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I just got declined DD services through DHHS again. They want documents from his school years that either never existed or no longer exist and unless they have documents stating he had DD in school (before age 18) he will never get services in Nebraska the statute states they must have documentation..... Okay, I get it. It's gonna be up to me to provide services and training on independent living. So what do I do? is there a book out there somewhere that I could read and figure out how to set up a program for him that I could implement with him? I will not give up on him, the the system will not help him, I will because I'm the mom and that's what I do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

You can start by teaching him how to do household chores, if he doesn't know how.
Then, he can do the chores while you are at work.
These are needed for independent living.
Anything is better than sitting around with nothing to do.

By typing "life skills" into the Books section of Amazon, I was able to come up with the following.

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1& ... e%20skills

The best plan would be highly individualized. What does he know now? What does he need to know? What are his goals?

Can you give us more information about your son? What, in your perception, prevents him from living independently now? What is his perception?

I haven't read this yet, but plan to soon:
How to Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Asperger's by Jennifer McIlwee Myers and Temple Grandin

Another book by the same author was excellent: Growing Up with Sensory Issues: Insider Tips from a Woman with Autism by Jennifer McIlwee Myers

My son does live alone in an apartment, him and his cat. He has some ability to be independently but he doesn't always shower, he eats junk food (lots of corn dogs), he doesn't clean his apartment, he can't organize himself to do laundry (just tonight he called me and says I just can't figure out when to do laundry") and he is bored most of the time (no friends). His has huge anxiety and that holds him back from a lot of opportunities. He also doesn't want to try anything new because he thinks he will fail. He isn't able to or doesn't want to face the anxiety and learn to use his coping skills to succeed in new situations. I just ordered the book mentioned in the previous post so I can work with him on his independent living skills.

Is he getting therapy for the anxiety?
It seems like that is needed to get him out of this cycle of nothingness.

Yes, he gets therapy from a psychologist. He won't go weekly however. How do you tell what is simple behavior, laziness and what is really Asperger's? Truthfully, he's driving me crazy. He just won't make a move to improve any portion of his life.

While I am not on the spectrum, I do have ADD and some Aspie-ish traits. As such, I have issues with executive functioning. I have problems with task initiation. It looks like laziness and/or lack of motivation on the outside. But it is neither. Sometimes I cannot start things that I want to do. I don't even know how to explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it. I can look forward to doing something all week, and then the weekend hits, and I just....I just can't get it started. Even though I enjoy it and want to do it. I don't know why. I find it is more difficult the longer I have gone without self-initiating something. Is it possible he needs you to put the ball in motion? Get a little traction?

Is it possible he is depressed?

Possibly he is depressed as InThisTogether suggested.
Perhaps his psych is not effective in getting him to do any little thing to improve his life.
What do they talk about in sessions? Feelings or actions?
I find that action-oriented psychs are better in terms of getting people out of ruts like this.

They work on ways to cope with his anxiety, which he chooses not to use and just avoid any situations that cause anxiety. He is diagnoses with major depression, he is on antidepressant, antianxiety, antipsychotic meds. He has a huge fear of failure and just won't try anything cuz he figures he is going to fail so no point in trying, even something as small as cleaning his glasses, he says he never gets them clean so he won't try to clean them anymore. Well, just look through the fog then, I told him, cuz I am not going to do that for you.

This is such a bad situation for him and you, that he has become so avoidant and won't try anything.
It really requires at least a small effort in some area to get going out of this deep hole.
How long has he been like this?
Was there a period in his life when he was more active and had more self-esteem?
This is the not the first time I have read from a parent this kind of story about their adult child with autism.
I wonder if there are others who have gone through this and got out of this situation over time.