Is lack of motivation a central problem?

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As a child and a teen I can remember just not caring or having motivation to do things, even things like talking or communicating. Even though I COULD, If I saw no reason to I wouldn't, and I didn't care about impressing anyone even when it counted or would cause consequences to me(to be honest I often did not understand the consequences I would face too).

This would cause my parents and others to assume I couldn't at all, but when I had something I wanted well I would focus and move a mountain pebble by pebble to get it. Funny enough with my parents that caused them to oddly say I was "faking" when I finally did do it. Like they assumed I couldn't, but somehow could fake it(it doesn't make sense to me either).

I see the same thing in my son, I mean I can't get him to do something he isn't interested in. But take something he wants and lock it behind an elaborate puzzle that has to be solved to unlock it, and he will probably have it solved within the hour and he is four.

It makes me wonder if this is a central problem with some ASD kids, the lack of motivation looks to parents and evaluators and mental health professionals like a lack of ability.

The real thing that haunts me is there was nothing my parents could have done to give me motivation, it always had to be internal and it makes me feel a bit helpless.

I don't have children but I was a child. My sister was much worse than me as a child.
I was going to say the same thing about motivation having to come from within.

Though my parents were quite switched on they would find something that did motive us, for example power rangers. And then they would make a star chart or 'ranger chart'. Everytime we did something like go to school without screaming the house down or try to do homework we got a star. And 10 stars would get a toy.

I'm not sure if that would work or not. But I thought I would share my parents method.

Very good, this is gamification!

I used to call it lack of grit but it runs deeper its a lack of internal motivation.
It runs in my family and not just with the people suspected on the spectrum as well.
With my sister the lack of motivation to do schoolwork even read was strong until she found Jane Austen books as a teen. My dad never got the internal motivation to overcome his LD and learn to read.
Though I was able to help him get over his issues with singing in public.
I have friends who don't understand that lot of children don't have internal motivation. They finally understood when I told them I am teaching internal motivation through rewards.
Not even everyone on the spectrum has this issue and many people not on the spectrum has issues with it.
Its harder to have internal motivation when everything is harder.

Sometimes I think that my kids are lacking in motivation / just don't want to do it, but then I worry that if I'm wrong about it, that's worse. It annoys me when I think of it that way, and I'm more likely to get impatient with them, so generally I try to assume that there is something actually holding them back- they're not just being a headstrong brat. If I'm wrong, I think I'd rather be wrong that way, because getting impatient, yelling, taking away privileges, etc. doesnt actually accomplish anything anyway I find, and I don't want to punish them for something out of their control.

That said, I believe my eldest son is intelligent, however he has no communication method (other than screaming and violence) so if he doesn't do something, it's assumed he can't. Sometimes I think we're grossly underestimating him and his assigned work is so ridiculously babyish, he probably thinks it's a huge waste of time. But then I think, if that's the case, why doesnt he just do it super quickly to demonstrate that he can do it, and needs a greater challenge??

I'm lost in this area... I wonder about it all the time.

I think they are not necessarily motivated by the same things or have the same goals. They don't have a long view of things. like a parent. either, so it can be hard to convince them to work on a skill that may not seem important now, but is crucial down the line.

The main things that are important in the short run are special interests and sensory things, at least for us.

They need to see the point of doing whatever the thing is (unless you have a rule-based aspie for whom making a rule is good enough) and weight the long term benefit accurately. In addition to that they have to combat impulse control/immediate interests and keep those thoughts at bay.

Not so easy.

I don't like to do things if they interfere with my special interests.
I don't feel like I can do anything at any moment, but I doubt that people generally feel that way.
I have high internal motivation for learning, so I had no problem doing school things.
Whatever I hated doing and procrastinated, I would still get done at the last minute.
Deadlines seem to help me get things done.
I read a study in which they gave autistic and neurotypical people easy tasks with small reward and hard tasks with big reward, and the people were allowed to choose which tasks they did, and the autistic group as a whole chose hard tasks with big reward more frequently than neurotypical people.
Maybe this is an approach that some parents might try, challenging the child with a hard task (could be made of lots of small tasks that you want them to do, but presented as one hard task), and give more reward than normal, like some amount of money that a child considers large.
Maybe this would only work if the child is not used to doing easy tasks with small reward though, and autistic children may be too used to doing this, if they have been trained using aba methods.

I am not certain "motivation" is the right word, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. I think it has to do with some kind of....internal initiation switch. I find with myself and with both of my kids, it is often NOT an issue of motivation. It is an issue of being able to initiate, and sometimes there is a complete lack of "spark" to initiate the thing. There are plenty of things that I enjoy doing, but do not do. Not because I am not motivated--I enjoy it--but because I cannot seem to start the wheels in motion. The reason I hesitate to call it motivation is because "motivation" has both a volitional feel and an implication of desire.

