Child steals and hides food compulsively. Aspie trait?

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Hi-- my daughter was diagnosed this summer with Aspergers and ADD innatentive tendencies. She's 11 and is a really good kid. She also takes a stimulant med--Vyvanse.

We have a lot of little issues but one huge one has been plaguing us for several years and no matter what we've tried it continues unabated. My daughter constantly steals food, eats it in secret and hide the evidence in the same places over and over. Its crazy stuff. If its available anywhere in the house including off-limits spaces, she'll choose junk food--sugar, chips, etc. if I stop buying that stuff (and I have many times) she steals alternatives--granola bars, pancake syrup, chocolate syrup, drink mixes, juice, ...the list goes on. I find wrappers, dishes, plated, peels, all kinds of stuff under beds, under the coffee table, under the couch on a regular, if not daily basis.

We've tried evey consequence we could think of. No junk food/treats/sugars for a month, no TV or computer, extra chores, paying for the food out of her own money, grounding. We've also done positive reinforcement things like earning points towards a reward, daily praise for doing well, etc. Nothing makes a dent.

Most recently I decided that maybe it was a control issue so began alllwoing her to pick out any kind of treat each a week and dole it out to herself as she saw fit without intereference as long as she didnt binge it or steal and hide anything else. That worked for about two weeks, then she started up again.

The thing is, she feels real remorse when caught. Shes upset not just to be caught but dissapointed in herself for lying and stealing. She just doesnt seem to be able to make the connection between what she's doing when she does it and the consequences.

She just had a physical and is not diabteic or prediabetic. The stimulant meds keep her apetite down--I have to nag her to eat meals on med days. Her weight is very normal so far. If it weren't for the meds it would be shooting up I am sure.

Have any parents of Aspergers kids out there come across similar things? What did you do? I's coming to the end of my mom-rope here. Any advice is greatly appreciated

My boys do the same thing. They've done it since they could walk.

It's a challenge sometimes finding all the places they hide food, and it's alarming when they try to hide things that should be in the refrigerator!

I've been advised that a child who does this isn't sure they're going to get food when they want it, but I don't think that's the case, since my boys are fed any time they want food.

As long as your child doesn't have a weight problem giving them food when they want it, as long as you offer a good variety, is OK, says my doctor. All you can do is feed them and reassure them that they can get the food.

Also, it's a sensory thing. Your child and my boys may just like the taste and texture of food in their mouths.

Last edited by Lucywlf on 16 Aug 2012, 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I used to do a similar thing as a child, but younger than your daughter. I would steal the sugar and hide under my bed and eat it. My mom would understandably get mad, try to hide the sugar, and punish me. That wouldn't work; I would always find a way to get around her hiding and punishments. My mom finally got me to stop by scaring me when I asked her why I was growing new teeth (my molars) and she told me it was because I ate too much sugar. Since your daughter is older than I was, I would suggest explaining how bad sugar and junk food is for her. Autistic people are logical, so you could try persuading her by telling her the effect that food has on her body.

A lot of the things that you still keep around for your family are really not healthy foods. First, switch to healthier groceries, then let your kid know she can eat whenever she wants, as long as she does it at the kitchen or dining room table, as you don't want bugs or germie plates around. Make sure you keep plenty of fruits and raw veggies around that she can raid when she has a case of the munchies. Also get whole grain pretzels and other healthy snacks from the health food store. Those granola bars are actually not healthy. Read the ingredients. They have sugar and/or corn syrup and other nasty things in them. I suggest buying local lightly processed honey instead of pancake syrup, and skip the chocolate syrup for a while. Just keep real juices on hand, and again, plenty of fruits and raw veggies on hand for her to munch.

