Yes you can take away an x-box from a 10 yr old aspie

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This post is to my fellow worried Moms and Dads of children of Aspergers.
My 10 year old son found what he thought was peace while playing on his x-box all day, every day. I was happy that he had found something he enjoyed so much, that is until he didn't enjoy it so much. What I mean is this; he played so long and so hard that his body hurt, his mind became frustrated at loosing. He played online, so that was nice to see him interacting with other kids his age, but sometimes there were older kids with bad language and bad attitudes. That, I didn't like.
I noticed that the x-box was becoming more of a problem than a help, but I still didn't have the guts to take it away or even try to minimize the time he spent playing call of duty or minecraft and cause that hour long, day long, or week long melt down that according to him nothing but having the x-box back would cure.
That is until I opened my credit card statement and found $60.00 worth of charges from, you guessed it, the x-box. I went into straight parenting mode, not (Asperger aware/sensitive) parenting. I didn't get any push back what so ever when I banned his use of the game until I saw fit to reinstate playing privileges. Understand that his need for a schedule is paramount, but he believed my statement of "if you push me for a time when I will give your x-box back, you won't like the answer, so leave me be until I figure this out'
There was no melt down, no argument, no insistence of returning it, no spiteful behavior at all.
So what has he been doing with his time you ask? He has played his violin, played legos, played with his brother, washed dishes, walked the dog, taken his baths, cleaned his room, made his bed, watched tv with the rest of the family, went with us and helped pick out our Christmas tree, attended an Aunts family dinner. These are all things that he was missing out on when his mind was buried in the x-box. This is not what I expected at all. I am super happy and excited for things to come.
So, parents, what I am trying to say is, yes you can pry them away from their precious game system and they will actually find many other things to do.
Good luck and Happy Holidays to all.

Good job!
I support your use of straight parenting approach to ban xbox until you see fit to reinstate privileges.
It is great that your son is doing many other things now.

Great results!

The kids on the Xbox are just going to call your son bad names when he messes up in the game anyway.

I know this isn't the point of your post, but did you find out what the charge was for? If you purchased the Xbox Live subscription with your credit card then it will automatically renew when the subscription is up, with the only way to prevent this being to call Microsoft and cancel it. The cost for an annual subscription is $60. So it may not be entirely his fault.

Well good it had positive results, but as the other poster suggested it might not be something he did...in which case even if he's not showing it he may feel he got punished for no reason, if he's even seeing it as a punishment. I suppose if I had a kid I wouldn't want to entirely ban them playing video games on a console unless it really seemed a fair punishment, if they where spending most of their time on it then I imagine I'd want to put some limit on it...but I don't have kids so I don't know.

Do find out the nature and origin of the charge (so you can be aware if it was innocent, or explain it to the kid if it wasn't).

Other than that, "You go, Parent!!"

"Autism/Asperger's aware/sensitive" doesn't mean you have to let them be totally autocratic and/or completely kiss their little AssBurgers. That usually doesn't end well.

We CAN learn, and we DO learn. Sometimes it's just messier, louder, tearier, slower, and requiring of an unconventional approach.

Minecraft is a great game for kids. Call of Duty is for adults.
My husband and I are both avid gamers, and our son (nine) won't be going anywhere near that game for many years. We don't even allow him to be in the same room when we play "M" rated games, just as we don't take him to see "R" rated movies.

You can take an xbox away, but can you find a happy medium where he gets to play sometimes but not excessively? I think striking that balance is a harder challenge...

Do keep us informed of your progress here. My son is 13 and on computer gaming constantly. Not only is he gaming but searching information, especially political news. I think this increases his anxiety and I am contemplating ways to change this.

Even if your son may not have made the charge, I still think taking it away was good because it was consuming his life and controlling him. You want your child to be in control of his interests, not have them control him. But when he gets it back, you can still minimize it by limiting how long he can play it for and when so he learns to control his interests and not have them control him. I do say about us aspies we want to be in control of our interests, not have them control us.

I liked to read all the time as a kid....parents never saw it fit to take away that activity as punishment

But then I wasn't really particularly bad behaved, for a long time I was kind of afraid to break a lot of rules even very small ones even if it was more likely than not i would get caught so yeah. I did get grounded from t.v and computer a few times as an adolecent and aside from that was limited to like an hour a day.

That was me, too-- always with the nose in the book. They never saw fit to take it away...

...and, looking back, perhaps they were a bit overly indulgent. Even of something as "innocent" and "constructive" as reading. A few less books, and a few more experiences, might have made Jill a less dull girl.

At the same time, I kept my grades up and did my chores and did not steal books or steal money to buy books. Had I done that, I somehow imagine that my reading time would have been seriously curtailed.

In the real world (and little Aspies do, in fact, inhabit the real world), abusing a privilege (whether it's unauthorized charges or use that more closely resembles addiction) results in losing the privilege.

It's not good for anyone to swim in something to the point of drowning in it. And there's a bit of a line between "accommodation and acceptance" and "ass-kissing." Asperger's doesn't mean that you have to leave them to their own little world, of their own unrestricted choosing, every free moment.

I've got some ADHD kids; I'm sorely tempted to make the gaming devices disappear. Not because indiscretions have been committed, but simply because they're missing out on the rest of what life has to offer.

My only sticking point is that it DOES seem disrespectful...

...especially when one of those ADHD "kids" is the XXL model who earned the paycheck that bought not only the game and the system it's running on, but the TV set we're viewing it on, the electric we're running it with, and a significant percentage of the living room we're playing it in.

Of course, if the game systems were to disappear, more activity would be had and less snack food eaten. Weight would be lost. And my "big ADHD kid" might get more time in which to enjoy what life has to offer...

The absence of any accommodation is self defeating and unkind (and possibly a form of abuse).

OTOH, entirely too much accommodation is self defeating and unkind (and possibly a form of neglect).