opting out of PE

Post Reply New Topic

Is it possible for a parent to tell the school that they do not want to have their child take phys ed and they will take responsibility for getting their child to exercise? I think phys ed has had really damaging effects on me and my brother, and don't want my future children exposed to it.

I would say everything would depend on your location and your local district policies. In our case our ASD boy was able to participate in an "adaptive" PE class due to his compleat lack of a competitive spirit and nonverbal tendencies. They allowed him to use weightroom machines and exercise equipment with one-on-one supervision during the class time.

My son is also in Adaptive PE also. He also uses some exercise machines/ OT/PT equipment in a small group instead of regular gym. Regular PE was too much for him.

Too bad that option was not allowed when I was in elementary school. It was regular PE and nothing else. I'm sure adaptive PE doesn't do Dodgeball, or capture the flag, or whatever social NT/AS nightmare games the regular teachers are having them do.
I feel it would be better to put your kid into an adaptive class as well. At least he would get some exercise time, and it doesn't involve NTs and being picked last. In some states, they have a X amount of minutes that ANY kid (which includes ASD or any other type of syndrome) gets outside/exercise time.

So my best bet would be to hope my kid qualifies for a diagnosis that allows him/her to be assigned to adaptive PE instead? What if I have an NT/BAP kid? My brother didn't qualify for any diagnosis until after PE had damaged him.

If you can't fully opt out, you might be able to reach an agreement with an understanding PE teacher.

There was no such luck for me in elementary/middle school; I spent that time being last picked, shoved (literally) to the back of the bench, hiding in deep right field, and getting insults and balls (and spit, and pennies, and whatever else they could come up with) thrown at me. It was a bad experience for everyone, more so because the kids I went through K-8 with were for the most part incredibly competitive in every aspect.

In high school, though, I had the good fortune to have a PE teacher who 1) had zero tolerance for bullying (teasing, taunting, and complaining about others in her class got you a ton of push-ups and a zero for participation), 2) prized participation over performance and therefore had us do a lot of things that were non-competitive while still being active, and 3) happily allowed me and a couple of other kids to spend the times when competitive activities were scheduled walking (and walking, and walking, and walking) around the track (or doing pull-ups, or trying to climb the rope, or generally NOT playing volleyball/baseball/dodgeball/milk-jug lacrosse). She didn't care WHAT we did, as long as we were moving.

That turned PE from the bane of my existence (K-8) into actual exercise time, and also time to process and unwind.

Ettina, My son had a diagnosis but his motor skill deficits were insufficient for them to place him in adaptive gym b/c I think they were primarily using it for physical therapy he did not qualify for. They put him in regular gym (which was a sensory nightmare) but they did not make him do the activities the other kids were doing and just let him run around and spin. (They didn't tell me that, but I was there enough that I saw that is what they did.) I decided I was OK worth that b/c I asked him if he liked gym and he said he did, so I think the free exercise time was worth it to him.

That said, I think you are jumping the gun. You may have a child who likes P.E., and if it is a problem, you can deal with it then. I was assuming at some point, if we had stayed in public school, I would have eventually have had an adapted gym placement for our son, or an exemption from locker room nonsense, or something; but in the early grades, PE is not necessarily so bad. He would participate, sometimes, but no one made him b/c it really was not worth it to them to try to make him. They would have disciplined him, and I would have told them they needed to excuse him from the sensory nightmare of multi-class PE and give him special accommodations, which would have made more work for them.

A lot of places don't allow kids to pick teams or any of that stuff, especially in early grades b/c even when it is not about skill, it is about popularity. But it really depends.

If PE is a state requirement, they're unlikely to let the child opt out, even at the parent's request. It could be considered a denial of FAPE (free appropriate public education). If the child has an IEP or 504, though, you could get accommodations to make PE more bearable, though.

Yeah, I cannot imagine them letting an NT just not do it b/c the parent said they were doing it at home--and for no other reason.

There are places (or there were) where in the older grades, if you do a sport, you can get out of taking general P.E.

By the time I realize it's a problem, it could be too late. My brother didn't tell my parents he was being picked on by his PE teacher until it had been going on several months. By that point, he'd already quit soccer and started spending all his free time playing video games.

Your child could be picked on or bullied anywhere. I think the best you can do is teach him to communicate with you and really listen and if possible spend time in the school so you can observe. I don't think trying to keep him out of gym is a solution, and as pointed out, he may enjoy it.

