Puberty Concerns

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I'm not a parent but I need a parent's mature advice.
My little brother just turned 11 last month and so, naturally, he's getting to be about that age. Recently, he's been asking me to put my bathing suit on or he wants to play a game but "this time with your bathing suit on" and I feel really uncomfortable about it. He's curious, I get that, but it's also upsetting on a whole different level with me being trans*male.
I've just been telling him, "no" or "that's rude, don't ask me that" but is that enough? I don't want to discourage his exploration of sexuality, it's a totally healthy thing but, as his sibling, I'm just so entirely uncomfortable with the whole ordeal.

I haven't mentioned it to our mom yet because, again, wow so uncomfortable.

Can I just get some advice from parents who've dealt with their kids going through the phase?

Does your brother have any cognitive impairments?

If not, then I would be matter-of-fact and upfront. Say "It makes me uncomfortable for you to tell me to put my bathing suit on. Stop doing it." No matter your orientation, your brother is old enough (barring some kind of cognitive impairment) to learn boundaries and what is and is not appropriate.

Sometimes it is good to ask questions back, then you can figure out what it is they are REALLY trying to figure out, but are too shy to ask. Or maybe they feel curiosity they are having trouble getting their finger on, and don't really know what or how to ask. Regardless, asking questions back can eventually lead into figuring out what they really want to know. Go slow and gentle, not leading.

So, maybe start with, "why do you want me to put on a swimsuit?"

If he persists and it becomes obvious it really is all about wanting to stare more than to get any answers to specific questions, you can get firm and say, "look, we are siblings. You can ask me questions and I will answer honestly, but staring at my body is not an option. That is simply completely inappropriate." If he STILL doesn't get it, you can add "the law says I should not do that and I don't want to get our family in trouble with social services. I know it may make not sense to you but that is the way things are and I need you to accept my 'no.' Just ask me questions. Be direct. I can answer your specific questions."

Does he have any books about puberty that he could read? They have various types for all different ages with varying levels of heavy stuff. Maybe suggest to your mom that she buy him one, even if you are not comfortable telling her about what is going on. (It would be better if you did tell her for the reasons already outlined, but if you can't bring yourself to do that, it might help him if he had a book he could read privately with no embarrassment.

Do you trust your mom? If so, I would tell her. Even if you have to write it down and leave a note to avoid the embarrassment. There are two reasons for this: 1) if this is puberty related, your mom needs to know so that she can prepare. Going through puberty with a child on the spectrum takes a delicate touch and your mom needs to be aware of the new dynamic so that she can effectively guide your brother. Plus, this may be only the tip of the iceberg with inappropriate behavior, and it's best to get in front of it and start teaching now before things go too far.

The second reason is that you have the right to feel comfortable in your own home. You matter, too! You can certainly help your brother gain understanding, but guiding him completely is the job of the parents. You get to be young, too! I just don't want you taking on all of the responsibility of getting this right if you have a parent or parents that are on the ball. Let them take it. I'm sure they've been mentally preparing for this already (puberty, not this specific issue).