Repetitive Speech

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Our almost 4 year-old AS kiddo has always been into repeating words and phrases over and over. For example, he'd look at the digital clock and announce the time until it changed. After that, he'd announce the new time over and over. You get the idea.

I'd like some input from the parents who have to deal with this aspect from their kids. What have you done to try and curb this behavior? There are times where the constant repetititions nearly drive me to the brink of screaming at my kid to shut up. **I have NOT done this.**

What I have started doing, however, is to gently tell him that "I heard him the first time". After a couple of instances, he has the idea. However, the next day it will seem like he has forgotten, continuing the same speech patterns. My question is two-fold:

1. Is this an acceptable approach that will spare the child's self-esteem? I know from experience that constant criticism and correction doesn't make anyone feel great. I'd like to hear especially from people who either currently or have previously had these repetitive speech patterns. What is the reasoning behind it? Is it more for the benefit of oneself that a phrase or word is repeated? Are you trying to let others know out of courtesy a certain fact? Please, I want to understand your perspective and not dismiss it as innane gibberish. I believe there is a purpose behind every behavior.

2. To the other parents: What have you done to approach this situation? Anything? Do I simply have to do my best to ignore it? I'm already doing what I can to maintain peace around here but sometimes my fuse is really short.

Any thoughts?

The best I think is try to make him aware that he's repeating... that's the worst, when you're always repeating, and you don't realize it. People make fun of you for that... I know... then you realize you do it, and you're constantly aware of it... and it makes you self conscious and nervous... then you get all weird... ARGH.

I don't know if there's a fix for it, my fix has been ppl making fun of me... then I get nervous...

At that age, my son would ask EVERYBODY (including me, his mother) my name about 40 times a day. Also numbers/sums and people's ages. If you said 29 he would say 2. (2+9 =11, 1+1 =2). I see it as a more sophisticated stim or stereotype activity.
It was really annoying, but it was his way to try to communicate. A little clumsy, but still. Also, it was something he did when he was in a "vacuum" - that is, he didn't know what to do and was bored/anxious, for example between two activities.
It helped my son when we started to tell him what to do when he is bored. At that age, my son resisted, but if we played with him for a while, he got into it. So by decreasing the time between "activities" there was not so much time to do these things.

My son was really stressed at the time. When he started at a kindergarten that suited him, he was far less stressed, and this also meant he stopped the behavior.

Hope this makes some sense!

I work with two DD clients who do this.I can feel your pain.I can not have my own thoughts when someone is doing this and it is like the fingernails on a chalkboard/water torturer,to me.

I do think he maybe practicing speech,which is a good thing(I remember when I was learning how to read and write I use to practice by writing with my finger on everything,my pants,the carpet the kitchen table.I also agree it is a form of stimming that needs to be replacced with more constructive stimming(I would prefer hand flapping to this...yikes)I do not how well he understands language but I remember understanding words more then I could use them myself(if you know what I mean.)I always wished my mom would let me know when I was doing something wrong before she got so frustrated that she snapped at me.Of course I also need her to explain "why".I would tell him....."You know how when.....________(fill in blank with some senory issue he finds annoying....loud noise,etc)happens and it hurts your ears and bothers you?Thats how I feel when you repeat something over and over.It bothers my ears."This may sound like sophisticated for a 4 year old and maybe is but I know that I understood things long before I could verbilize them and I dont think it would hurt his ego like saying...."You are annoying me"....thats the kind of thing I heard and didnt realize she meant my current behavior was irritating but that my very existence was,so I just stayed away from my mom and hid out in my room.

Krex, you hit the nail on the head with a lot of what you mentioned. My guy has been verbal for about a year and is making gains by the week. He is making a lot more meaningful back-and-forth communication. He does have more receptive than expressive language at this point.

One thing I forgot to mention was that he would keep repeating something until one of us repeated it back to him. No thank you! I'm trying to break him of that habit. I completely empathize with the nails on the chalkboard analogy. God must have a sense of humor because he gave me--the Noise Police--someone who makes a lot of *interesting* sounds.

I completely agree with avoiding the "you're annoying me" statements. The same thing pretty much happened during my childhood, too. The gentle reminders are the way to go over here. I'd hate to think my kid would have as much contempt for me as I did my for mother at the time. I'm trying to be the nicer generation without abdicating my authority.

I didn't know it was possible not to be aware of everything you are saying. If you kept saying, "It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....It's twelve thirty-five....", you wouldn't be able to remember if you said it more than once?