Given your concern, it might help if the gym teacher and your schedule allowed it if you could volunteer to help during gym. Directly seeing what is really going on is very helpful.

Just do what my mom did and tell the school your child has severe asthma that is life threatening and can be set off by physical exertion. They have to let you out of it. Worked for me. That was like 18 years ago so I'm sure it's even easier now.

My son had an awful time in P.E. It's not that he didn't WANT to participate, but he would get stuck very early on with his own internal rules or rituals being violated and would wind up lying on the ground crying. This happened almost daily. In his IEP meetings I would plead with them to allow him to try some alternative form of P.E. (he had a full-time aide, so it's not like they couldn't have let him do something more individualized) but they would not hear any of it. I pointed out that they MUST have some alternative program available, as there are several students in wheelchairs at the school who still participate in some form of P.E. But I think as someone else pointed out, unless the student has a "physical" disability they do not qualify for the alternative P.E. This goes to show that there is still a huge misunderstanding of how the ASD affects a kid in areas where it may not be as obvious to those who don't "get it".

I homeschool him now and am still required to teach P.E. to him, but we don't do anything formal. He jumps on his trampoline a lot and plays outside for at least an hour every day with his brothers, and I teach him academic P.E. stuff like nutrition science. All of that is a million times better than being tortured in group sports on a daily basis, and he gets a lot more exercise in the long run too.

I think if I hadn't been able to home-school, I would have continued to push and pester them for some kind of variance in the P.E. situation. But I think they would have just continued to be stubborn and use it as "evidence" that he was not "fit" for regular public education in general (at the time I pulled him out, they were pushing hard to move him to a full-day Special Ed room, aka "life skills" class, which would have been totally inappropriate for him, but would have solved the "problem" from their end.) I think to some extent they had their hands tied because it was obvious that the very social and structured P.E. situation was borderline abusive to him (and very disruptive to all the other kids too) --- but that's a dangerous path to go down because being "disruptive" or interfering in the education of other children is one of the few wedges they can actually use to force a new placement for a kid, if they want to get ugly about it.

At least where I live, you would need a note from a doctor confirming this. I really did have very severe Asthma as a child, although I participated in gym (to a lesser extent). I used my inhaler during gym a lot. However, now they have better ways of managing Asthma with daily maintenance medication than when I was a kid. It is way more unlikely that a child would not be able to participate in gym (for the most part) since the child would be on control medication.

My son does not have a physical disability, but does do adaptive PE. He was in regular PE, but is now in an ASD program in a different school, and all kids in the ASD program do adaptive PE as part of the curriculum. He does have many motor delays, but his main issues in gym were the social issues, misunderstanding game rules/ expectations, too many kids in the class, too fast for him. The Adaptive PE at his old school mostly did have kids with physical disabilities like Cerebral Palsy, but there were also kids with social/ emotional issues as well.

True about the asthma thing not working nowdays. I've even seen magazine articles about kids tethered to oxygen tanks 24/7 that are still required to take physical education, although I'm sure it's "adaptive" in each case, as it involves a variety of lung/respiratory conditions.

I get the terror of this. I really do. For "non-visible special needs," public school can and so often does turn into institutionalized abuse.

But this is where I turn into that mean, sh***y mom.

You can't protect them from getting stupid s**t from stupid people. You can try, and you will try, and you should try, because you'll be MOM. But it's going to happen, and no amount of pro-active prevention is going to stop it.

Let them do what they can do. Ask questions, observe closely, ask questions, observe again... but let them do what they can do, let them run those risks.

A mother's impulse is to protect her kid. End of line.

But even if they were to be non-verbal with little to no receptive language and the estimated intellectual capacity of an infant, you won't be able to protect them forever. You won't. Let them do what they can do, and try what you're not sure about. Let them run those risks.

They're going to get a few (A few?? HAH!!) scars. Growing up on the spectrum is a big risk factor for ending up with PTSD (lite or not so lite), and we know this, and we know why.

You teach communication, and you have coping strategies and loving understanding ready for when TSHTF, and you get involved and stay involved and watch like a hawk...

...and then you let them run those risks and deal with problems as they arise (and try not to borrow trouble if you can help it, as hard as that is, because if I understand your OP correctly you're worrying about prospective kids, not extant ones).

Because what happens if you try to shelter them from ALL THE s**t is worse than what happens if you let them take their chances.