Severe Anxiety (and more) on top of AS.

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Sorry if this is in wrong place.

I'm so worried for my son's future. He's just turned 10, and his anxiety levels are so high, he's become agoraphobic. As well, we just learned that what we thought were night terrors, are actually panic attacks he's having in his sleep. My poor baby, cannot catch a break! Doctor's say he was born predispositioned to this, based on his history from infancy, such as, severe startle reflex, non stop crying, etc. And his insomnia (he has all the stages), most likely stems from anxiety. It's also brought on Dysthymia, a less severe, but nearly constant state of depression. Medication, barely helps, and we don't want it to be a fix all. Relaxation techniques work alright when he's having an attack, but we're trying to help get him over it in all. On top of Autism, he is not having a great childhood, despite achievements he makes. He's currently in CBT and art therapy, but such a trauma to get him going. Please tell me we're not alone in this. I could really use some advice. TIA

Do you have any pets?

Sorry to hear this. I hope it gets better. My experience is that things can change a bit with puberty.

Also, I think you might want to reconsider two things:

There is no way it is going to "fix all" but the right medication can take you from an intolerable place to one in which you can get by. This should not be undervalued.


Again, don't undervalue anything that "works all right" -- an anxiety attack is a living nightmare and at worse comes with a truly horrible feeling of impending doom and a slew of debilitating physical symptoms. Death may seem like a preferable alternative to repeated and prolonged visits to that unbearable state. Anything that helps a person ease out of this to any degree is invaluable when you need it.

I don't really understand what you mean by "get him over it in all" is it that you do want a "fix all" as long as it's not meds?

I would focus on anything that makes the experience better and not worry about how comprehensive a solution it is or whether it's pharmacology or mental exercise. Anything that helps, helps and that is what counts.

Good luck!

Apologies for not being clear. I meant that we don't want him to be a zombie on medication, just throwing pills at his difficulties. We hope to find a balance of appropriate medication (going through med adjustment currently), CBT, and coping skills/relaxation techniques that help lessen the severity of his anxiety. We are well aware that he might not be able to recover from it, and would never impose a "get over it" mentality. As someone with AS, anxiety and more myself, I know how difficult this is for him. We only hope that one day, he'll be ok to venture outside again. We have always had a child led philosophy regarding his treatments. I believe I'm a bit frazzled, because of how self deprecating he's become lately. No child should experience these things, and it makes my "mother will fix it" side rage.

Yes! A cat my husband rescued from the street last year. My son adores her, and she is very helpful toward his feelings. He's always smiling a bit when with her. However, he can be rough sometimes, not understanding boundaries, which makes kitty hide. Then my son gets sad again for various amount of time.

Cats are great.
Mine have always helped me a lot too.

Autism service dogs can also help kids with an autism spectrum disorder a lot and are trained to do so.

It definitely can get better.

One note about meds: the doctors tend to fixate on regular doses of drugs that take a relatively long time (many weeks) to build up. There are highly effective fast acting drugs that may be more effective for some people with acute anxiety or panic attacks.

I am curious about the triggering conditions for agoraphobia. Do you live in an urban, suburban or rural environment?

It sound like it must be agonizing to watch as a parent. I hope things get better for both of you soon.

My son is 9, and probably would be in a similar situation except that we scaffold the heck out of his existence. he has a strong preference for home, that I could very easily see turning into agoraphobia, and I have been known to have bouts of that myself---though in my mind it has been more a thing of outside feeling less comfortable to home as opposed to being an actual fear---exacerbated by stress.

It is interesting that you list those infant symptoms, as my son shares that history as well, though supposedly I was a very easy infant. Not sure what that means.

Anyway, I would suggest trying your best to ease the demands on your child in addition to everything else you are doing and that has been suggested. Lower base-level stress helps a lot. Also, I would poke around and try to see if at school, or anywhere else, if something likely bullying is occurring. Bullying exacerbates home-preference for us--and obviously it will impact stress.

I completely understand this. I can recall just not wanting to be seen by people and finding the windows of houses oppressive... probably was on the way to agoraphobia then. Thank god for the beach and the woods, where I could be out and doing things I enjoyed.

For my son, there was a time when he was very anxious about the possibility of war breaking out and felt vulnerable outside. It was totally irrational--a house would not protect him from the unrealistic thing he feared (nuclear attack) but it was still there. It got to the point where he never wanted to go out and when he wanted to his friends who live within a block or so, he ran the whole way at his top sprinting speed.

So I started taking him for long walks and set them up by talking about his favorite video games. Only when he was in full swing talking about the games would we go out. We got to the point where we would walk a three mile loop into an unfamiliar neighborhood and he was fine, as long we talked about the games. Gradually the fear receded and he has no trouble walking all over town now.

We were just speaking to my daughter's CBT about this. She is 13, but has specific incidents of high anxiety (math tests, public performances), as opposed to anxiety all the time. Our CBT would generally recommend medication when a child is unable to perform what were once routine issues. For example, if our DD didn't want to leave home, started having anxiety attacks over everyday things, etc.

What the CBT did say was that for her clients who were on medication, a big thing was finding the right dosage and staying on it for a while. Once on it for a time, the clients were in a state of mind to practice more of the CBT-based techniques (as opposed to only relying on medication) to calm themselves during a panic or anxiety attack. The key was to be able to be in a "learning state of mind" (not anxious), as opposed to being in a coping situation only. With almost all of her clients, after the CBT techniques sunk in, most felt comfortable to try to wean themselves off medication.

So in some ways, the medication is the forerunner to the CBT working most effectively.

I have had it myself my whole life on top of AS.

It is very rare to me this day to have low anxiety days and lack of depression.

When I was his age, I used to get huge amount of anxiety being at school and doing certain subjects, which impacted my grades and development.
Hell this happened to me at every grade level including college.
Though I wasn't diagnosed until 25 on the verge of a complete breakdown.

I suggest you talk to his teachers and try therapy first before attempting medication.

I also still have very strong night terrors to this day, including early this morning (I was a woman being attacked and rape by the husband/boyfriend )