My kid was just diagnosed

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The younger one. He was diagnosed with ASD, Disruptive Mood Regulation Disorder (which is, apparently, new in the DSM-V), and General Anxiety.

How do you feel about that? How was the process?

Have you told him he's been diagnosed?

I don't agree with the Disrupted Mood diagnosis, honestly. I looked up the diagnostic criteria, and it says that the child presents as angry and irritable as their baseline mood, and that's not him. I think he does have trouble with emotional regulation, but is not an angry kid. The kids with this are also aggressive, which he is not. I think the doc based this diagnosis on the fact that she asked me if he ever hits or kicks during meltdowns, and I said "yes", but she took it to mean that he was aggressive, but he is not violent on purpose. So, now I don't know what to do about this diagnosis. His counselor and teachers don't agree with it either. This diagnosis was based on a parent interview over the course of a couple of hours.

However, I do agree with the ASD diagnosis. This is this doctor's specialty, and they did several tests with my son, by three different doctors who all said he met the cut off for ASD. I also think my son suffers from anxiety.

The process was LONG, but I am glad we have some answers finally.



No. I'm not sure how to approach that.

I know Fitzi---that's a hard one.

I probably wouldn't tell him explicitly, at this phase. Seven-year-olds don't want to believe they are different from other children in ANY WAY.

My advice as to "letting him know" subtly would depend upon the situation.

Right. I might just let it happen organically. He's probably going to figure out something soon because we will now be getting him in social skills groups for kids with ASD, etc. I may wait until he starts asking questions and answer on a question by question basis without adding more information than the specific information he asks for. That way, he won't be bombarded with information he isn't ready to process. I don't know.

My mother told me quite a bit (though she hasn't really a great memory for my childhood) about my "autistic phase" when I was about 11 years old. This was around the time when she also gave me the "birds and the bees" speech. At that point, she felt like I would handle the "news" better because I had "matured" sufficiently.

Will they consider removing the disruptive mood regulation disorder label? It's hard once they're done with the report, but I would be bothered by that too. I don't think I would tell my child a diagnosis I didn't agree with.

You shouldn't tell him, then. Unless you want to use it as a punchline to a funny story.

My mother didn't believe I had autism, either. Back in 1963-1964, autistic people were frequently institutionalized. She chose not to believe the diagnosis; I benefited from that skepticism.

You chose not to believe this diagnosis. Go with that belief.

My daughter was there when the doctor said she had Asperger's and I explained it to her after. I actually told her I thought she had AS before, not that I was sure but that is what I thought, because they were making noises at school about anxiety and moodiness and I hated calling her labels I thought were wrong. And Fitzi, it really did work to have a correct label, people admired what she could do instead of criticizing her so much for what she didn't, it shifted the success versus failure balance and that made everything so much better. I hope the ASD diagnosis helps you as well. It's one thing to label a child where maybe there's a question, a lot of people here didn't like being labeled, but I think if a child is to be labeled at all, better it be a label that helps adults do the right thing.

I hope they will remove it.

No, I will definitely not tell him about the disruptive mood diagnosis. I really don't think he has it. But, I think he might benefit from knowing about the ASD diagnosis, because he does seem to have a lot of awareness that he has a much harder time making friends than other kids and he feels bad about himself because of it. He also, I am pretty sure, knows that he is different and it frustrates him. I think if he knew that there was an explanation and that many other people also have ASD, it might actually make him feel better about himself. But, I am not sure if he's quite ready. I think I have to wait until the right moment, like when he starts asking questions.

I think it's important to assess the kind of kids who are in Mitzi's son's class.

Some might admire somebody who is able to persevere despite having a "disorder." Some would probably try to bully him because of the diagnosis.

Assess the teacher as well. There are many teachers who are really prejudiced beings, despite their "education."

Thanks. I hope it helps too. It's funny, but a part of me (even though I pushed for testing because I suspected ASD) thought that maybe I was crazy and it was just social/ emotional delays (which some of the school administration told me). Now that he is officially diagnosed, I suddenly see his autistic traits way more clearly. I am really glad to not have to question it anymore. And, no one at the school will question the diagnosis as I took him to one of the places considered to be the most expert at diagnosing ASD. Some of the staff had already suspected (like the social worker and guidance counselor), and I think the diagnosis will help the others see him in a more positive light now.

Yes. There are kids picking on him daily, and would use this as bait. But, they don't have to know. I also plan on using this diagnosis to get him placed in an ASD program. These are classes where about half of the class is on the spectrum, and the other kids are neurotypical- but they take care not to place kids who are judgmental or mean in the class with the ASD kids.

His teachers seem really caring toward him, actually. I am going to meet with them about this next week.

It sounds good...this situation. It would benefit both the autistic and the neurotypical kids. It would also encourage academic subjects to be taught.

I've seen classes tailored solely for autistic kids. I've seen kids doing the same worksheets for days on end.

You want a situation where TEACHING is happening.

Maybe get some age appropriate books about autism and let him look at them if he chooses. There's a good one called "All cats have Asperger's. Syndrome"



And "The Survival Guide for Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders."



He may identify with them and that could start a conversation.