Driving question

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Hi! I just recently joined and would like to know what you all think about this.

We have been working with my 18 yr. old daughter in regards to driving this last year. She has a permit, but she is not comfortable outside of a empty parking lot. We usually go out with her 2 or 3 times a week and she has become more comfortable, but is not ready to move out of that area.

She is recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but we have known she has characteristics that could be called NVLD since she was 6. She has moderate visual -spatial issues and has a learning disability in math. Also, she received OT from 1st-5th grade for fine motor difficulties. She also has generalized anxiety.

From what I have read, some people may not be able to or comfortable driving with having NVLD...I'm just curious as to what others think has to how much to encourage her ...or to give her a couple more years and try driving again? We realize she may not be able to for varied reasons, but we want to give her a chance to.

There is a business in our area that has an OT that teaches people to drive, so I am considering consulting them for an evaluation. But, I really don't want to stress her out about this. She does say she wants to drive and talks about what kind of car she wants eventually, so I am trying to figure out the best way to help.

i have a visual spatial learning disability. much practice has helped, but i still can't park consistently. i manage to get by, though.

Thanks for the reply! Glad to know that much practice helped and you're driving! We will encourage her to keep practicing.

Maybe in a little while instead of an open parking lot you could go to a more intricate shopping plaza, mall, or similar when it is closed- some place that has lanes or one-way areas, but when there would be no one else around.

If you have two cars or a friend with a car, eventually maybe you could get them to help you and coordinate with cellphones on speaker in a place like that [or an open parking lot] during a dead/quiet time before she even has to go out on the actual road and deal with other moving cars. You could set up what it might look like in a bunch of different situations: taking a left turn at an intersection, passing, etc.

This might eventually help because she could become more familiar with what it will look like in the rear and side view mirrors, where a blind spot could be [and what it actually IS], etc. It may help to compensate to some degree for the spacial difficulties if she has some practice with a "real model"?

Then when she gets on the actual road you can refer back to when she encountered it in the parking lot.

Just an idea, ask her what she thinks about it and how much time she wants to spend or if she has a particular goal in regards to the driving. She may have a time goal for herself or might just want to see how it goes.

I think the best place to learn to drive is residential streets rather than malls (especially when malls are open).

Residential streets are the "mellower" version of major streets and highways. Eventually, she'll have to encounter actual traffic conditions.

I think Temple Gradin once said that she learned to drive with lots and lots and lots and lots of practice, mostly on quiet back roads.

Since your daughter does seem to want to drive, I would simply keep up with the practice, advancing to new skills when she seems ready and backing off when she asks you to.

My son is 17 and does not have his permit yet; we can't really get him to prioritize the study he has to finish to be allowed to take the test. But I've told him that I consider it important that he know how to drive, even if he eventually chooses not to, because one never knows when they might have to take the keys.

For a few years now I've been narrating my driving when my son is in the car with me; he finds it helpful towards building an internal database on what to do when. I think that many with ASD have trouble with in-the-moment reactions and, thus, need to build a really big data base of experience before getting comfortable. All of which is back to practice, practice, practice, and more practice.

We do have manual transmission cars and many with ASD have posted that they actually found it easier to learn that way, because you are forced to understand your machine. We will see if that is true once my son finally gets his learning permit!

Yes, so I mentioned starting when the malls are closed- they won't have traffic but many of them have one way "streets" or lanes and traffic signs. It is a way to introduce even smaller steps even she is more hesitant than most.

I may not have gotten my point across clearly but the intention wouldn't be to learn entirely in a deserted mall parking lot and then go straight from there to the driving test.
One would move on to residential streets and such after but before testing/driving on their own, ideally.

If one has never tried staying in a lane [even a deserted mall lane] or seen what another car looks like approaching in the rear or side view mirror, especially if you have spatial difficulties, this could be slightly overwhelming on the open road.

I wish my parents had done some run-throughs using both cars, actually. This is just from my perspective of having spatial issues myself, etc. [Though they are worse now]

I agree with you on the closed mall to start--but, like you stated, one has to advance from there.

It took me MANY YEARS to learn to drive. I was 37 when I got my license. Now, I drive okay, and I park a little less than okay, but okay.

Hello again! Thank you all so much for taking the time to answer my question.

I really value everyone's opinion and think all of the strategies and thoughts will be helpful to my daughter. I just plan on encouraging her and keeping the practicing positive and eventually I think she will be able to do it. And if not or she decides she really doesn't want to, that's ok too...but I think these ideas will help me help her move forward and build her confidence.

Thanks again...Hope you all have a great day!

I'm 37 and I do not drive. I have had a learners permit and have driven on roads in the past but I do not feel comfortable or safe at all. I am happy to walk, or cycle or take transit or let my husband drive us places on the weekend. I'm simply not able to drive like other people can.

I do wonder though if I had driven more when I was younger if it would have stuck with me as something I can do. I'm glad you are encouraging your daughter to keep trying.