neighbors

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My daughter has thrown two huge tantrums in the middle of the street this spring. Now that she is 4 1/2, this behavior is getting more attention. We currently have an anxiety disorder/SID dx, but are thinking that is no longer accurate. (We are working with a psychiatrist.) My neighbors are nice and probably won't say anything, but I get the "concerned" looks. How have you handled these situations?

I think it depends exactly on the situation and the neighbours...

I don't understand how 4 year olds just end up with "anxiety disorders". I was basically dx'ed with life long anxiety when I was 7. It was blamed for my apparent "personality disorder" at 7. What is confusing is, nothing was done to me, I had a good family and support, it was all neurological. Looking back, I am sure it is AS.

I think you are right to look at re evaluating the DX. In addition to the psychiatrist, maybe you need to see a neurologist?

You need to remain calm with your child and ignore the neighbors. Also you need to find what is triggering these tantrums and avoid the triggers. They could be related to fear or sensory issues. If your child has AS, then she has a developmental DELAY, which means just that. Her emotional state may be more like a 2 year old, even though cognitively she may be 4-1/2.

The young aspie child has 3 basic emotions: fear, anger, happiness. She has no "motives" for her behavior.

I would also suggest getting a proper dx. If anxiety is present, that means she is living in a state of fear. That is a horrible way for a child to live.

Last edited by SeriousGirl on 08 Apr 2007, 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

nevermind

Pretty much this way, This is a special needs child. We understand that and will handleas his doctors have advised. If you don't want to understand or help constructively, Butt out! [ See, zisn't the only one who lacks tact.]

it's hard to get to the point where you're comfortable turning your back to the stares and comments.................you have to build up a pretty thick skin to be an aspie parent. some days will be great, others not so much. in the end, what you need to remember is that you are there for your child~not the neighbors. they don't need an explanation...and if they do, tell them to look up aspergers on wikipedia....no use getting into debates with people who really only want to control the situation themselves...or tell you what a horrid job you're doing with your child.
you are trying the best you know how. if you feel helpless, then take out books or speak to a social worker or therapist about the issues you're having. it will get better.

It took almost two years to convince two neighbours 100m away that we didn't abuse our kids, but that they simply had a meltdown. All 11 neighbours closest by, quickly got the understanding that our kids had a problem, so they have helped us a lot... We've had ambulances, police, firefighters, well almost every emergency unit available including emergency router replacement, plumbing, and god knows what...

FORTUNATELY the person who was our special therapeut for our kids, actualy knows two of these neighbours because they belong to the same church, and that's probably what saved us. We have one neighbour though who can't understand why we have so rude sons and a daughter that doesn't accept any wrongdoing of anybody! (except herself, she doesn't bother).

reopen your IEP and have ABA placed into it and have it at HOME and SCHOOL! This will help you and her with her meltdowns and she can learn new calming tech. to use.

I got home today after a week with horses with my midst son and found a letter from my janitor.

Translated to english it says about this:

"Hi there. You have a nice warning sign on your door when you have the kids present, and the neighbours doesn't complain at all. You have one neighbour two floors up from yours though that complain. She also complains about the weather, the news on TV and on the colour of the doors. Everybody else likes you as a neighbour /janitors name"

I have a small sign with a few words on it I put on my door when I have my children: (this is the english translation) "Mayhem. Children. 6-11y. Over(re)active."

Have a nice day.

that's funny. that's probably his way of dealing with that complaining neighbor. She told him how bad your kids are and he better do something about it. So, he did.

LOVE the sign !

I can relate to thi spost as well. We have a sign at the entrance to our driveway that looks like the "Beware Of Dog" signs that says "Beware Of Kids". We put it up as a joke, never realizing how much truth it stated,lol. We are not too close to our neighbors, but close enough for them to hear the meltdowns, especially when one of them are in the middle of the front yard screaming. Usually something horrible, like "I hate You" or "God must hate me" and then there is my little guys meltdowns everytime he must transition from playing outside to coming back in the house. We used to worry about it all the time, but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore, although I do expect the police car or child services vehicle to come rolling up one day. We just made sure that the biggest gossip in the neighborhood knew our situation and that seemed to spread the word pretty quick,lol.