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At what age is it appropriate to tell your child that he/she has AS? I talked to my 5 year old tonight and I'm hoping that it might help her to better understand herself. I guess time will tell. Can anyone share your experiences with me?

I was never told and my parents would still need a ten year diploma in AUtism to even recognise it as a seperate human mentality. (With the exception of the 25yr old slobbering Autisitc)

i think that you should carry on a continuing conversation over the years in relation to her dx....only giving her information that she asks for, or you feel she is ready for. ie; a 5 year old might not exactly be ready for all of the details, but could understand: " the reason you have difficulty with "a", is because you have aspergers....the reason you are so good at "b" is because you have aspergers. We had the doctors test you so that we can get you help with "a", and so that you get to show others how good you are at "b". "

katiesmom, our son has been kept abreast of his diagnosis as it continues to develop. One thing my wife and I have found in dealing with children is they are people and deserve to be treated as such. Treat them like thay are capable of understanding, they are. There is a saying, I think it comes from a G I joe comercial, "Knowing is half the battle". You will have to deal with the child's level of understanding and it is a continuing process not a one shot deal. Don't let the dx become an excuse for misbehaving, but a position of strength from which advancement can be made.

ster, you are good

Thank you so much for the responses. I basically did what you said, ster. I tried to focus more on the "stuff you are good at" and talked very briefly about the "stuff you are having problems with". My greatest concern is exactly what Corsarzs said about not letter her use it as an excuse to misbehave. We are at our wits end right now because she is fine most of the time at home but school (she is in a Pre-K program at a Montessori school) is tough. Academically she is a whiz but she's like a ticking time bomb when it comes to behavior. One minute she is fine and the next she explodes. After an explosion, it takes days and sometimes weeks for her to get over the anxiety of what she has done and she worrys that everyone is angry at her. She even gets physically ill sometimes (headaches, tummy aches...).

On a funnier note, she came up with a really silly name for it. She didn't like the word "Aspergers" though she says it better than I can so she called it her "brain boogers".

I don't feel that Roo is yet able to understand the idea of autism but he is aware that he is different.
It would be difficult for me to summarize what my approach to balancing this is, but I do have a good example of it.

When we visited his paediatrician last month, she began talking to myself and his dad very quietly, almost inaudibly to us, while he was playing.
When asked why she was doing that, she replied that it was because she didn't want him to think she was talking about him.
My reply was that if he did think she was talking about him, it would be because she was! and asked her to speak to us at normal volume.

He knows he's not visiting her for her benefit, or for his: he knows it's because he's different, but that it's not necessarily a bad thing.
I think that to hear hushed voices may make him think there's something "wrong" with with him and conclude that something is a lot worse than it actually is.
I want to keep a place open for him to be the 4th - actually the 1st! - voice in that discussion, regardless of whenever he is able or willing to take it.

I also think Katie having her own name for it is a good thing.
It's her Aspergers so she can call it what she likes.
I'd never thought of it before but it's certainly something I'd like Roo to do if he wanted to

glad the advice helped !
just keep in mind that any kid, aspie or NT will from time to time try to blame their behavior on someone else or something else. it's our job as parents to not let them get away with it.

Whenever we visit a doctor with Z we always ask them to speak to him. He is much more comfortable if he knows what is going to happen, whether it is stitches or a change in meds. Never underestimate what your child understands. Sometimes it is more than we do.