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The special education teacher has me so frustrated, she's been doing secret tests I knew nothing about all year, some on material my child never saw before because apparently she doesn't speak to the math teacher about students progress. And I can't get someone else.

My child is NT but with LD, she apparently easily picked up on the lack of communication and it's so hard to keep her trying when she thinks she's too stupid to succeed. Makes this poor behavior so frustrating.

What's the best thing to do, now? And how pleasant is it necessary to be? And how persistent can I get away with being? Some part of me is having trouble with the supposed expert presenting new material as part of intermittent testing with the advice to my LD child if she hasn't seen it before just not to worry about it.

Guess I'm having trouble adjusting to her LD

Is there a central person like a diagnostician you can talk to, to avoid confronting the SPED teacher?

I would try to talk to such a person about the secret tests. What are their purposes? What case is she trying to make and why? (You may already know this part, and if so tell us so maybe we can help you better.)

I think you need to find out why these tests are being administered, and then you'll know how to respond.
Is it something the state requires? Is it an attempt to measure progress in some way? Is it some kind of busy work?

It seems like they should inform you if they are running tests that are not the standard assessments. I would find out about this, and about which tests, and why material she doesn't know is being presented. This would really bother me too. I don't think they are allowed to run evaluations on your child without your consent.

I don't think it is being too persistent to address this at all, don't let them try and make you feel that way. You have every right to know.

I don't think I can talk to the psychologist who recommended math help. Because my child's primary need is reading instruction, I ignored they added math support that didn't seem to be happening and without providing additional time. And since the sped teacher wasn't providing any instruction, I foolishly assumed she'd forget about math and spend her time on reading instruction. Instead I've assumed my daughter was whining when she came home saying other children got all the attention and just discovered that math tests were occurring, no report to me or the math teacher, and the only instruction being after she does something wrong on a test......I know this doesn't seem like much, but I have trouble coping with deceit, even like this where I'm sure she meant no harm.....but how did the sped teacher think it ok to be testing my child in math and no communication whatsoever with the math teacher.

I don't mean to be vague, it's tests to measure progress but no instruction, my take on it is not enough time and discomfort with math by sped teacher.

I've emailed the sped teacher and math teacher and the math teacher but I'm not a great communicator, get confused in a group conversation....I'm scared having to ask people to talk to each other who can't figure out this matters. And I don't do the balance of confronting but being polite and avoiding too much intensity....and if we meet having to remember the eye contact but no staring.....this is people politics that makes me afraid. But I don't think doing nothing seems right, don't LD kids need information presented in a well planned fashion to learn? I don't want to let my child down and overfocus on this if its small, or let it go if it matters. It doesn't seem like the tests help her, and it's time away from instruction for no gain and the small loss of her feeling confused and frustrated when something is unfamiliar that makes her anxious and reduces her ability to learn.

Help??

It took me a long time to respond to ASDMommy and I saw others responded in the meantime, thank you. I worry I'm overreacting and that helps nothing, thank you for understanding. I am mad at myself for trusting the sped teacher told me she would just work on things as and if requested by the math teacher. I'm sure she didn't mean to lie to me, but that was dishonest. And to me, testing my LD child without first instructing her; that's dishonest, too.

I hate lies. But I am pretty sure I shouldn't say sped teacher lied anywhere but WP

I think the way to approach this, for now, is just to view it as "needing to know more information." Your daughter is telling you that she's having some tests, and you would like to know what these tests are, and why do they seem completely unrelated to the math she is learning. It is a totally valid question. It is not weird, annoying or pushy of you to ask.

To measure progress, yes

It's hard when you're not sure what the process is, who is supposed to be communicating what and all that.
Sometimes it works to assume good intent and to approach things in a positive way. I prefer email to phone or in-person conversations. You could, for instance, write: "Hello, my daughter has told me that she is being tested for her progress in math. Could you clarify what the purpose of this testing is? It is hard to keep up her motivation and confidence when she isn't sure why something is being done."
There is always the possibility that they have identified a difficulty and are planning to put some supports in place (e.g. the SPED teacher might be preparing some special math sheets to help her).
J.

Ok, they do succeed in making me feel annoying and stupid, you're right.

I know exactly how you feel. I have felt just like you do dealing with Special Ed issues. It can be really stressful and frustrating.

But, you have every right to know. They have to be transparent with you.

Thank you.

Does anyone have experience with math goals for their child that they liked? I only know I don't like what they are doing, not what could happen that would be better. I think that would help, at least I hope so.

My understanding is that anything they add to an IEP they "have to do" unless you expressly put some weasel words like "if needed" in there. We ran into a problem where they had put time for motor exercises with the intnetion to calm our son, and then punished him when he refused to them --- because it was in the IEP. So never let them put anything into an IEP you do not want, and if something is optional make sure you put that in there. We needed an emergency IEP meeting to get them to stop torturing my son with this.

If I am understanding you correctly the math help is in the IEp and that is why they are doing the testing? So I am guessing if they are testing things she does not know that either it is one of those lets see how good her skills are kinds of general tests for multiple ages or she has been instructed at less than grade level, but the assessment is for grade level skills.

So, is she having math issues but you wanted to focus on reading or is it that they have some policy to test for everything? if she has no issue with math then I would not recommend wasting her time with this. if she does, then they will want to give her help in both b/c the schools get evaluated on progress in both math and reading. Also, math is so foundational that it is important to address it so she learns all the skills she needs and they do not cobble together something that is incomplete.

As far as dealing with them, I know it is hard, but you can do it. If you do not understand something make sure they explain it to you in non-teacher jargon, so you understand everything they want to do. This way you will know if you disagree and can address it.

It might be useful to go through a perspective exercise, since this may not come naturally to you. Really try to put yourself in the shoes of the special ed teacher. What are her objectives (professional, personal, etc)? Write it down.

You know your child and feel (almost certainly correctly) that reading support is the most important thing. But the special ed teacher will be working to the assessment where math has been specified. One of her objectives will be to support math as well as reading. The balance may not be right and you have the right to ask questions about the balance. (At this point, think of it as asking questions about the balance not questioning the balance - the second is more confrontational - subtle but important in terms of not making the special ed teacher defensive and entrenched).

Like ASDMommy says - the school and the educator will be assessed on both sets of skills (math and language) if this is what's in the learning plan.

I'd also suggest that you find an ally - a person that you can bounce ideas off of who is knowledgeable but not being judged on your daughter's progress.

Thank you ASDMommy, "as needed" sounds like a good phrase to use.

And Elkician perspective taking often helps, but never with this teacher. I'm torn because she needs to be right, needs to be the expert, needs to do what she's told, and sometimes like right now, needs to do something wrong (not communicate with the math teacher, test regularly and has not shared the results with me or the math teacher and it's February!) And I get that from her perspective math is hard, it's confusing, she likely is uncomfortable, but that contradiction and hierarchy piece where I as a mom need to be understanding how she is the expert who can't do something well and has to pretend....I can't pretend without pain, I know that sounds petty, but pretending like this hurts. She doesn't know what she's doing so she pretends and I have to go along.....my brain hurts and I'm mad. But I will try.

If there are any other phrases anyone knows for the IEP I would really appreciate more help with what I might ask for instead....though everyone has been a trenendous help already.....thank you all!!

She needs lots of practice with math problems at home. Lots of practical experience.

Lots of "practical" math--like how much change do you get from a $5 bill if you go to the store to buy milk.

Constant "testing" and "assessment" will do nothing. She needs hands-on instruction.