Bittersweet day, emotional support would be appreciated

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Well, it's happening today. The day we knew would come. My youngest child is graduating from high school tonight. Both the boys dropped out and have great jobs working at factories, and I was sad that they left school but I'm proud of what they are doing with their lives and they are planning on staying with the companies and making careers out of this. My oldest daughter graduated several years ago and will be graduating college this year too.

However, this is my baby. My youngest. Once she graduates I will have no more kids in school. She will be in college and she will be responsible for her own work, getting to class, etc, etc. I won't be needed anymore to help her and do things for her. She's not moving out until fall, and she's not starting college until Winter or Spring I believe, because she wants to work for a few months first. Her best friend is moving here into our spare room tomorrow (my oldest son moved out and is living with his new, sane gf, and my youngest son - the one I suspect has AS like me - is going back and forth between here and his gf's house, so we have an empty bedroom). The girls are going to get jobs and work and then save and get an apartment in Montevallo, where they are going to go to college. So, I have a few more months with her at home, then she's gone. Also, my older daughter will move out a few months after she graduates and gets a job.

I knew this was coming. Every parent knows this will happen one day and you look forward to it and dread it at the same time. At times it feels like it takes a hundred years to get here and at other times it feels like the blink of an eye. Right now, it's a blink. I'd give anything to turn back the clock 16 years and hold her in my lap again and rock her to sleep and to be everything in the world to her. I have four kids and couldn't pay as much individual attention to them all like I wanted to, but they are happy and well adjusted, but now I feel that she's grown and I missed it.

I'm so very, very proud of her but I'm also so very, very sad that this chapter in her life and my life is over. I did the one thing they say not to do. I built my entire self image around being a mom. Now, with my youngest graduating and moving on with her life, I'm not needed anymore. I have no need to wake up early. I don't have to cook breakfast, my kids can cook it if they want it. They do their own laundry. I don't have to clean their rooms. I haven't had to remind her of homework in two years, she's a straight A student and tutors other kids.

I'm not going to show the sad part of how I feel. It's her day and I'm not ruining it by moping around. I'll put on my happy face and dress up and make the party and all that. I'll make sure she has a great time. I knew it was coming, we all know it is, or at least many of us do. Why is it such a surprise and why is it so painful? I know that there are some here who won't be going through this and I'm not trying to make you feel bad or rub it in in any way. I just really feel the need for emotional support from other parents, and rather than put it in the Haven where lots of people without kids would answer, I wanted to put it here where people would understand where I'm coming from.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled about it. I'm over the moon! I'm also heartbroken that her childhood is over with now, officially.

So, I'll deal with it and I'll get over it, and I'll be allright, after all every parent goes through this and every one of them turns out ok. Just right now I could sure use some encouragement and some words of wisdom to make me feel better and to focus on the happy part.

Thanks in advance. I do appreciate it.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Congratulations!! !

Yep....Congratulations are in order.

At least your son overcame much to get his diploma.

My nephew got expelled from college for failing everything. Then he went back to community college, then went back to a four year college. He graduated a couple of weeks ago.

I extend my support, of course.

But this is a positive event in your son's life. You will never lose your son, no matter what. Even as adults, kids frequently rely on their mothers.

Gosh, as a mom, I really get where you're coming from. I am right behind you...with my youngest with 2 years of high school left.
I'm a sentimental person and have loved so much being a mom to my kids.
My oldest in on the spectrum and is in community college, but I don't see her moving out anytime soon, so I guess I don't have that in common with you. But at some point, I'm sure she will be ready to move out on her own...not as soon as others, but eventually, and actually I think I will be thrilled for her when she's able to have that type of independence for herself. Still I know I will miss them both when that time comes.

But, with that said, I guess I'm trying to prepare myself by realizing that this is what kids are supposed to do and it's actually a good thing. It's an exciting/scary time of life for them. For us too. But I'm trying to celebrate WITH them, with any steps of independence they take. I think if they know we are there behind them to encourage, but not hold them back, they will more than likely really appreciate that and stay close to us as they become adults. At least that's how I feel.

So, I'm trying to think about it positively and also get some more things going in my life. I do best when I stay pretty busy. I'm exercising more and thinking of joining a gym. Taking some classes in things I've been interested in but always put on the backburner. Also volunteering and getting my career back on track. Hopefully I'll meet some interesting new friends with doing that.
Best of luck to you and I think it's ok to realize that it's ok to be sad at this time of transition, but hope you're able to find some happiness/a new sense of normal soon!

I'm not at that point in the road, yet, just the one where the first child graduates and leaves for college.

That second point will be in three years.

I have no idea how I will deal with it; I nearly lost it watching my daughter leave elementary school and my son leave middle school on the same day! When it is time for her to really go away? Wow, I can't imagine how I will handle that.

So much empathy to you.

And remember that they will ALWAYS need their mom, albeit in a different and less frequent way, so there will still be moments in the future where you get to take it on again. Cherish those, stressful as they are likely to be.

Congratulations! I'm sure that no matter how far away she is, she'll always be your little girl.

I need my mom more now than I feel I did when I was a kid. I went through a period in young adulthood when I didn't realize I did, but eventually that caught up to me. Your daughter will always need you, and once she gets through the "I'm an independent woman" part, she will need you even more, because life is never as easy as you think it will be when you are young and think you are invincible.

My son is about to graduate middle school. Based on how hard this is for me, I cannot even imagine how I will feel when my youngest is graduating high school. Lost, I imagine. But there is a part of me that longs to become the me I was before I was a mother. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, or not, but to me at least, when you become a mother, part of you has to take a back seat. I am interested to see what that part of me will be able to do now that I have a few year's of wisdom under my belt. I still have another 8 years to go before that happens, but I know time will fly from now to then.

Sending you positive thoughts!

I can only offer a virtual hug (((Hug)))
kids grow up so fast