Tired of school vs. tired of learning

Post Reply New Topic

Any input? I have a meeting coming up with school regarding DD's move to secondary.
Living in Belgium so homeschooling is not an option.

DD is bilingual and being raised bicultural and is aware that she has to learn double rules of social conduct.
She'll be 11 1/2 just after X-mas. Her favourite playfriend is 9.
One of her favourite foods is rice and home made curries and for that alone they pestered her at her old school.
In her new school and boarding place they more view her tastes as peculiar but are culturally much more open-minded so she feels accepted.

School itself wants DD to move on to secondary partly because she is 'tired of school'. Our family workers' exact words to me pionting out DD choices in the UK at a later age were "school has their own vision". Family worker is not associated to school but is part of the treatment plan and both fall under the same umbrella organisation.
DD arrived at her current school in that frame of mind after 4 years of bullying and social exclusion at her previous school.
She is in her second year in the new school and has achieved a lot in finding herself. Academically she has caught up and is doing ok apart from maths which she finds troublesome to say the least. But that is a different story...
They have offered she stream through and stays in special education and has been offered a place at a special needs school with good funding and a solid reputation that happens to fall under the same umbrella organisation.
They want her to move on next year.
I would rather she did another year of primary. She is one of the youngest in her class, her birthday is late June. Her favourite playmate is 9. By law she is entitled to another year of primary. But do I really want her in a school that has decided she should move on?
Belgium is very regimental about education and I have UK attitudes. We had planned on staying till she reached GCSE equivalent and she can then decide for herself if she takes up higher education after we return to the UK.

The allocating of places (for next schoolyear) from her school to the secondary one was done a month ago. I tried to let the school know that I view academic and psycho-social development as seperate in a lot of ways. Her sense of self-worth has hundredfold increased since she switched schools. She is a boarder and has psycho-emotional stuff and behavioural issues we are working on. School-wise she has concentrated on her work but now she says she finds it boring on the whole and the maths very difficult.

I'm torn. My worry is that the catch will be that if she don't move on this year there will be no space for her the year after. The secondary school is not an easy one to get in to as they have very limited spaces for children on the spectrum (their forte is deaf/dumb/blind education)
Saying she is tired of school is passing the blame and expecting her to fit this neurotypical view of what constitutes education.
Or is it me?

Like is said, any input appreciated, been going around in my head for near two weeks now. The meeting is on 5th dec and could do with some food for thought.

Cheers.

Edited for typos

I'm not totally understanding all the ins-and-outs of placement that you are mentioning because I am in the US and not familiar with the system there. But as for being "tired of school", or rather a school in particular is something I can relate too. When I was stuck in a place that wasn't challenging me I quickly got bored and complacent. It was only when I found an environment that matched my needs that I really excelled. For me, that was a boarding school that focused on the arts. In other places before that I did the bare minimum to meet my honor roll grades and didn't excell socially or grow socially. Once I was in an environment "made for me" I blossomed.

So you have to ask yourself if this new school is more of a good fit for your child AND if you think her current school is done challenging her. Does the new school offer more specialized options for her to blossom socially or academically? Would the good funding you mention give her access to more personalized interventions and help? Is the current school trying to move her along to give her a better chance or are they now unable to give her the attention/accommodations she needs and don't the the resources? While this school may have been great for two years, will it continue to create the same environment or has it reached a plateau?

When all else fails, make a pro and con list.

Find a way to test what she knows. Then you can see the results yourself and if you strongly believe that keeping her back will really help her, then you should keep her back. I think she doesn't know the difference between schooling and learning. She may not realize that she likes learning, but just absolutely detests the schooling. I would try to find a school with a teacher that gets her motivated with education. A kind of teacher that does things a little differently.

From personal experience, if she has the opportunity to move on, its a good pace for her, and she's got what she's supposed to know down, she should move on. I was not allowed to skip grades when given the chance, and really despised that decision that my mother made. (On a similar note, I had to switch schools in the middle of the 7th grade, and missed a whole bunch of instruction when it came to learning Algebra, and almost failed that class. My mother is not the best decision maker.)

Please be aware that age itself is a really meaningless number. Her maturity level is something you should worry about instead. If you think she's able to handle what her future holds, then let her go that path. If you don't feel like it will be good at any point, find some help, or just keep her back.

The new school is a catholic one within the special education system. I am very reluctant because it means two hours a week of guaranteed disinterest and boredom during compulsory religious education as far as DD is concerned and the social stigma of being in special education in secondary school.
Also in the new school there is only a vocational stream and I get the impression that academically those kids have been as good as written off. They are being educated with a vision firmly on them streaming into the (protected/social) workplace from the age the law allows them.
Socially it could be an enriching experience but that would be more like an interesting social experiment I suppose and not fair on DD.



She don't actually detest schooling but finds a lot of it boring because her only real interests are horses and nature and playing with her playmobil. She is more interested in the social aspect of it as her previous school was not a good learning experience.
She does want to move on but only on a social level. Many of her friends at her riding school are now in secondary or making the move next year and I suppose it is peer pressure to also want to be going to secondary. I've already made it very clear to her that we will not be choosing a school because such and such goes there and that whatever choices she makes regarding her studies she should aim as high as possible. She has wanted her first rider certificate for ages and that in itself would be an academic achievement as a lot of it is theory. She has a week horsecamp in Jan and at the end they sit the exam. I'm keeping my fingers crossed she manages to get that diploma as she has been riding horse for long enough now (6yrs) but I have my doubts as to wether she is mature enough to grasp the idea of sitting an exam proper.

Have in the meantime looked at an alternative school in the communal system where religious education is not an issue and would do away with 2 hours of guaranteed boredom replaced by 2 hours where critical thinking is allowed.
She would enroll in a 'bridge class' with support for her maths but at least she would be in the regular system as opposed to special education which carries a social stigma here in Belgium and she takes that to heart. And it would provide the buffer zone that I would like her to have in the switch from primary to secondary.

So... thanks for the input

So you're not goiling to get her educated on WP...
pid mistake if yi axe my!