My Son Just Violently Attacked Me

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Tonight my nine year old son with PDD-NOS attacked me. He was nauseated and acting panicked. I got him to take a shower and after, he said he felt better. He (Nathan) asked me to lay in bed with him. We were laying together in his bed, talking and cuddling. Nathan fell asleep, so I tried to get up. When I left the bed, Nathan woke back up and asked me to come back to bed. It was apparent that he was getting sick to his stomach again.

I laid back down and tried to get Nathan back to sleep. While laying in bed, Nathan said “I’m going to hit you. What will you do if I hit you? Will you hit me back? Will you hit me like this?” then smacked himself in the face as hard as he could. I was shocked and said “Nathan, you can’t hit yourself, baby.” Then, he turned, stared me in the eyes for a few seconds and started slapping me out of control. I tried to restrain his arms, but he started kicking me out of control. At this point I started yelling for help.

Then, Nathan grabbed my hand and bit down as hard as he could, as if he were biting an apple, which caused me to scream. Nathan blank stared at me again and said “F*** you. F***. F***. Motherf****** piece of s***”. His Dad then opened the door and Nathan spit in his face, yelling “F****** dad”. After that, he vomited all over his bed. When he finished, he immediately started saying “I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry”. He was crying and telling me that he didn’t want to hit me.

Nathan doesn’t cuss at us (his parents) and doesn’t hit us. He used to years ago, but has outgrown those behaviors. He also doesn’t have tantrums these days. This episode scared me. Nathan is getting big physically and actually hurt me. He also has a four month old baby sister in the house and he could really hurt her. I don’t know what happened. This was like watching a psychotic breakdown right before my eyes. I feel bad for Nathan, but I am also afraid for myself and my daughter.

What could have happened here? This doesn’t seem like anything Autism/Aspergers related. It was frightening. Tonight was the first time I have ever been afraid of my son. Does anyone know what could be going on? I plan on contacting a psychiatrist Monday morning…

How terrifying. I am so sorry that you have experienced this attack. I hope the psychiatrist is able to help you and your son. I wish I had some useful knowledge to offer, but all I can do is say my heart goes out to you and your whole family.

Turn him over to the police or Child Services. It's only a matter of time before he attacks you again. Maybe next time it will be with a knife or some other weapon.

When he needs to vomit don't lay him down, let him sit, give a big cup of water to drink and a bucket to throw up in.

And it might be about time to sever the in-bed-with-mommy-time. As we don't expect fathers to lay in bed with their not-so-little-anymore daughters, mothers should respect the same physical privacy with sons.

How can you tell that from the OP? Is there a specific condition that leads to this behavior?

I've heard of things like Huntington's Disease and certain types of traumatic brain injury leading to uncharacteristic episodes of extreme violence sometimes accompanied by nausea.

The detail of what he said before initiating the attack (“I’m going to hit you. What will you do if I hit you? Will you hit me back? Will you hit me like this?”) are disturbing because they seem to suggest self-awareness, and deliberation. This would seem like a choice, perhaps driven by a very strong compulsion. What can cause compulsive violence? Can one be certain that it's "only a matter of time before he attacks again?"

I learned about some of these behavioral issues in an intro to neurobiology course I took last year, but violent behavior was not the focus of that class so those little bits of information came in tangentially while were looking at things like the different effects of spinal lesions in different locations, or damage to particular regions of the cortex or cerebellum.

Hopefully, NathansMommy will get the answers she needs from a professional with deep experience in this area.

My impression is that he wanted her to hit him, for whatever reason. Maybe he was trying to force her to respond violently. Maybe some kind of panic attack?
You're doing the right thing to contact a psychiatrist/psychologist. You should probably take him to a regular doctor, too, to find out if what caused the puking could also have caused the behavior.

This. I was thinking of time for psychiatric care.

There is some sort of connection between the vomiting and the behavior. He doesn't get sick often, but he had a similar problem a little less than two years ago. He needed to throw up, but refused to go to the toilet. He just paced and cried. When we finally got him into the bathroom, he started slapping at me and his dad, cussed, then pulled down an over-the-toilet shelving unit before he finally threw up. This time it was just worse because he is bigger and stronger, plus the fact that he doesn't hit us or his teachers/peers anymore. My concern is the reverting back to the violent behavior and cussing when he is sick. Aside from Nathan, I have never heard of that happening.

Besides Nathan being very defiant and having terrible ADHD, he is super gentle. He loves his baby sister and has never been rough with her. He always wants to play with me and his Dad and gives us lots of love (hugs and telling us how much he loves us). He knows that cussing gets him time out and has almost completely stopped. Nathan also doesn't hit or hurt people or animals.

This is why this sort of outburst was so scary. It was like he was a completely different child. It scared me because it was so sudden and out of character.

I am so sorry that you went through this! How terrifying for everyone involved. I share the suspicion that there is something neurological going on, perhaps beyond the spectrum diagnosis. Or maybe even something biological? Viruses can trigger all kinds of temporary neurological conditions. Did he have a fever? That can also do weird things to the brain.

I guess what I'm saying is that maybe he did have a psychotic break, and it could be a vulnerability he faces when he has a virus, or an indication that he has another undiagnosed to date neurological condition. I am not a doctor, btw. But, I think it's worth exploring with his, running brain scans, etc etc. There may be an answer out there and treatment, hopefully simple. Good luck!

I think it's a little premature to bring in child services, for heaven's sake!

Op, it seems that he becomes violent in times of stress. He will likely have this tendency his whole life, so it is important to get him to learn techniques to deal with the triggers. I recommend a psychiatrist and exposure to anger management techniques.

Does he have Emetophobia? Emetophobia is a fear of Vomiting.

i have emetophobia and everytime i get nauseas i get EXTREMELY anxious.

i used to have full blown meltdowns before i would vomit.

vegus nerve ?

Can you elaborate?

Is your thought that some irregular stimulus of the vagus nerve may be responsible for the symptoms and behavior? Or that vagus nerve stimulation might be therapeutic? I don't quite follow.

It seems to me that there is a behavioral problem. What medical origins it may have are unknown, but the behavioral problem is very real, so androbot01's idea is exactly right: he needs to learn to deal with the triggers of his violence. He needs to learn self control and anger management.

Some of the discussions by other parents who have lived with and managed violent behavior from their children are probably relevant.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

It seems like some sort of episode which demands the intervention of a neurologist, as other posters have mentioned. It almost seem epileptic in character, somehow, even though there seems to be conscious intent.

If isolated incident, then I wouldn't blow up this one incident when a kid is feeling sick (nausea being one of the worst, most frustrating, and out-of-control feelings one can have) and starts hitting.

You should watch to see if similar incidents increase, and also teach that one shouldn't hit when one feels bad.

Can he communicate well enough to do a situational autopsy? ie walk through with you a detailed breakdown of all the events that evening, how he was feeling, what he was thinking, at each point in time? That analysis can be extremely helpful in gathering what you need to teach him how to prevent such outbursts in the future.

Overall, I get the impression of too much suppressed emotion and aggression. It is great to teach our kids to control their negative behaviors, but sometimes we have to realize that they cannot endlessly internalize that negative energy; it continues to exist and will need to find an escape. You may need to give him regular outlets for that and encourage him to use those outlets during times he is likely to be suppressing aggressive behaviors.

This is a great age to meet with a professional on such issues, because you do want the protocols in place before he enters full on puberty. My son worked with an anger management group at a similar age and, while I was not at the time sure it was the right type of counseling, he actually found it really helpful. Stress is a normal part of living, and people need to have mechanisms in place for releasing it effectively but appropriately.