First day of school, bully acts up...again

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Hi,
I recently put a post on here about a problem with a stubborn bully telling my kid that's he's dead, slamming him into a wall at school, and even picking on my younger son in a summer school program. It progressed to the point where the school wasn't acting on my concerns so we called the police. This was the last route I wanted to take but I felt we were left with no choice. An officer went to the families home and basically told the parents what's going on and told the boy to stop telling my son your dead, it's received as a threat, and the boys are really not friends so he should back off and leave my kid alone. The rest of the summer there were no more problems.
Today the first day of school, I was walking my younger son to his school, which is located fight by the middle school also. This same bully walks past me and says angerily go ahead call the cops!! I don't care!!. And keeps walking. I didn't want to further piss him off at this time so I said nothing. This boy is in 7th grade and he's taller than me, I'm 5'9. He has an extreamly athletic build. He could snap my son in half like a twig. So I emailed the special ed teacher who works with my son durning the regular school year and let him know what happened this summer and today. I said if there's anything my kids doing to bring this on please let me know so we can handle it. And please keep your eye on the situation because I'm concerned for my sons safety around this boy. I also pointed out because my son has aspergers, if the boy is genuinely nice to My kid or not, my kid will be friends with him because he wants to fit in and be friends with everybody dispite what's happened. I said my kid has been instructed to avoid the other boy when possible, but I'm not certain that will solve the problem.
I realize it's insane the first day back to school and I probably won't hear back until tonight or maybe even tomorrow. What the heck am I supposed to do about this kid? Restraining order?? I don't want to go to those lengths but I will if need be. Last year this boy slammed his knee through the window in the front door at school for no reason so we know he's got anger issues, if he's going to keep stirring the pot I'd be a fool to ignore it. I hope this is not a sign of things to come this year. Both my boys walk to school the same way this kid does. They should have the right to walk if they want, I'm not going to drive them and teach them to hide from this guy, but how am I going to get him to leave my kids alone??? We have to share a neighborhood and school district together peacefully somehow......sorry this may seem so unorganized, I'm frazzled at the moment.

I am sorry this issue has recurred.

Do your kids want to be driven to and from school? I ask b/c I would have loved if my dad had driven me. I also had bullies to deal with on my walk, and it was not good. I had a right to walk. of course. I should have been able to do so, but I don't think it is victim-blaming to keep that option off the table.

I really do think anything you can do to minimize contact is going to be better. It is not fair, I know.

(I hope this did not sound harsh. I reread this and I think a tone is being used I don't mean, but I don't know how to reword it to fix it. I apologize for that, as it is not what I intend. I intend more empathy than I think is coming out.)

Showing your younger son to ignore the bully without saying a word was a good lesson for him. I suspect that your example set the standard in his mind.

The bully didn't threaten you or your son, so stick with your line-in-the-sand of responding to his threats, not his ramblings. I would leave today's statement alone.

Good luck.

My boys both enjoy walking to and from school a lot. I don't want to have to take that from them. Plus my son with aspergers meets up with his one friend and they walk together. I'd hate to take that away too. Asdmommy no unsensative tone was received from you whatsoever no worries! I'm just going to wait and see if the bully tried anything at school today, and what the special ed teacher has to say about it when he emails me back. I hope the kid is just angry at me and took a verbal jab at it and that's all. I'll keep the story updated as it unfolds. Thank you for everyone's advice and support.

Also a few years ago we did try cub scouts and he quickly dropped out. He joins baseball every spring and chess club too. I am trying to find something else budget friendly he can join, but he doesn't agree so easy. I don't like too much going on during the school year either so well see. He plays frizz on Sundays too, ( baseball played with frisbee instead of bat and ball). But that ends same time chess club starts up.

If there's trouble, your son should walk toward an area with more people.

This is a very specific skill which is not taught nearly often enough.


PS I am not a parent, but I am a person who lives my life on the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum comfortably self-diagnosed. And I try and help out where I can.

So, I was surprised my sons special ed teacher not only got back to me right away yesterday, but also arranged a meeting with the boy, the principal, and his special ed teacher ( I didn't know he had one) and himself. He confronted him on what happened over the summer, and the boy admitted that much, but he denied saying anything to me yesterday. So he knows he's in trouble and doesn't want to push it further maybe? My sons teacher told me, the boy is on noticed, and being closely watched, especially if he's around my son. Then he separately touched based with my boy on it and reminded him to avoid the boy when possible and to report anything inappropriate right away. He told me please advise if anything else should pop up. I think this covers all the bases for now....I hope.. When walking to school today, we didn't even see him. So that simplified things a bit too. We shall see...

I'm so glad the school addressed this for you in such a timely matter. Maybe the boy is embarrassed or scared that his behavior now may get him in big trouble and that's why he said that to you? Or maybe he just was angry at getting talked to by the police? I hope that's all it was and not an indication that he wishes to bother your son (I am NOT sympathizing with the bully btw, just trying to relay that maybe his statement was not meant to be threatening and came out the wrong way? Hopefully? Does that make sense? I apologize if it sounds the wrong way, just let me know if it does because I don't mean it to). Maybe since you didn't see him, the bully will walk another route from now on so you won't have to worry as much about the walk at least. I wish I had some advice. We have our own bully here in fourth grade with my oldest that is apparently sitting next to him in class now. He has been repeatedly kicked, teased, and other incidents that we had to have the kid's desk moved away from him two years ago and was irked by the lack of action the school took (the teacher used the "I didn't see it" excuse and the kid had NO consequences to his actions). If he was that bad in 2nd grade, I don't want to know what this year is going to be like. Isn't it terrible having to play the "wait and see" game? Best of luck to you and your son.

I am glad they were on top of it. That is a good thing. I hope the kid knocks it off.

Make your son take self-defense courses so he will make less of an easy target and can defend himself in case he gets attacked again. I think all children should go on some form of self-defense when bullied; I myself started doing Karate & Judo when I was bullied and it built my confidence knowing I had nothing to fear from the bullies anymore.

Nothing is better for a child's confidence then going to school knowing there's no fear, as school is supposed to be a safe haven. Some form of self defense lessons can really aid in that sense of security, even if the bullying has somehow stopped it will do wonders in the future.

I had serious problems in school with gang of bullies, they were beating me almost every day - parents did nothing, school officials rejected to do somethingm, police - hah, in Russia cops can only take bribes. It lasted until in the 7th grade I wounded their leader with self-made knife in the math classroom. Sometimes violence is the only responce to violence.