anger
My son is 17 and his anger will come out as verbal abuse . I am wondering what medications are people having perscribed to have this calmed down? We have added Abilify, and depicote. These seem to work for now, but I hate for him to be on so many meds. He is on others for concertration, and depression.
Z takes a three meds cocktail daily. Adderall for his ADHD, celexa and seroquel for mood control. They seem to help but are not the total answer. Z sees a psychiatrist and a psychologist regularly to help him understand what he is feeling and how to cope with his anger issues. We have found that we have to teach him to recognize his "triggers" and learn to deal with them in appropriate ways. Not always successful but progress is being made.
I, seriously, invite you to tell us your son's and your story on "Can I call you Dad" Z's story. The additional insight may help us know your situation better and be more specific with our advice.
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Aspies, the next step in evolution?
You can't medicate him into being normal.
It sounds like you have him on a lot of meds. are you sure that they are not contributing to the problem?
I would recommend finding what makes him angry, and work on decreasing his stresses. He may need anger management classes, and social skills classes.
He may need "space" with others, or be taught to take time outs when he is ready to blow. Better to walk away then explode!
I would recommend finding a good AS psyciatrist, and reevaluating all the meds. Maybe somthing like Strattera would help with both concentration and anxiety, it may help mellow him out too. Then you will need less meds to treat each and every symptom.
But, you need help, and you are not going to find it in a bottle! Meds may play a part in his treatment, i am not discounting that, but instead of treating each symptom, you gotta get to the root of the problem!
I would recommend finding what makes him angry, and work on decreasing his stresses. He may need anger management classes, and social skills class.
I would recommend finding a good AS psyciatrist, and reevaluating all the meds. Maybe somthing like Strattera would help with both concentration and anxiety, it may help mellow him out too. Then you will need less meds to treat each and every symptom.
But, you need help, and you are not going to find it in a bottle! Meds may play a part in his treatment, i am not discounting that, but instead of treating each symptom, you gotta get to the root of the problem!
thank you Earth calling.
that is what I was trying to say but I think you said it more clearly.
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Aspies, the next step in evolution?
I just want to say that I really do feel for you. And at 17, I am sure he can be frightening.
I am a parent with AS, of a child with AS. Honestly, I know both sides very well. I was your son, and I am you.
You may need to let him have 3 months or longer to decompress. Litterally, 3 months where absolutely nothing is expected of him, except perhaps having to talk with a therapist and you about what bothers him, what he needs, and where he wants to go in life. He should be asked to provide solutions to his own problems. If he has a role in designing his treatment plan, he will be much more likely to stick to the accountability.
I remember, being 17, and cornered by my mother, yelled at, and screamed at, (maybe it did not start that way, but it escalated into that everytime). I verbally could not express myself, and like a cornered abused dog, would turn to fight my way out! I looked like a manic, reacting over nothing, and maybe sometimes I was, but there was a problem, maybe no one huge problem, but a bunch of little ones that overtime build up to the point where someone just had to say "boo' and i would lash out in horrible ways.
I was diagnosed at 7 as coping with my day to day frustrations by projecting and regressing resulting in infantile behavior. I did this right up to very recently, and sometimes still do. lately I am learning better ways to express my frustrations. it is a very long road though, i am now 30!
If you are going to escalate a situation, you need to walk away. If you find yourself getting angry, you need to walk away. If you are going to say mean and hurtful things, you need to walk away. If you cannot confront a problem, with open and honest ears, and remain calm, no matter what his reaction is, you need dto walk away. If he reacts, and you find that you cannot remian calm, you need to walk away.
He is going to regress to old and comfortable patterns. You need to break the cycle and not engage in them. This is not giving him permission to behave badly, actually, it is just the opposite.
Honestly though, I think this is bigger then you can handle, you need professional help, therapy, a support network, social skills classes, and anger management are all still good ideas.
We tried risperdal for aggression in the past and it worked for a while but became less effective over time. I agree that some therapy for anger management and direct instruction in social skills is probably more effective in the long run. We still have a lot of verbal aggression. Puberty complicates the issue, too so hopefully things will calm down in a few years.
He does go to therapy weekly and he has social classes in school. I carry these things out at home. I am very tuned into what are his moods. He is late in puberty, and is immature. I feel that sometime that the theraoy is a loss and is not working as he is shutting down. I do see a turn around with the depaote, so far.
what about changing therapists?
son had made some great changes with his first therapist, but then things stalled.....due to other circumstances, we were forced into looking for a new therapist....the new one is not someone i particularly care for~can't quite put my finger on it~ but son has continued to make some very important strides with her.
I really, really think you need to consider something other than pills for this one. You can't drug everything you dislike out of him. It's reprehensible to want to drug up a 17-year-old kid for something like that.
My 16 year old was on Lexapro and Abilify as his last combo. We have since taken away the Lexapro because he said it didn't allow him to feel creative and it actually made him feel jumpy and edgy. He has been dx'd as Bipolar, but I am questioning this. He likes the Abilify, he says it helps with some of his anxiety and allows him to be a little more tolerant of others. My son is extremely verbally abusive and physically abusive on occasions, but we have been noticing that is happens alot when he is having problems with too much sensory input or when he needs to be able to see a situation from another person's point of view. He is especially intolerant of his six year old sister and cannot grasp the concept of "that's just what six year olds do", he feels as if she is doing whatever on purpose just to annoy him. It is a hard thing to cope with and I hope you find your answers.
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