Insurance, anxiety and discipline

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OK, so we got a diagnosis on March 16th and things seemed to have moved quicker than I can keep up. My son had evaluations with the OT and child psychologist this week. I love the OT-she was very informative, very empathetic and she came highly recommended. She wants to see my son 3 times a week.

My insurance is allowing 10 appointments over the next 12 weeks. I thought I had good insurance, now-not so much. My son has virtually not fine motor skills and has horendous sensory integration issues. I truly believe he needs OT 3 times a week and am willing to do just about anything so that he get the help that he needs. Obviously, I am going to call the insurance company and try to get more visits, but I foresee a fight on my hands. He will get OT in school-in the fall when he starts, but the OT at school will only deal with "academic issues" not SI issues.

I am also so anxious right now, my son is projecting my feelings. He has had a worse than normal week. I am trying to be understanding, but I do not tolerate disrespectfulness and yelling. I did not tolerate this before the diagnosis. What I am trying to get at is: How do you figure out if the bad behavior is due to AS, or to "just being 5" or what ever the age? How did you alter your discipline style, or did you? Should I have different expectations?

I do try to explain to my son why "x" behavior is not acceptable and I do give him chances to remedy the mistake, but I really feel like a broken record and end up taking things away from him as punishment.

Hey,

We actually got our diagnosis for my daughter on the 8th March, so I'm new to all this as well. I think you raise good points because I'm struggling with the same thing. I don't know what is 'normal' for a 6 year old girl (I have no other children) and what is considered AS behaviour. She'll do something that the other kids don't do so the other non-AS Mum's tell me that it's AS behaviours, and then she'll do something that the other kids do do, and the ASD Mums will tell me it's AS behaviour...I struggle with finding a fine-line between who to take advice from.
Some of the behaviours really are just typical AS...but others I'm not sure of...is she just being naughty because she's 6 and she can be? Or has something triggered it in her?

Our integration teachers told me that I would soon learn which behaviours fell into which category.

I've spent 6.5 yrs yelling at her because of he behaviours...now I don't yell because I've realised that a lot of it - the tapping, the tantrums, the whinging, the repetitive questions/comments/babbling are are AS, and as annoying as they are for me, she needs to do these things. It's driving me insane though. Being most likely AS myself (the integration teachers caught me flapping the other day...I didn't even know I did it!) these things get on my nerves immensely.

If you figure out anything, please post here. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this...I'm trying to figure it all out too...

My son never got more than a once a week private OT session and he was severely dysprhaxic. He had to have a "prescription" for it from his neurologist. He also received OT as a special ed service at school, something like 1/2 hour 3 times per week for many years. Unfortunately, he is still severely dysphraxic. I don't think OT helps much with the behavioral issues. Those arise out of stress and anxiety.

Have you modified his IEP so he can get OT at school?

We don't have an IEP in place yet, but I have a scheduled meeting in May. I am assuming that they will give it to him since he cannot write with a pencil or use scissors appropriate for his age.

Most insurances have a pre-set limit on the number of times you are allowed to see a psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor. They do not care what the "problem" is and will generally give only 10-15 visits a year regardless.

Make sure you demand it. You never know what they will do to save money. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. I would brush up on speical ed law before your meeting.

http://www.wrightslaw.com/

My son's psychologist told us that he may not learn to write at all and he was writing in 6 weeks. He was 5-1/2 at that time. The OT is helpful, but I don't think the "sensory integration" works as well as they claim.

Like allergies, all kids have different sensory issues. I think the sensory integration fails in a school/institution setting because they just do generic, popular exercises. They want to brush every autistic kid's arm to calm them, well, no thank you. It seems to be based in the motive of desensitizing the autistic person rather than teaching coping mechanisms and accepting the sensitivities.
I think sensory integration is better done on an individual basis, with the parents and teaching the kid how to self-stim on his own eventually.

how to figure out what's AS and what's simply 5 year old behavior is difficult....treat the child with expectations for acceptable behavior...these "expectations for acceptable behavior" are you up to you to form....for instance~ in my house, i could care less if my children's rooms are cleaned every day or even every week.....however, i'm a big lover of the words please and thank you~they'll take you pretty far around here.

I second the Wrightslaw site. The books they offer are chock-full of help for parents who want to know their rights as well as that of their child's educational entitlements.