Daughters Aggressive Behavior

Post Reply New Topic

I have 3 kidz with autism. M is 11 and a boy, A is 10 and a girl and K is a girl and 10.

Well daughter K, is big and strong and heavy. She gets excited easily, loves hugs. Most of the time she is sweet but she can get agressive easily.

Shes getting too strong for me.

first thing in the morning she screams until i get her some bread. She got mad at me when I got her some different pjs, and she broke my phone.

She gets mad and throws things.

If she gets mad at her brother she pinches him and bites him and kicks him. And sometimes I just can't seperate them. They are getting soooooo strong.

I'm not quite sure what to do.

Is your daughter able to communicate her needs clearly and easily? I can't quite tell from what you've posted, but it seems like she might be frustrated because she wants to get her point across and doesn't understand why things aren't happening the way she wants them to. (This can happen with highly verbal kids as well as nonverbal ones, but the tools for kids who struggle with language require using alternate forms of communication, where with verbal kids you might use a mixture.)

In the parenting index stickied to the top of this board, there is a section on aggression: it is not uncommon with kids on the spectrum - my son struggled with it until he was about 12, and I think the reason he's more successful now is both that we got better at managing it and that he had a developmental jump.

Generally, an intervention for aggressive behavior involves detective work on the parent's part to figure out what is causing the child's frustration (which is not necessarily what the child may be expressing) and then take steps both to address the frustration and to teach appropriate ways to get what they need.

Many of us also like the techniques in the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Green. He has a website as well: http://www.livesinthebalance.org/

My daughter can talk, but not very much. Both of my daughters just started talking several years ago.

sometimes she has a very hard time understanding commands, especially if theres too many words, or if she REALLY had her heart set on something, so to speak.

I love her dearly but both of them have issues with being aggressive.

I know part of it is summer but also just being her. She wants what she wants it, WHEN she wants it.

The problem is that theres 3 kidz with autism and sometimes things escalate and then 3 kidz end up having a melt down, one by one.

Summer is hard for most kids, but especially kids on the spectrum. Her routine is probably off, and she's struggling to orient herself.

I like this article a lot, it's about a younger child but it explains how hard it is for a child with a communication disorder to orient themselves and how that can cause meltdowns: http://www.oneplaceforspecialneeds.com/ ... utism.html

I think your daughter would benefit from learning to regulate emotions.
Maybe you could look into calming down techniques that 10-year-olds can understand and practice.
It is not necessarily some specific frustration that is causing the outbursts, possibly she just has emotional dysregulation that causes major outbursts from small issues.
Even with dysregulation, it is possible to learn to regulate emotions better, like a training process over time.

thank you. this morning was MUCH better. its amazing how the smallest thing can throw them for a loop.

thank you very much for the article. I'm reading it right now.