cutting

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Have any of your kids been hospitalized for cutting ?
we just went to the hospital last night at the insistence of son's therapist....son had a cut on his hand, and some small scratches on his leg.he had cutting behaviors before, but he'd always cut up and down his arm~much more visible and deep than the cuts on the leg....once we got to the hospital, son revealed that the cuts on his leg went all the way up to his knee...had to have dr check him out to see if there were more cuts...thankfully, the only cuts were on his leg and hand... and the dr decided that because son wasn't suicidal, nor threatening to harm anyone else, and that the cuts were very superficial~he could go home and follow up with his therapist.
son's explanation for the cuts started with him saying that he didn't know how they got there...and then evolved into: " i scratch myself with a pen cap because i'm bored".
his therapist says that this should serve as a wake up call to me that i need to monitor son more closely....yeah....try telling a 14 year old that....

There's a forum that I know has a number of parents that have dealt with this issue and you might inquire there:

http://forum.conductdisorders.com/ubbth ... hreads.php

thanks for the link...will check it out

Oh geez Ster. I have no words of advice, just lots of hugs. Sorry I haven't been around much. S is having a ton of autistic days lately and I can barely see straight. You know how it goes. Drop me a line and update me on things. Did the dx come in for your daughter?

so far things have been smoother this week. celticgoddess~ have pm'd you

I cut really badly from ages 12-22. I wish I could tell you how to stop him from doing it. All I can advise you to do is

1) don't act disgusted
2) don't act scared (remain calm)
3) learn to distinguish between a suicidal gesture and what is just cutting
4) put a lot of emphasis on caring for the wounds even if they are superficial; insist he do this himself, immediately
5) don't condone it but don't try to force him to stop, either.

hth...

thanks, en una isla.....we've tried to keep calm about the cuts, but it's quite difficult. so far, the hospital visit has seemed to squelch any more attempts at cutting. he is also no longer seeing his "girlfriend" who was just recently hospitalized for 2 weeks for suicidal ideation & cutting....we've tried to help him come up with substitute behaviors for the cutting, but not really sure if he'll feel they're effective when he's in the moment of wanting to cut.....hope that the distance between the 2 helps our son.

Hello,

They generally do not hospitalize for cutting behavior. Your child is in real pain. Getting to the root of the pain is the key. Talking to a therapist may be helpful if he will engage with the therapist. The suggestions made earlier about not showing disgust, being matter of fact and having your child tend immediately to the wound are good points.
Laure

I've been a cutter from age 15. The cutting came about as a reaction to social rejections and having fights with people where I lost. Occasionally, it was also because of boredom and just to see what happened.

Hospitals don't seem to want to admit cutters unless the cuts are really deep. The best explanation I can give for cutting is that at the time I am in intense emotional pain (far worse than any physical pain, even childbirth). Cutting is an attempt to distract from that.
One therapist I saw explained that whole dynamic (which I was unaware of consciously up to that point) and I've since seen it in literature on self harm on the net.

I agree with the advice not to treat with disgust or censure or panic. Some people said I cut because I was just trying to get my own way eg. doctors and therapists and family members. In fact, it is a kind of modified panic attack. The feelings of anger and humiliation and fear of abandonment are so bad that they are too scary to face.

no more cutting incidents recently...he seems happier without the girlfriend. his therapist seems to believe that some of the cutting behavior could be attributed to stress from school~the school, for it's credit, has worked to reduce the amount of stress that they have control over.

His girlfriend sounds to be a very bad influcence on him.

thankfully, she's now the ex-girlfriend....haven't seen any cutting since they've broken up

I "cut" my wrists when I was in my early teens (actually scratched repeatedly and fairly deeply with the kilt pin from my school uniform). I did it as a way to deal with my emotional distress which was too big and too deep to hold inside, I had to express it somehow and in my house kids weren't allowed to talk back or get angry. So it was all bottled up and grew and grew until I would just have a meltdown of despair and fury. The pain I felt eased my emotional pain, it was a kind of distraction, and the injuries I caused to myself were a physical expression of what I could not say with words. My parents didn't even notice them for months, which only confirmed in my eyes that they didn't care about my suffering. When they finally noticed, they took me to a psychiatrist who pretty much said the usual stuff about superficial wounds etc. I don't believe my parents and I ever actually talked about it, it was weird. But anyway, at some point I just stopped doing it; I don't remember when or why, but I did move in with a much older boyfriend as soon as I could (16) and on to other forms of self-medication such as alcohol, which lasted until I was 19.
I don't know what to tell you, but this was my experience. I hope your son does well.

From what I understand cutting releases an anesthetic into your bloodstream. On some level your child is trying to numb himself, but since what he's experiencing is probably not physical so cutting doesn't do anything so he just does it more.

Then again, when I was 14 I did lots of stuff like that and it wasn't necessarily because there was something wrong. I remember gouging out little pictures on my arm and burning my arm with lighters.

Those are my two cents. You probably want a refund though.

I don't cut and burn all the time. It's only after a protracted period of emotional stress and too many things to cope with at once. After having a breakdown two months ago when I punched and bit myself repeatedly in the doctor's surgery because she was completely unsympathetic about some concerns I had, I have been in a much calmer state of mind.

I found a new doctor who is really nice and whose surgery is in the city centre where I work. Work is better because all our teams were rearranged and there is even a man with Aspergers in my team. It is also much better with the type of work.

Hopefully, I won't get stressed so quickly and can put all the self-harm behind me.
I can intellectually see it's a bad thing but when emotions are out of control and it seems nobody is listening, it can be hard not to lash out even if it is against yourself.