Although I like pastries, I like fruit more, so that keeps me from pigging out on pastries. I only eat those in moderation. Unfortunately, I do eat too many salty snacks. In your daughter's case, she does seem to have a sweet tooth. The fruits and sweeter raw veggies can help satisfy that in a healthy way. Remember, too, that you can get them in several forms. Raw, dried, sauced (like apple and other fruit sauces), or canned, and even cooked into things like pies, or added to meals, like pinapple on ham. So dump the unhealthy sweets, but bring home those fruits and veggies. I have limited space in my fridge, so I like to pick up a lot of dried and canned fruits when I can. Also, when buying canned fruits only get it packed in juice, not in syrup. I still can't understand why anyone would buy naturally sweet pears canned in syrup. Ugh! I save and freeze the pear juice from canned pears to eat as pear ice. Yummy! I like to buy those fruit sauces--the ones with no added sugar, and freeze them. They are like sorbets that way. That's yummy, too! Also, I sometimes buy preserves, but only the ones without added sugar. Honestly, they don't need the added sugar.

So you see, there are healthier ways to indulge your daughter's sweet tooth. Also, people usually get less sweet crazy as they get older, so I wouldn't worry too much about it at this age, just channel it into healthier alternatives.

Tell your kid that the kitchen is no longer a restricted eating zone--restricted as too eating times. Tell her that as long as she eats there or in the dining room, or even off a tray by the TV, she is allowed to eat at any time. Kids often have a different body rhythm than adults for eating, sleeping, and bathroom time breaks. Your daughter's stomach may not be able to handle enough food at regular meal times to satisfy her throughout the day, so she may be trying to make up for it by eating in between meals. What you described sounds like it, so you really need to let her do that, but keep healthy foods on hand for her to do her snacking with. I think the hiding part started because you may have tried too hard to limit her to only eating at meal times or official snack times, but it sounds to me like her body rhythm is on a different clock than you have set up. Give her a break about the times she eats, so she won't feel she needs to sneak it. Otherwise this could lead to even worse eating disorders.

I have heard that it is common for autistic people to crave sweets and carbs in general. My son does, but the main sweets we have are 100% juice and fruits. He probably does drink too much juice, but we can live with that.

Maybe part of the problem with your daughter is the meds and that she is craving them because her body is trying to get around the appetite suppressant in the drugs, making her crave highly concentrated calories. I say this because if her weight is stable eating all this stuff, maybe she would lose weight if she didn't. Maybe compromise and let her have juice to keep her away from the syrups? I know juices aren't as healthy as actual fruit, but it is better than drinking syrup.

Have you asked her doctors for advice? Maybe this is a common aspect of this drug, and they will have suggestions?

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 18 Aug 2012, 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

OMG really? No wonder! Yes I stole food when I was younger mainly cookies; always sweets raisin bread, donuts, candy...and I had NO problem asking for these things. They never made me hyper kinda just mellow/balanced feeling.

I still have a huge sweet tooth and love to satisfy it! Same result makes me feel balanced/content...

Last edited by Mishra2012 on 21 Aug 2012, 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My Aspie daughter used to do something that was bad for her. She would sneak to do it because she knew she shouldnt. She would also cry and feel remorse (real remorse) when cought, but she just could not help it. Telling her the bad it was for her, for her development, and the effects to long term didnt work. It was a stim for her. I have read in this same forum people taking about eating as a stim. Probably thats whats going on with your daughter. In our case our daughter was able to control herself with the help of a therapist. I do ot know what she did, all I know is she told us not to make our daughter feel bad when cought doing what she was not supposed to do, and re-direct her attention to something else. All I kow is my daughter was able to control herself and now she even recognizes what triggers it, and she knows when it happens she needs to substract from what is triggering it in order to avoid doing it. I do not agree with the doctor that says "let them be". My Aspie husband has issues with food. He used to be very thin, but that stopped when he reached adulthood, and now he has being struggling with overweight for years. He just got used to it and now it is very hard for him to stop. I think you need to get help.

