Does Asperger's sound like the right fit for my kid?

Post Reply New Topic

I have a six-year-old little boy who was referred to a child psychologist to test for ADHD, but then it was suggested that he may have Asperger's syndrome. We did the parent form, which showed that he may be on the spectrum. More testing to come, but it's kind of hard to wrap my mind around. My little guy is EXTREMELY talkative and will chatter incessantly with people.

He is doing an IQ test now (finished the first part last week). We don't know the score yet, but were told that he did extremely well, particularly with patterns (was doing stuff on high school level). The psych said his processing speed was very low though.

I know we'll get an official answer soon enough, but just curious what others think. I'll include my little guy's profile below.

Here are his issues or quirks:
-He has difficulty getting on well with his peers. He does okay with kids younger than him (takes on the big brother role), but is at a loss with kids in his age group. He thinks everything is intended to be offensive, gets upset when another kid as much as brushes against him from the side or behind, and is very argumentative. He also tattles a lot at school. It's not that he wants kids to get in trouble (and feels bad if they do), but he knows the rules and is quick to point out the infraction, even if it's as minor as a kid being out of their seat.
-He struggles with some fine motor skills. As bright as he is, he just can't get there with tying his shoes and he also struggles with buttons. As such, we have to stick with velcro shoes and snaps. Poor handwriting, delayed feeding himself
-He gets very upset with certain noises and will freak out/cry sometimes (baby crying, hand dryer in bathroom, a few things like that)
-He takes things very literally, which causes him not to get jokes a lot of the time. If I tell him, "Can I ask if you've ever ...." he won't answer me, he'll say "You said 'could you ask' but haven't yet." He's also very blunt and will make comments that others perceive as insults, but he's just being matter-of-fact and really doesn't mean to be hurtful, doesn't understand why it is.
-Bedwetting (never night trained despite many, many efforts)
-Little give and take in conversations. He will ramble on and on about science or superheroes, but often doesn't actually converse, just talks at people, also completely unaware that others get irritated or want to move on.
-Clumsy
-Struggles with friends on the playground because they don't want to do the things he is into (likes to go on fossil hunts, bug hunts, pick up trash to keep the grounds clean). He'll sometimes play on the swings or play superheroes, especially if I encourage him to play with someone instead of alone, but mostly he wants to do his own thing.
-Has full-blown temper tantrums occasionally
-Is huge on organization - keeps his toys organized by type in bins he took it upon himself to label with my label maker. He also has what he calls "collections" and keeps twigs (that he thinks look like fossils), rocks, feathers, etc.
-Has strange facial expressions at times (he will imitate certain TV characters expressions to show his surprise, that he is curious, etc.)

These are the things that make us wonder whether Asperger's is the right diagnosis, though, or if something else is up.

-He is so outgoing and will talk to anyone he meets. He will stop at a table leaving a restaurant to start telling people stuff.
-He's has a variety of interests. He is into anything related to science and superheroes, plus he enjoys drawing and making things with his hands (Legos, kinex, etc.)
-He loves to be held and getting a lot of hugs. He may not be big on the hands-on stuff with others, but loves to be cuddled by his mom and dad, grandparents (as long as we don't kiss him).
-He doesn't really do any stimming. The only thing close is that he will rub his hands or body with his fingertips, but it isn't an all the time thing or that noticeable.
-He does well with soccer when he can focus.
-He does okay maintaining eye contact.
-He doesn't harp on routine too much. He will get irate if we don't do something on a particular day (such as eat at a certain restaurant on Thursdays), but won't usually have a meltdown.
-He doesn't speak in a monotonous voice.

I know that's a lot, but any insight is appreciated.

Perhaps. But is it possible he is just very, very smart?

My opinion is kids on the spectrum have some kind of struggle early on though parents can sometimes find ways around. Think about what he was like when he was younger, they'll probably be asking, too.

It is a myth that all autistic people are quiet and introverted. My son is an outgoing chatterbox, but has terrible social skills. You can ask him what he wants for dinner, and he'll respond with a monologue about Legos.

try this brief test based on the criteria docs use:

www.iautistic.com/test_AS.php

you will have an answer from his docs shortly anyway.

We had some concerns when he was about 2-3 (extremely quiet, would line up cars or other toys with perfect precision for hours), but then it was like a switch was flipped and he started talking all the time, so we didn't think more about it.

It may be that, there is bound to be a lot of little quirks that come with that territory.

Are you in the United States? I don't think aspergers is diagnosed anymore. It's Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1, 2, or 3 (Probably level 1 in your case)

That said, I think there's a greater than 50% chance he has what used to be called Aspergers. There is so much in your description that reminds me of a younger version of myself (I was diagnosed).

I think I was quite social with strangers at that age until I was told what I was doing was inappropriate (interrupting conversations, etc.). Then I think I went to the opposite extreme for a while, so a word of caution on how you correct those behaviors.


That doesn't really sound any broader than my interests as a child.


I liked being hugged as a child


Well, I don't really have any more "me too's" for your bullet points. Still, I think that counts as stimming.


Some autistic people do have athletic talents. Jason McElwain, a high school basketball player, scored 20 points in the last 4 minutes and 19 seconds of a game


Shannon Rosa (blogger from squidalicious.com and thinking person's guide to autism) says her autistic son can't get enough eye contact.

