more problems!

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I've posted about my son's meltdowns, being hospitalised ect.

He started on ritalin, which is good, but isn't finished at the hospital yet, because the ritalin needs adjusting and he needs a thorough neuological work up (EEG was abnormal). This is at a different ward.

He is still children's psychiatric and he HATES it. He is supposed to be an in-patient, but we never got that far, I go with him in the morning and we come home in the afternoon. If I try to leave him, he freaks out.
At home, with the ritalin, he seems pretty good and is happy.
Today I couldn't get him out of bed because he didn't want to go to the hospital. I phoned the ward, they said not to force him, to try and talk him into coming, but he was as stubborn as a donkey.
At 10 o'clock, still in his pjs, he was supposed to have his second round of ritalin which he refused to take. He then had a HUGE meltdown, for no obvious reason, except that he had been in a bad mood all morning, and I had tip-toed around him so as not to "set him off".

I'm pretty sure he will refuse to go tomorrow, too. WHAT NOW? I don't think he will ever like going to the hospital or get used to it. He doesn't see the point. He wants to go back to his own school.
I can't force him to go - it would be physically impossible.
At the same time we're not finished out there yet.
Any feedback or ideas?

Ritalin (and all the other stimulants) were bad for my son. After a short while on them he became more irritable, obsessive, oppositional, aggressive, ect... Sorry I haven't read your first post. How long has he been on them?

Thanks for your reply! He has only been on ritalin for one or two weeks, but it does make him a lot calmer and less impulsive at home. The problem is his dislike of the hospital. We are going to have a meeting tomorrow to find out where to go from here, and I'm hoping his school will let him come back, and that he can be observed at school instead of at the hospital, as we seem to be at a dead end.

i'm sure it will sound harsh, but sometimes its not good to give them too much control.....some things we just don't have control over. sometimes i've been able to get my son to go places that he flatly refused to go, but had to, by saying that i didn't want to go either ( i didn't)...a treat afterwards always seems to help, too !

I appreciate the advice, Ster, and I also would agree wth you in a lot of situations. It ended up that the head doctor suggested we kept him at home, as my son was absolutely, autisticly "in a rut" about the place. (I don't know the proper term in English.)
So for now its home schooling until his through with medical examinations and what not. Apart from the fact that he can drive me insane (he is not sleeping well, so I'm busy from 7am to at least 11pm) it is actually quite fun doing maths and reading with him.
It sure is hard to schedule such a long day! The mornings are OK, but the afternoon and evening seem to go on for ever...

such a long day for you! ....is there anyone else around who could give you some time off ?

My parents and husband have been pretty good, but as a side kick, my son has reacted to the whole situation with total seperation anxiety! And here I agree with you - he can't be allowed to control too much
The hard bit has been having time to be ahead of things - buying school stuff, planning, making schedules, cleaning up!

really, for your own sanity, i'd try to impress upon hubby that you need to get away ! if the separation anxiety is that bad with your child, how about working with a timer ? you tell your son that you're going outside to have some peace and quiet for 5 minutes. set the timer for 5 minutes. then, ( as long as you have someone to watch him) go outside. try continuing this until you get up to 30 minutes~enough time to do an errand alone.
i can't stress enough how important it is to get time alone where you can just be you~and not someone's mommy....

Great idea! I'll try it out tomorrow.
I'm used to having plenty of other things to do, so it has been a big change and pretty isolated for me lately. We just seem to have been going from one "situation" to the next... with NO time to relax.

good luck!...let me know how it goes!

Working like a charm - thanks!
also started on melatonin ("natural" sleep hormone) today and it worked!! !

so glad you're finally getting some time away !

I've read several of your threads, Katrine. You really are having a tough time! I understand what you mean about no time to be with yourself. My son has always suffered from seperation anxiety. Is your son as interested in clock watching as my son is? The clock is my saviour at bedtime. D knows that when the clock says 19:00 it is time to go to bed. Since introducing this strategy, I've never had an argument about bedtime.

is he still on ritalin? they put me on ritalin awhile ago and i hated it. yeah it calms you down a lot, but it also changes your whole personality, so your not yourself anymore. i lost 10 pounds in three days because of ritalin, i would only be able to eat before i took it and after it wore off, because after you take ritalin you think of food as somethign disgusting, and even though your really hungry you ddont/cant eat.