Advice needed for verbal/vocal stimming
So, I recently discovered Amythest Schaber's amazing and wonderful YouTube channel. In my opinion, her videos should be watched by everyone who has an autistic loved one, even if they themselves are on the spectrum.
I came across this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEB7nGvJt7I
...and the pieces clicked together why my daughter does all those things. My mom did them too, and I figured it was just some odd trait. Completely didn't put 2+2 together and recognize it as stimming, mostly because stimming had been "trained" out of me. Well, the expression of it was trained out anyway, as my mom had the same audio sensitivities as myself (and my daughter) and could not stand the sounds I made. Anyway, I had an "ah-ha!" moment during that video, everything clicked together and now I understand my daughter's stim and am resolved to not react to it, even if it triggers my APD. I guess that's one advantage of such an upbringing.
There is one problem, however, and I feel like I'm flying blind (as I'm all messed up when it comes to understanding *expressing* stimming). While watching gaming videos, she has picked up some choice obscenities and they've somehow become part of her stimming. It's like it's one part defense, one part oppositional behavior. How do we get her to understand that stimming is okay, but saying certain words in public is not? Potentially worse question: Should we?
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“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan
I saw her video too and it helped ease my mind a bit. My 6 y/o son is doing this so much now, I try to remember and understand that it is not a bad thing. It is just so strange when he goes around chanting snippets of conversations or scripts in the elevator or in public without any regard to who is around him.
He also has been saying bad words in inappropriate setting like school. I do think it partially is oppositional behavior, because we have always reacted harshly when he did it. So even if he doesn't really know what it is, he knows it's something he's not supposed to be doing. However, I realize that the more I react to it, the more he does it. So lately, I've been ignoring it. He expects a reaction, and when he doesn't get it, it's just not that interesting to him anymore. That's really the only piece of advice I can think of, although I know easier said than done.
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