if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail".

These guys usually have a conveyor line where the prescribe Paxil (or other SRI) for depression or anxiety and some other drug for OCD. This is medically different than taking insulin for diabetes. These guys really do not know what is causing problems. They are groping in the dark and using the only tools the government and the drug companies have approved.

If you are going to experiment, there is a whole world of things to try in the realm of nutritional supplements. You can do research on the Internet and discover things like Inositol for OCD, but there are tons of things to try. We have found L-Theanine and Lithium Orate to be helpful for my son. We let him experiment. Most supplement are useless, however, there are some that can really provide just the right solution. We do not require him to take anything. He is old enough (your son's age) to evaluate if something is beneficial for him or not.

I'm not a psychiatrist, or medical professional so take what I say with a grain of salt. In my experience, I've seen cautious and thoughtful psychiatrists, and reckless ones. Considering the symptoms, I'd imagine they might prescribe some SSRIs - which are effective at reducing anxiety. I'd be cautious if the psychiatrist prescribes a lot of medications at once, or if they prescribe any meds with heavy side effects / risks.

The meds to look out for are:
Benzodiazepines - which are effective at stopping a panic attack, but can be very addictive. They are often prescribed for people with very extreme, but infrequent anxiety - like someone afraid of flying on planes or public speaking. They shouldn't be a go-to for dealing with frequent low grade anxiety, which it sounds like is your son's issue. They may be prescribed as an emergency tool for your son, which is reasonable, but a good psychiatrist will make sure you understand that AS NEEDED means emergencies only.

Risperdal - or other antipsychotics: These are great for schizophrenia, and have been used successfully with severe physical aggression in people with ASDs. Unfortunately they've recently become trendy for ASDs, and so some psychiatrists will routinely prescribe them for anyone with an ASD. This class of meds has some serious side-effects, -most notably, severe weight gain, and (rarely) the symptoms of Parkinson's disease. They should be considered very carefully before taken. If the psychiatrist demonstrates a cavalier attitude about them, I would recommend seeking a second opinion.

heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of you ! !! your advice has helped me think clearly. All the best to you all ! !