Offline, do you have kindred spririts?

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I meet parents or other adults that are like me
I don't meet parents or anyone that thinks like me 70%  70%  [ 7 ]
I don't go out enough to judge 30%  30%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 10

KimJ
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27 Mar 2007, 8:29 pm

There was a thread about support groups a while back. A lot of us don't meet the people we would like at support groups. I have the overwhelming experience of only meeting "curebie" or biomed parents that 1)believe Mercury poisoning caused their child's autism and 2)their kids need intensive therapy. This place seems overwhelmingly the opposite.
I'm not really talking about treating anxiety, depression or hyperactivity. That's another topic.

Anyhow, the other day I was at this meeting and discussing "the epidemic" and when I claim that there have been many autistic people throughout history (and currently just as many adults), I got dismissed for being a parent of an "HFA". This is just stupid.

So, do you meet parents that are totally different from you, that you don't get along with? or not?

edit, the poll didn't turn out right. I meant for the top line to be poll question, not a title! :x



TruenoBlues
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28 Mar 2007, 1:15 am

My parents got kicked out of a group because I function too highly and we embrace the positives of my AS!


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KimJ
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28 Mar 2007, 1:41 am

Were they made unwelcome or actually told to leave? Were they directed to a more appropriate group?
If someone told me to leave, I'd tell them to stick it you know where.
But I won't stay in a group where people are saying weird stuff like, "I don't love my child". (really happened) or if the overwhelming group is pro-cure.



ster
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28 Mar 2007, 5:24 am

i've tried groups, but they just don't seem to work out for me....i guess alot of parents feel that our problems are minimal because our son is high functioning. i actually get more support from my co-workers than i ever did from any formal support group.



Goku
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28 Mar 2007, 6:58 am

I've never tried any local groups but I noticed even the internet sites seem to be either pro cure or no cure and all of them loudly extremist positions. Too much drama and not enough common sense for me!



TruenoBlues
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28 Mar 2007, 10:48 am

KimJ wrote:
Were they made unwelcome or actually told to leave? Were they directed to a more appropriate group?
If someone told me to leave, I'd tell them to stick it you know where.
But I won't stay in a group where people are saying weird stuff like, "I don't love my child". (really happened) or if the overwhelming group is pro-cure.


We were pretty much uninvited to the group.


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JsMom
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28 Mar 2007, 10:57 am

Hmmm, we've never been able to find a support group, but I have a couple of friends who have children on the spectrum, and we all get along pretty well. I don't always agree with how they handle things, but that is not for me to judge. I have one friend in particular who has a son who is very high functioning. Sometime I think she lets him take the easy way out too often, and I worry that he will never learn to become independent. I have never told her my thoughts and never will because that is not my place. I do support her though when she needs help or reassurance.


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javajunkie80
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01 Apr 2007, 4:35 am

A few of the Mums in our local support group have, or probably have AS/HFA. They believe I have it, and the more they get to know me, the more convinced they are that I am.

Even though some of these Mums are too much for me, I have found one mother, outside that support group, to be wonderfully compatible with me, and her son compatible with my daughter. We are both very academically minded, rigid to a fault, unemotional, and share a number of outlooks on alot of things. Recently we also realised that neither of us experienced the full range of emotions that other people experience - incapable of love, unsure to what measure we love our children (although we know we love them and would do anything for them, it just doesn't seem to be what other mums experience), I don't experience jealousy over other people and/or their relationships whereas she feels intense jealousy when someone is 'hers'.

I think it's just luck really, that leads us to others who may understand what we're going through as individuals and as parents. My friend, whose son is most likely ASD, is very understanding and supportive of Hannah. More so than anyone else I know. Perhaps it's because we all understand each other on a much better level now that we know a little more about what's going on with Hannah (and D, and H and myself - all of us most likely are ASD).


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9CatMom
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01 Apr 2007, 10:11 am

Truenoblues,

This is why I don't embrace the concept of support groups. I wouldn't join an AS support group because my problems are minor by comparison to others. They only cause me acute embarrassment, rather than significantly affecting my functioning.



Motomome
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01 Apr 2007, 3:02 pm

I have received some great help from the local support group in my area. The knowledge and information that some of the women in the group pass along is just wonderful. My son however is very high functioning, in fact because of it the school psychologist thinks he does not really have AS. I will say that I used the group more when I first got the diagnosis and needed to hear from other parents of autistic children.



KimJ
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01 Apr 2007, 5:57 pm

Motomome, yeah I remember when the diagnosis was newer and liking that, "does this ever happen to you?" style of conversation. But these days it's a lot of disagreement over Biomed treatments, how to handle IEP's and the whole "epidemic" topic.
BTW, I love your avatar. :D



Motomome
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03 Apr 2007, 5:43 pm

Thank you!

I am over the whole "newness" of the diagnosis. Now my focus is just helping him to be the person that he can be. To ensure he gets the services that he needs in school and life. To be his number 1 supporter and advocate.