Hello graceecho.
I'm a sophmore in highschool who was diagnosed with asperger's early in elementary school. My best friend is a senior who also has asperger's. I've always found it much easier to make friends with other aspies. I never deliberately looked for people that showed signs of having AS, but most of the guys I found it easy to relate to just turned out to have AS as well as a lot of the girls I was interested in.
My community has a weekly event about 15 miles from my home that's essentially a "game night" for people on the spectrum. I've never actually gone because I figure that after years of public school, I've probably identified all the aspies in my town that are roughly my age & I don't think I'd be any better interacting with someone what has a different learning disorder than I would with a neurotypical. However, if there's anything similar in your area, it might be worth a shot.
Another option would be for him to look for people that share his interest and/or might appreciate his talents. Most aspies have one very specific interest. Mine could be defined as "security systems", but what that does or does not include is somewhat arbitrary. Anyway, I have a sister who lives in the city. It's about an hour bus ride away. She lives less than a block from a "hacker-space". If you'd like to know what that is, I'd suggest you look up Noisebridge (located in San Fransisco) and Brainsilo (located in Portland). These are both decent examples of what such a place is like.
In a place like this, I can find people who share my interests and respect my input whether they are (or I am) on or off the spectrum. Better yet, it's a meritocracy! The more I know about the thing that interests me, (and aspies tend to have a wealth of knowledge about their special interest) the more my social status there increases.
Whether or not you can help your son find a place like this depends on your son's interests. I know an aspie who's special interest is military history (mostly world war two pacific theater. He can tell you anything you might ever want to know about any battle the US fought against Japan and several things you didn't want to know). He's found other people who share that interest & has managed to make a few close friends despide being ostracized for the most part.
I know another aspie who's special interest could be defined as internet culture. He mostly hangs out with the kids at anime club & brony club (my highschool seems to have a club for just about everything) & has managed to do quite well socially.
Other than advising him to look for people with similar interests & considering that that it might be easier to relate to other aspies, I'd like to say that if he's okay where he's at socially, there's no need to change anything and attempting to do so may only serve to cause anxiety.
I'm not a parent, but based on what I've heard, I guess you'll always have some level of anxiety about how things are going for him...
02 Jan 2014, 2:03 am
