student of mine passed away

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I'm struggling right now because a student of mine passed away suddenly last night. We all just found out about it in school today.
I am very sad. I can't sleep....and my poor aspie hubby just doesn't know what to do to comfort me. he keeps saying: "it will be alright. you'll be ok.".........and i know i will, but when i say that i just need to cry~well he doesn't get that. so here i am on the computer.
I spent most of my day today at work trying to divert other's attention from their grief~if only for a moment or two.I'm an art educator, and creating art can be very therapeutic. We made paper cranes..............it's virtually impossible to grieve here at home without someone taking it personally. i love my family all so much, but sometimes they just don't get that an NT just needs to cry sometimes.

Grieving is very personal and I think everyone can goof up when they encounter someone who is grieving.
Was the child sick, or was it an accident? Or do you not want to talk about it?

i understand that everyone grieves in their own way............still having such a hard time.
the student wasn't sick at all~i think that's why i am having such a hard time with it.

Ster, you have our deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences. Understanding the grieving process in others can be difficult. Cor still grieves for Z's Daddy and the best thing I can do is listen when she needs to talk and hold her when she needs the personal contact. Maybe tapping into you husbands intellectual side is the way to go, try explaining your needs to him. When he grasps it mentally he will get better with practice.

In the meantime we wil be here when you are ready. All our love,

the Corsarzs

Ster- I'm so sorry. I've done some teaching and you get very attached to the kids. Keeping it together all day at school and then having to at home must be difficult. Take long showers and cry it out there. I need to cry to feel better too.

My deepest sympathies. Something like that would have me shaken up for months, if not a year or more. It truly is tragic.

My families aspies seem to be fractured into two camps. Those who show no emotion, and those who can’t control their emotions. Of course, my mother is the bridge, who flies randomly between both extremes. When my father passed away at 47, and I was 19, she determined that it was “for the best” and “he got what was coming to him” and forbid my sister and I to grieve. She could not understand, that at the end of the day, he was our father! Eventually, talking it through got her to understand… sort of.

I also have an NT sister who seems really cold and detached in these sorts of situations.

Hopefully by talking about your grief, and the natural process of grieving, your husband will understand. You may need counselling for this too, especially if you can‘t get the emotional support at home. Try and reserve some of the advice you are giving your students, for yourself. Not always easy.

i'm so sorry to hear of this situation

but you should probably ust tell your hubby to leave you be sometimes...

just be direct

thank you all so much....it will take time,i know....

Deepest sympathies Ster! I'm a high school teacher and have experienced similar situations... so shocking, and so tragic! It must be so difficult feeling alone with your grief in your home. I'm grateful to not be the sole NT in my family...and aspie ds cries, but oddly he seldom notices if I'm crying.

Take care! I'll be thinking of you!

Ster,

Any loss of a child is so hard and unexplainable. Every time we lose a child at work, I just want to run home and smother my kids in hugs. A loss like this really makes you take inventory of your own life.

I hope you are o.k. I am sorry for your loss.