Another hand-washing / face-washing question

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I posted a while ago about my son's challenges with washing his hands and got some good feedback. Well, a couple of things have become clear since then.

WRT handwashing, I notice that he actually hates the idea of rubbing one hand against the other. Is this a form of tactile defensiveness ? He loves to turn the tap on and leave his hands under running water, but refuses to rub them together. (We have since ruled out that it has anything to do with crossing the mid-line or bilateral coordination as he is getting better at both now).

The other thing is that he exhibits similar behavior with washing his face, except that while he loves to feel running water over his hand, splashing water on his face causes him to freak out and melt down. So, the past several weeks, we have been wiping his face with a warm wash cloth, as opposed to gently washing his face with warm, running water ! When he goes swimming, he also resists putting his face under-water. He can tread water from one corner of the pool to the other, but just won't swim as that would mean putting his face under water !

Does anyone have any ideas on how to desensitize him to these sensations ? Please help !

Thank you.

Hi HisMom. You're doing the right things. The solution is gentle exposure, and expanding uponnewly gained skills. With hand washing, maybe start with claclapping hands understood the running water. It makes a cool visual as the water sprays from the clap, and that might be enough if a payoff for him to bear the sensory discomfort. Start with one clap, them build up to clapping the beat to an entire song. You can sing together (or you can sing alone) while he does it. Be silly and make it fun, and don't tell him it's therapy. Just let it be a game. Just an idea!

Sometimes it is the soap or it could be the water itself. Can he rub his hands together with just water? Can he do it dry without the water? He may not like the reduced friction caused by water and or water and soap.

As far as the head under water thing, I had (have) that issue and never desensitized. I could never progress past whatever Red Cross swimming level that required it and it caused all sorts of issues at summer camp etc. I don't think it is just the chlorine, but the chlorine in the eyes is especially awful. I tried those goggles and water always seeped in. They may have better goggle technology these days out of materials that fit to ones face better. Just a thought.

try having him rub his hands with a washcloth

Lots and lots of kids not on the spectrum have an issue with water on the face. Some people get over it and some people don't. I enjoy swimming but I still have to sort of 'force' myself into the pool every time.

Yeah. This. It seems like if it's on "my" terms it's ok. Same with my daughter. Thing is, it takes awhile to figure out what those terms "are". A year ago, my daughter would scream, cry, and melt down if she got water in her face at the pool. Then we went to girl scout camp. Idk what happened, but she became "ok" with it if SHE was the one getting her face wet. Now she is like an otter at the pool (with goggles) and can handle (with great annoyance) a few splashes from other kids AND can take showers (as long as she has a dry wash cloth right out side to blot her face with). Up until we reached that point, I would wash her face with a wet or damp towel. It was the only way. She still flips out over the back float though.

OMG, until I read this, I totally forgot I used to keep a dry washcloth on the edge of the shower to dry my eyes, and a dry towel on the edge of the pool whenever I went swimming for the same reason. I hated water in my eyes. I still hate water in my eyes, but can tolerate it more.