I thought it's worth mentioning that I am on a stimulant medication and when I am coming off it, I get insatiable cravings for sugar. It's not even a hungry thing, it's just this massive massive craving for sugar that isn't usually there otherwise (I don't even have a sweet tooth in general). You mentioned something about your daughters med days - do these eating episodes happen to be on her ''off'' days? Because what I've experiencing could be related to what your daughters going through.

I read somewhere that there's some science behind this, I could probably find it if you're interested to hear more.

There can be a lot more to hiding/eating/binging on food than hunger.

Some ideas that come to mind are
emotional eating, obsessive/compulsive hoarding, binge eating disorders, phobias, asserting will/control, prader-willi syndrome, sensory issues, addictive behaviors, food allergies/sensitivities ...
and these are just the first things that come to mind.

If logic/praise/reward systems are not working, then perhaps there is an underlying problem that hiding/eating the food meets and needs to be addressed.

My guess is that you may have to take a step back and use some sleuthing skills to figure this out. You may have to seek outside professional help.

Also, when you mix AS and other disorders, such as eating disorders, sometimes it does not seem to fit the classic symptoms of the 2nd disorder, such as the eating disorder. People with AS are not NT and don't always have secondary problems that present the same way as those who are NT, but the problems are just as real and need treatment.

My son doesn't steal food, but he has a problem with compulsively overeating. He constantly wants to eat. I think it is a sensory issue for him. Gum seems to help, though he goes through massive amounts of gum some days.

I did this as a child - my mother would put locks on the pantries so I'd unscrew them or learn to pick the locks, she'd hide sweets in cupboard so I'd take apart the cupboard - there was a real compulsion there to take food and hide the evidence (under the sofa cushions) because I knew it was wrong to steal food or especially foods that were treats or bought for special occasions. As an adult I still have this compulsion to a degree.

You know it's a 'treat' and in theory you may know that you shouldn't do it but I find from my own experience and looking at what parents of autistic kids say...it's not so much a lack of impulse control as that there's a real lack of ability to 'join the dots' as it were to actually DO what you know is correct. I'd say to work on that rather than trying to stop the behaviour or punish, it's FAR easier said than done (again looking at my experience and that of parents I've known with AS/ASD kids) but work on cementing the idea of when it's appropriate to eat such foods - she failed once, but like with anything else you just have to keep trying.

I used to sneak food out of the cupboards like fruit snacks. I would sneak the whole box upstairs and eat them. Mom should have put locks on her cupboard. I snucked other junk foods too. I quit doing it when I wanted to lose weight and mom told me if I want to be thinner, stop sneaking snacks. It was a sensory thing for me as well. I just enjoyed the taste and I keep eating them until I get tired of the taste. Only thing that stops me now is my weight and I want to stay thin, not get fat.

I did this when I was younger too, but only for the few years surrounding puberty (from about 12-15yo). I had almost painfully intense sugar cravings during that time. My mom didn't believe in buying junk food or processed foods, so I would sneak sugar, honey, bittersweet baker's chocolate -anything I could get my hands on with sugar content. For me it must have been hormonally based, and I stopped doing it when I didn't have the intense cravings anymore.

Figured I'd chime in here and answer the original question - as far as I know this is NOT specifically an AS trait. Lots of kids do this. I never did it, personally.

Wow! Thank you for all of the amazing replies, and for the most part no judging--that is so helpful. In the interest of brevity you just can't put every little detail in, however, I can add that my daughter has been doing this for about three years and is 11 now, so probably not hormonal. We really limit sweets in the house and out of it==trying to teach taht treats are for fun and OK in moderation Moderations being key. We have been slowly weaning more things out lately, but are really a typical American family. Wo do whole wheat bread, shooot for 5 servings of fresh fruits ansd veggies a day, don't eat red meat., rarely allow ANYTHING with food coloring, etc. I know tahts not perfect according to the new food pyramid, but I don;t feel like we're way off base. We are not supremely health conscious--once a month or so we make pancakes, so we usually have a bottle of natural maple syrup around. Occasionally we'll bake cookies or something--maybe onse every two months so there are things like brown sugar around. We have individual 100% fruit juices for lunches. On a weekend we may buy a bag of chips for a BBQ or something.