I'd venture to guess that just about every autistic person has a few traits that don't fit the mold.

He doesn't sound average if he has very low processing speed and in other areas is working at a high school age at age 6. A lot of what you'll read here about kids on the spectrum can apply to kids with other differences. You may get some good ideas!

Being different isn't easy.

I should say that I am comfortably self-diagnosed.

And I think sensory issues are real issues. It's not just an example of a child being bad. For me, it's almost like I have less of a mental filter (although it's hard to know for sure, I only have my own human experience, can't crawl inside someone else's head a la the movie 'Being John Malkovich')

The times in my life I did better socially, my parents gently coaxed me to make a social foray but did not overpush, and also left plenty of time for my own projects.

Also, starting when I was in junior high, my boy scout troop was in the other school district. This turned out to be very lucky in that not all of my eggs were in the one basket of school.

Plains, I am from the US. You're right--they don't, but that's what the psychologist referred to it as (maybe so as not to upset us). On the assessment we did, it came back as "Moderate Autism."

Thanks for sharing that about yourself - even if it doesn't turn out that my son is diagnosed with an ASD, obviously I have a lot to learn and certain preconceived notions to drop.

Thanks for the heads up, will be careful about that!

Absolutely, I do look forward to reading this board.

Both the symptoms and the doubts you raised are just like my DS. I'd bet an Aspergers/mild autism diagnosis is pretty likely.

all that was true for me at six.

A number of the things that you've mentioned sounds like it could indicative of Asperger syndrome, including misinterpreting some things as offensive, getting upset about noises (sounds like sensory integration problems, one of the classic symptoms of autism), taking things literally and doesn't understand sarcasm or some jokes, monologues (talking about a special interest and has no give and take in conversations with other people) and mostly wants to do his own thing instead of playing with other children. Also, if he does have AS, then those "full blown temper tantrums" as you may call them are probably not temper tantrums at all but what they call meltdowns. Temper tantrums are usually controlled and used by the child to get what he/she wants while meltdowns are not and are usually the result of a buildup of stress etc and the child is unable to control them. I'm not sure that the things you've mentioned that you believe casts doubt on whether he has Asperger's necessarily means that he doesn't have it because every person with Asperger Syndrome is different. Although, it does sound a bit unusual for someone with AS to not have trouble with eye contact but again, I'm not certain that necessarily means that he doesn't have it.

the first set sounds aspergian indeed, also, the second set is not an indication of the contrary (even though it seems to be at first glance)

so was i, at a young age. however in my early teens (about 12, though i'm not sure on the exact age) i shut myself off from strangers completely, even now ( being 27), i have a hard time opening up, i must actively force myself to do so, and it takes a load of mental energy, so i prefer not to.

not too strange, he could be shifting and trying to find his first obsession, or he might have several; another option: "trivia knowledge", either broad or a quiz-category, can be an obsession in and of itself

a common misunderstanding; adversion to touch usually doesn't apply to those he is mentally/emotionally close with, which can even reverse.
i too love being hugged by my parents and girlfriend, the tighter the better really, but even the slightest skin-brush from a stranger makes my skin crawl

that is a form of stimming, also, the severity of stimming is directly correlated with stress and anxiety, and it can be supressed if need be

eye-contact is easy to fake actually

routine is more of a classical autistic trait then an aspergian one. it's not unheard of, but a lot less common

as you mentioned, he likes to mimic the facial expressions of TV characters, he might be doing the same with vocal inflections. if he is reasonably smart, this is a thing that can be tought, just like facial expressions and eye-contact

Last edited by izzeme on 17 Nov 2014, 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm going to say something possibly controversial: it may not matter.

Here's why: the issue is not what box your kid fits in or doesn't fit in - the issue is what interventions make sense for your particular, unique child. Our son was very similar to your son in fact, his initial assessment by the school listed him as "popular," which he was...until the pragmatics caught up to him, and then suddenly he wasn't.

We finally wrapped our brain around the AS diagnosis when we realized that when we treated my son as though he had AS, he did better - when we treated him as though he were a moody NT kid (how he eventually presented,) he did worse. By this, I don't mean that we thought less of him or behaved as though he was broken - I mean that when we followed the interventions, accommodations and protocols for a child on the spectrum educationally, socially, and physically, he did better. That is the point of any diagnosis, not the label - it's knowing what to DO, and a bit of help shaping your expectations (NOT lowering them.)

There are lots of important resources stickied to the top of this board; poke around up there and see if anything rings a bell for you. Second, I'd ask for a full assessment - ask in writing if you're going through a school - gold standard test for autism is the ADOS, but your child should also be seen by a speech therapist (yes, especially if he is talkative - pragmatic (social) speech is often an issue for hyperverbal kids; the instrument most often used to test that is the TOPL) and an occupational therapist to assess his motor skills/sensory issues/body awareness/level of arousal.

Much as we all want to support you, nobody on the internet can give you the answer you're looking for. It takes specialists in developmental disorders - and sometimes it takes a gut feeling on your part and a willingness to pursue avenues that you think will support your child best. Getting a formal assessment doesn't hurt anyone; IMO, more answers and information are better.