The coming years will be interesting. He'll probably go to the regular public elementary school. Thank goodness it will only be a K-2 building. That way, there's less chance of bullying. (Not that the chance will be eliminated, however.) I want him to know the reasons why kids sometimes pick on each other, instead of having to navigate the minefield without some kind of map.

Imo, tell him that it's annoying, and then talk to him about something else.

I know it sounds cruel, but if he's Aspie he has no innate understanding of social skills. If he is not taught what is annoying and what isn't, he's not going to learn the difference. What chances in later life will he have, then?

It's true that he has to learn most social nuances. However, he's an excellent observer and has shown to eventually blend in to a social environment. He's picking up that there are certain times and places he can do some of his stims, and when he cannot.

Yes this is normal for aspie kids. my 8 year old repeats alot of phrase i just tell him that he already said that and mommy does not need to hear it again, but he insists on saying it again, he is very headstong.

Echolalia is common in autistic people.

They often can not effectively control it IF it is of the "12:35" varietal. This may be a little Tourette-ish.

If you contact your school district about it, they may have a plan of action for you.

Telling him that his behavior is annoying may translate to him as "I think YOU are annoying."

Re-direction is a better alternative. Meaning that when he appears to be carrying on about what time it is, change what he is looking at and doing.

Offer him a chance to read a book with you----or cook dinner with you---or whatever it is that will help him change gears mentally.

My son (an autie) is echolaliac and these strategies work for us.

Hazelwudi has no children and posts in parenting forums. While she does offer a few interesting points...she has never had to raise an autistic child nor has she ever had to specifically deal with these issues as a caregiver/teacher/what-have-you.

have the same problem except mine movie talks also.... i told him he could do this all he wanted in the car or in the shower... when he tried to do it anywhere else i just asked him kind of kidding if he was in the car or shower he would look sheepish and stop to begin with tho(from age two to four) i honestly believe it was the only way he could communicate... now he does it less.... now he is doing exactly what you are talking about but i honestly think if i dont grin and bear it it will make him feel like maybe he should not talk at all.....i dont know why i think that i just do for him maybe not for yours tho.....
but do you repeat back to him what he says like if he says its 12.30 do you repeat back yes it is 12.30 my son once i repeat it to him at least some of the time he will stop again i think because he is trying to communicate....
how about insisting on same dialogue like if i told him something one day, i have to repeat it at the same time the same exact words and tone OR ELSE i guess thats a whole different topic sorry....

oops i guess u already answered that question that u do repeat back what he says.... honestly i dont think this is something you can break him of ... of course my son has other issues that take higher priority(tantrums really bad ones) that i am working on so i let this go for now.... but if u find something that works..... LET ME KNOW...

Yeah, I don't know if he is able to separate the [annoying] action from the person. Last night, for example, I came home from a meeting. We must have heard, "Meeting is all done." at least 3 dozen times until his bed time. Just for kicks (I'm assuming now), he said it again tonight. Mind you, we don't ever remember him doing a verbal stim like that on the following day.

It is puzzling but he remains a chipper guy for the most part.

Hi, My son also repeats alot of lines that he has heard in movies over and over. He also acts out certain scenes. Even with his computer games, he will act out some parts of the games, For example he loves the sims games, he will act as they do in the game.It looks ridiculous but he really loves to do it, so for the most part i just leave him alone, but it gets difficult in public, people often stare and wonder what the heck he is doing. Oh well.

I know you said, "no thank you" about repeating your son's phrases, but that's exactly what I did and still do. Copying is a teaching tool and reminds your son what he sounds like, for better or worse.
My son now thinks it's funny.
Really, it's possible to "forget" what you have just said. I have an excellent memory and yet, still forget that I have repeated stories. It's probably a stress thing or emphasis thing.
I don't agree that that saying, "you already said that, it's annoying" is effective.

It's hard because for those of us whose children were non verbal for so many years, start the eternal chatter, it's painful to have to say, "shut up already!"

This repeating of words is as I see it a way to learn the meaning of different intonations also.

This is one thing that drives me mad about my youngest, since he has to repeat scentences with different intonations for up to 30 minutes until he get's the clue. I've simply decided it's not worth a fight, so I step away. His brother and sister has by that time told him to shut the f*ck up several times by then... I have no problem with him asking questions, which I by auto answer.

The problem is more mine, since I'm the listening, observing, melt in type of person most people just feel familiar with (took me just 30 years to learn that skill), and I don't like talkative people, because it short-circuits my mind. And when I short out, I stop talking.