This might get a bit long. I apologize.
I am a 25 year old mother of 3 (due with number 4 next year). I married a very sweet, smart, and hardworking man. He was very socially awkward and I noticed that a lot of people didn't like him for some reason. We married a year and a half after meeting and got pregnant with our ODD immediately.
ODD's first two years were terrible. She was constantly shrieking, never sleeping, always falling and hurting herself. I was raised by a narcissist mother who took glee in showing me that all of these things were my fault and she was a better parent than I was. (this woman also raised me to believe that ADD/ADHD/Autism were medical excuses for bad parenting) When ODD was 2 I cut my mother off after she put the last straw on the camel's back. We were moving at the time, and a woman at our new church approached me and mentioned that she had a child with sensory processing disorder and she noticed that my daughter had some of the same qualities. I hated this woman for a while, I felt like she was judging my parenting. After weeks and weeks of her preschool sunday school teachers telling me about ODD crawling into small places they couldn't reach her, and licking people all the time I did some research. I agreed that some of these things fit her and got her into a developmental pediatrician. I was also a bit surprised to see that my husband shared some of these traits.
At the appointment I mentioned my concerns and then he got to family history. I mentioned that my older brother in law was an Aspie and his son was showing classic autism signs at a young age. The pediatrician spent some time with ODD, wrote down something about "heavy genetic loading" and referred her to an autism screening process. Our military hospital here actually has a large child psychiatry program and I got a lot of support. I sat and discussed things with other parents whose children were being screened and I realized how similar all of our children were. I was crushed when the DX was made official, but when they referred her to ABA therapy and I got to talk to the therapist I felt like there was hope for the first time since I became a parent.
ODD is now five years old. I am homeschooling her (DH and I were both homeschooled). We toyed with the idea of private or public school, but private school was cost prohibitive and public school looked at her for 10 minutes and pretty much made me feel like I was a helicopter parent. ODD does ABA three times a week and is thriving. We still have our days/moments with her but I finally have the confidence and tools to parent her.
Ever since ODD's DX I have felt that my DH might fit into the HFA spectrum. He has done a lot of research and agrees. He is going to go with me to ODD's psychiatrist appointment next week to discuss what he has found. He is facing some professional issues due to his social and communicative problems. ODD's psychiatrist has always had a keen interest in watching my other children as they develop. My two littles are 3 and 2 and are both NT. We will be watching any other children closely without the fear of being judged.
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. My DH found this forum and suggested I join.
19 Dec 2013, 2:10 am