I also think that declaring someone "unmotivated" is just a short step away from declaring them "lazy." I have found that when I considered myself or one of my kids unmotivated or "lazy," it doesn't seem to do much to fix the problem. However, when considering it difficulty initiating, it is easier to "fix." All one has to do is to figure out how to get it started.

Although I think that's true to some extent for anyone, spectrum or not, I do think there is the social factor that is somewhat unique to those with ASD. Many typical younger kids, for example, are motivated by pleasing others, especially parents/ adults. My son has come late to the "want to please my mommy" stage, and he's rarely inclined to please many people besides himself and mommy. Therefore he is generally not "motivated" to do things that don't please him, even if doing them would please adults. This includes doing assignments he doesn't understand. He loves to learn, but grades hold little motivation for him, therefore his motivation for doing well is for the love of learning. No surprise he excels in math and science and has a lot of difficulty in language arts. He doesn't see the "learning" in language arts, he just sees "stupid" assignments that teachers want him to do. There are no facts, no hard science, and therefore no interest in language arts.

So I think part of the perceived lack of motivation is actually a different level of wanting to please others than others may feel.

My son has ZERO internal motivation to do ANYTHING BUT STIM. ALL DAY LONG. If you let him, he'd run back and forth, waving a stick in front of his eyes, and squeal while he's at it. Visual and vocal stimming are ALL he cares about, and there is really NOTHING I can do to get him motivated to take an interest in the world around him. Mind you, I don't grudge him his stimming, I just wish there was something - ANYTHING - that he would take an interest in that did not involve visually flashing a stick in front of his eyes or making loud, unearthly noises.

My son's progress is very very slow. Not because he's unable to learn (like the district wanted me to believe) but because he DOES NOT WANT to learn. This haunts me, too, and makes me terrified for his future. It's one thing to be ABLE to talk, ABLE to do, but another to not only not have the skills but also not have the motivation to gain them. If he had the skills but didn't want to use them, I'd not be this worried or depressed over his future.

I just pray every day for some form of lightning to strike him and to introduce a desire and curiosity of the world around him in him. IF / WHEN that happens, he'll take off. Once in a blue Moon, I get rare glimpses of his startling intelligence and that makes me really cry. I know he can do it, I know he is a brilliant kid, the sad / pathetic part is that he just doesn't want to.

Sorry, you posted for support, but I just had to get that off my chest.

Maybe a stupid question, but maybe the thing that was hard for NTs was easy for the autistic kids and/or the thing that was easy for the NT kids was hard for the autistic ones.

I say that b/c my son would way prefer to do a "hard" one-step thing, then something with too many steps, that is technically easier, but more tedious. I don't think issues with multi-step things is unusual, b/c it is is one of the questions on the criteria for little ones to get diagnosed. (In fairness, that has to do with following multiple step instructions that are usually given verbally, so there could be auditory processing concerns there, too)

He would also rather do a multi-step problem that is not tedious, then anything tedious. So, basically hard but single step>multistep>tedious, is his line of preferences. I don't think that is unusual either, as I hate doing tedious things, too.

We have never done any aba (other than the analysis part for behavior.)

That is a preference for sensory experiences over things he doesn't understand are long-term priorities and can't weight properly. It has nothing to do with intelligence. As was stated earlier little kids learn things they may think are dumb, to please their parents. We don't have that tool in out tool box, and even when we do it tends not to be a powerful one. The sensory issues can be even harder than special interests b/c the need is almost primal and necessary, in a way I cannot articulate as well as I would like.

There is little I can do to compete with sensory or special interests. The best I can do is to try to integrate what needs to be done with what my son wants/needs. Metaphorically, it is like hiding a pill in a piece of cheese to get him to swallow it.

It gets better with age, in some aspects b/c at least a logical argument can be understood, but even then it is hard to compete with the joy of those things.

That is my REAL fear. The need for sensory stimulation is so powerful that it is, indeed, primal, and NOTHING can compete with that need / satisfaction. I really do hope it gets better with age because there is no real hope for him right now, although I know that he has the intelligence to learn and progress. I have no intention of ever wanting him to stop seeking sensory experiences, but I am at that point where I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and clueless about HOW to help him learn despite these needs (cravings, if you will).

Quoted for actually understanding the issue.

I haven't read all the replies yet, but this jumped out at me:

I suspect a lot of things are just so hard that he makes a very logical cost/benefit analysis and decides that most things just aren't worth moving a mountain pebble by pebble. He's appears unmotivated, but he's not going to waste energy on something that appears to be impossible. The solution is not to find ways to increase motivation, but to figure out how the tasks can be reduced down from mountain-sized to pebble sized.

In all of my years, you may be the first person to ever agree with me or even understand what I am talking about. Perhaps you, me and my kids are 4 peas in a pod who do not share a common experience with others.