Its how we live and we need to help our daughter to function in real life. I am afraid if we wipe out the cupboards and just keep it all away that she won't learn anything taht way. What happens when she is somewhere else nor we're not aound to keep teh treats at bay? She will grow up one day and make all of her own choices. I feel its out job to figure out how to deal with real life--I just don't know how yet. It is incredibly frustrating.

My sister in law back east has a kid with similar issues. She made simpe signs for the cupboard and fridge that say" Permmission First", with a list of positive and negative natural consequences for actions realting to food, stealing and lying like "Feel Good" Be Healthy" "Gain Trust" and "Feel Sad", "Lose trust" and "Feel Unhealthy". We made those together last night, used fun fonts and colros and put them up together. She was feeling in charge of herself and resolved to not do this anymore This evening she stole a treat meant for someone else and hid the wrapper under my bed. AAAArrrgh! I flipped my lid and now whe's gone to bed early.

As far as consequences go, leaving it be and not reacting woudln't work with us. Trust me we'rve tried it, along with soooo many other things. She is very black and white about things. If you do something she sees to her advantage one time, she'll run with it and expect that every time and will meltdown when it's not--selective reinforcement is a big no no in our house. I feel overly strict on sticking to rules-- I too believe kids need tim just to be kids, but when we don't it creates havoc.

I hate feeling helpless and unable to get through to her from one day to the next. It's like thet movie, Groundhog Day. You wake up and have lost all progress from the day before and have to start all over again from scratch. If food were the only thing it might be mroe manageable, but we still deal with having deal with the simplest basic hygeine things DAILY like wipe and flush, brush teeth, and wash hands. We're talking about a smart kid--capable of A's when she can focus, reads at a high level and invents amazting things, has an awesome sense of humor, has nice friends... No one would ever guess she's an Aspie just meeting her in a normal circumstance. Its so easy to forget in the moment that these things are not intentional. God, it's wearing....But she's our world, so we never give up I guess the deep frustration coimes from wanting so much for her in life.

Anyway, several of you mentioned getting some help and that is the plan now. I am looking for a psychologist to hopefully give us some direction tomorrow.

Yeah, we have a lot of issues with adaptive/life skills, too. We expect to for some time. The thing that I try to remember is that though my son my be 7, is that in some ways he is developmentally half that, smart as he may be. So often I end up using techniques for 3-4 years old and they work pretty well.

You may have to lock up the stuff you -really- do not want her to have and maybe leave a few things out that you can live with her having unlimited access to. She may not be ready to exhibit that much self control to have all her temptations available. She may need help. Google something called the Marshmallow Test, which tested 4 yr olds in self control re: eating a marshmallow. The ones who passed the test, were the ones who kept themselves from looking at the marshmallows. You may just have to go a step or two further for your child, and not only take sweets out of view, but lock sweets up or keep them out of the house.

The other thing is and I understand this is a semantic nitpick, but bear with me: She is not stealing food, so much as she is compulsively eating in a way that is not healthy for her. Most families look at most food products in the house as being communal. That does not mean that your child can eat anything she wants, just that it is not stealing. It might help you not get as fed up if you think about this way, rather than mentally using the word stealing. (I am NOT implying that you are making her feel that way, just that it may help you to reposition it in your mind.)

If you lock the sugars up. etc, and just say leave her with 100% juice or something (or whatever suits your family) let her have it and don't make her feel she has to sneak it. This way whatever she eats, she eats in front of you and you don't have nasty surprises left around the house. It will help foster mutual trust, I think, too. The last thing you want is a child who sneaks stuff around your back. Later on it will not just be food, it will be boyfriends or who knows what. If you pick juice, you could also gradually start to dilute it with water to decrease the sugar content ratio.