Pet Euthanasia?

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In a nutshell :
1) We must move before end of year.
2) Apts. allow 1-2 small pets & we have 2 cats & 2 dogs (1 dog about 60#)
3) Adult Daughter is an Aspie who lives at home
& I will be helping her a lot with independence etc asap
4) Her dad will be going into a nursing home within 4-6 mo. max with hereditary spastic paraplegia. At present is at home in hosp. bed.
5) Daughter able to manage grief at euthanasia of extremely ill pet in the past.
However at the possibility of euthanising (sp?) our diabetic cat ($$$) and our older dog (who has non-cancerous large cyst on her side) she had a major meltdown and was at best on the verge of hysteria.
*** What do I do? Time is limited... :/

I don't know your daughter at all, but my personal take is that this all may be too much grief and loss all at once for your daughter. Is there any way at all that the apartment managers could let you negotiate keeping all of your pets, if you put it to them that two of them are already possibly going to die naturally anyway, one being diabetic and one being elderly?

Could you explain to them that your daughter is autistic and to have to get rid of the pets before their time is going to cause undue stress to her? Or negotiate paying an extra pet deposit for the additional pets?

Or -- and I know this is harder -- find another place that would negotiate over this with you?

This is only my personal wish, as my pet (though I only have one, ever) is more than family to me and I could never, never euthanize just because a place I had to live forced me to lose that animal. I would find any other way possible to keep my pet or pets.

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Thanks for your advice. I'm going to keep looking for other places to rent & I will check with my potential landlord at the apartment complex to see if just paying extra monthly fees would be a possibility. I guess I really know I can't put her through that. Cindy

Or finding someone who does animal rescue who might be able to take in the ill cat or older dog?

Look for a foster home, in the UK there are such people who step in if say an owner had to go into hospital for an op or had a sudden illness etc.
I have an elderly cat and I have decided that when he is no longer with me, I will become a foster dad to cats and kittens rather than bond with another cat and be grief stricken when they die.

If you find a suitable kind person your daughter could still visit her cat and dog.

The reason she dealt with it fine in the past was the animal was probably excessively ill, and as such it was a mercy to euthanize... A diabetic cat, unless it is on its deathbed, is not ready for euthanasia... I know...I have one... so... in her mind, you are saying - "You cannot take care or your animals... (i.e. you are incompetent) so we are going to kill them"

It normally wouldn't be an extra monthly fee, but a one-time pet deposit, except in this case you could negotiate for the apartment manager to allow the extra pets as long as there are extra one-time deposits paid for each of them.

I once moved apartments with my two cats, and the manager said it's okay as long as I paid not just one pet deposit but two to cover twice the potential damage (although there never was any).

These one time payments are usually returnable upon eventual move-out, if the manager assesses the place and deems that no damage was incurred. Make sure that any discussion or agreement like this is written into your lease terms.

I also agree with those suggesting fostering of the two pets you can't bring, and your daughter could visit.

Although if it were me, I would still strenuously try to keep them all/strenuously find a place that will let me keep them all, and not have to go through the loss, no matter which kind of loss.

You might be able to explain the special circumstance of your daughter having Asperger's and how this affects her in regard to attachment to the pets, and in light her father's illness, the upheaval of moving, etc, she is undergoing a lot and it would help enormously for her to not also lose her pets too in all this. It's a genuine reason to play the autism card since she is indeed suffering terribly already at the prospect of all this loss. A landlord might take this into consideration.

Death of pets is inevitable anyway, but as someone else pointed out, it's easier to accept a necessary death, such as natural causes or illness-related euthanasia, than it is to accept just getting rid of a perfectly good pet before it's time.



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The second part of my answer won't be popular, but I feel that it's common sense.

First part; Ask the vet to find a home for them. Sometimes they know people who will take in sick animals. That's the best case scenario.

Second part that I'll probably get yelled at about; If you do have to put them down, don't tell her. Tell her you gave them away. This was done to me when I was a child, and I was sad the dog was given away but was ok with it because he was given to nice people with a big yard. They had him put down. I figured it out when I was about 25. I wasn't mad and I understood the fact that they were trying to spare me the grief and complete and total constant meltdown. I had developed an allergy to him, he was old, it was the 60's.

OliveOilMom, I won't yell at you, and I'm glad to hear that when you did realize the truth, it really didn't bother you that much. A lot of parents coped with the death of pets this way back then.

But even though you were fine with it, I'm sure you can understand that this is not the healthiest way to deal with these matters. Isn't it better to give a child and understanding of death by letting them into the process of a pet dying or having to be put to sleep? And indeed, this is what the OP did with her daughter when they previously had a very ill pet who needed to be euthanized.

The daughter did experience the full experience, but was able to cope because the pet was very, very ill and the euthenization was able to be rationalized and justified.

There's nothing wrong and everything positive about allowing a child to go through that with honesty.

However, the OP's case today is different. There is the ethical question of putting to sleep two animals whose time has not yet come, and the only reason to do so is not being able to find a housing situation that might accept the animals.

To a lot of animal lovers, this is a horrible reason to kill a pet. I would do anything to find a housing situation that did allow my pets, or try to negotiate or work with whomever I have to negotiate with.

The euthenization in this case should be out of the question, in my opinion.

Find a foster home if necessary, but don't lie to the offspring about any solution.

Some people DO resent the truth when it comes out, even years later.

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If you must do it, and I'm not totally sold that the animals are suffering to the extent that they need to be put down but that's me and this is your family and your situation, I would tell her something other than that you had them put down. I'm not normally in favor of sugar coating things, but in cases where it's just going to cause tons of stress, as long as she never finds out you weren't exactly square with her, I don't see the harm.

For those of you saying put them down, I'm wondering if you have ever seen a pet being put down? I worked at a vets office, and that was one of my jobs when the client wasn't wanting to be in there with the pet. First off, you can't always get a good vein. Somebody's holding the dog or cat and it's fighting because it's being held and you stick and stick and stick. I was a good sticker and usually got veins right off except on older animals whose veins were blown. Then they do just lay down and die, but it's not pretty. Many times with cats, when the owner isn't there is use a long needle and inject the drug directly into the heart. Cat veins are horrible to find.

Sometimes you get lucky and it goes good. Sometimes they will put in a hep lock before the client comes in so they don't have to see the whole big struggle. Then inject the meds into that. But they do NOT go gently into that goodnight. That's why when it's my dogs' time, I will have my husband or son take them out somewhere like in the woods to run or walk around or whatever, let them be having a good time and then put a .38 in the back of their head before they know it's coming.

I know it sounds horrible, and I would have thought so too, if I hadn't put down lots of them myself or assisted in it.

The animals apparently aren't suffering at all -- the OP is considering putting them down solely because the apartment they will be moving to has a two pet limit.

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Something I wondered... you have to move by end of year... you posted january 19... so... why is this a rush situation... 11+ months?